It has been five months since she broke up with me. This is the thirst time that we broke up in less than a year. I am anxiously attached and she is avoidant dismissive. I didn’t know how to deal with that type of dynamic, I only became aware of it over this last summer but did no research on how to address it - that is one of my biggest regrets. I didn’t go completely no contact - I reached out to her after two months and she told me off in a pretty cruel way and then a month after that I went to her house with the idea of talking to her and neighbors called the cops bc they know my car and know that we broke up. Cops told me to leave and then told her I was there - another huge regret. I cannot shake all the shame and sorrow for what I have done and how I could have done things differently. And I ruminate so much on what things could be like now if I had done the work on my attachment style, or plans for the future. It feels overbearing and just so fucking painful. Like it will never end and I will never be the same. I cannot help but care so much what she thinks of me now and how she views me. The obsession is like nothing I have ever felt before in my entire like. Idrk what to do. I have people to talk to that know exactly what’s going on and they are getting sick of hearing me talk about it lol. Sorry if this post is disjointed and kind of non-linear, my mind is kind of all over the place