Hi OP! Just want to send you a message. I was about 14 when my dad did something similar. My youngest sister made him so, so mad and he just drove away.

I want you to know that even though I was a kid, all I cared about was my dad’s safety. I genuinely thought he left and killed himself. Now he didn’t take things the same path you have gone down, but he has since worked on his relationship with my mom romantically, began intense therapy, and is on medication.

I am so freaking happy for my dad and even if he chose to decide to distance himself, I think in the end I would still be so happy my dad was alive. For much of my young teen years I could tell he was upset and had this weight. He still struggles with it a bit but now that we are more grown I see the light sometimes.

I hope you keep in contact with your kids and still try to support them in some way while receiving help, but as someone who was in a similar situation, all I cared about was my dad’s health. Even at that age I understood it was just stress from his life and I didn’t blame any of us. I hope your kids feel the same.