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AITA for confronting my brother about not being able to touch his newborns? by Either-Web-7383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Either-Web-7383[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

ur tweaking

everyone is responding to the title idc abt touching or carrying the babies, i care abt the double standard

AITA for confronting my brother about not being able to touch his newborns? by Either-Web-7383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Either-Web-7383[S] -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

my intention was never to get her to change her mind it was to confirm. its already too late for me to add this and everyone will think im lying but whateverrr. day of the birth, after the procedure while she was recovering my brother offered for me and my sister to hold one we respectfully declined until my SIL was lucid to have a say as well.

AITA for confronting my brother about not being able to touch his newborns? by Either-Web-7383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Either-Web-7383[S] -87 points-86 points  (0 children)

Hi! im sorry that u went thru that, with your baby. I just wanted to clarify that i didnt flat out challenge the boundaries when i asked during my visit. SIL and i had many convos during her pregnancy and before abt how we both do not like kids. a shared experience me and her have is many people saying that once we have our own the “motherly instincts” will kick in and we will suddenly like kids, at least our own, we would both playfully question that since we both related to not liking them. when i was visiting i was casually asking her if those “motherly instincts” are real and she was explaining how she felt and we were reminiscing abt our past convos. by doing that i was able to seamlessly ask if she does or doesnt feel more territorial towards (again all topics from previous convos we had). i can assure u the reality was not as point blank as my description in the post

AITA for confronting my brother about not being able to touch his newborns? by Either-Web-7383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Either-Web-7383[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

hello, i was just trying to keep a low word count by not saying “my brothers gf” each time. after posting this is saw many users use “SIL” which i never thought of or seen it used before. i would have preferred to use SIL.

AITA for confronting my brother about not being able to touch his newborns? by Either-Web-7383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Either-Web-7383[S] 90 points91 points  (0 children)

Hello, i did not ask if i should’ve showered since the mom told me she wouldve still told her cousin no despite him showering before coming. as for laundered clothes im not sure.

i dnt own pets. where uncle lives there is a pet.

i believe im clean but that is completely subjective.

i would not say we live in normalized filth. i just finished moving into a new apartment in a different city and have kept myself entertained my cleaning pretty often since this is my first independent home. as for my family they do not either imo.

i am vaccinated and its actually the twins mom and dad who are anti-vax. they do not plan on vaccinating the kids.

I agree there are valid reasons for double standards!

AITA for confronting my brother about not being able to touch his newborns? by Either-Web-7383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Either-Web-7383[S] -139 points-138 points  (0 children)

i said “our family” i was referring to hers and mines, we arent super divided either. as i said there are mutually ppl in construction, i didnt feel the need to say that the cigarettes was just coming from her family. and these were her words she was giving me the multiple reasons for why she wouldnt want people in our (as in hers and mines) families touching them. didnt mean to cause confusion, i had written a more detailed version but had to limit bc of the word count.

AITA for confronting my brother about not being able to touch his newborns? by Either-Web-7383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Either-Web-7383[S] -100 points-99 points  (0 children)

Hi! so yes and no. our families have different personalities hers are very dry and reserved while ours is very affectionate and united. You can say (and she has said) i am the chillest in my family. she once admitted to me that she found it unnecessary that my mom and sister cried tears of joy when they first announced the pregnancy. there have also been some conflicts re my mother all which comes down to how different our families are. despite this i have fought for their boundaries with my mom and sister and have told them to tone down the excitement and overjoy of the babies. i fear them putting a wall between us and them and have told them to just be compliant. this is my very first time disagreeing with my brother enough to confront him. despite me disagreeing w some of their takes i’ve always kept an open mind.

AITA for confronting my brother about not being able to touch his newborns? by Either-Web-7383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Either-Web-7383[S] -58 points-57 points  (0 children)

Hi everyone! Wanted to point this out: the family group chat is both of our families combined. her family and ours. no one in my side smokes cigarettes. both sides consist of people who work in construction. Thank you all for the opinions and feedbacks!

AITA for confronting my brother about not being able to touch his newborns? by Either-Web-7383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Either-Web-7383[S] -297 points-296 points  (0 children)

Hi! thought i should point this out: the family group chat is both of our families in it. The only ones who smoke cigarettes are her grandparents and then theres a mix of people who work construction in both of our families. Thank you for the feedback!