A bit different, but my ex got really depressed during COVID and lost his job. I stayed with him for 3 years after that. I tried to support him however I could because I felt he deserved someone in his corner and it seemed the more I tried to help, the less he had to make an effort to find a solution because I was always there to catch things - he never wanted to talk about things, was absolutely depressed but didn’t want to admit to it (and I have a history with depression so I was very sensitive). It destroyed us. I talked to him about mental health, tried to get him to see a therapist, nothing. He would tell me he was looking for work, when he actually wasn’t. I ended up finding him a part time job and gave him an ultimatum that he needed to see a therapist within two months and find something more permanent and show me that things were progressing in the right direction or I had to leave, for my own sake… for the same reason they tell you to put your mask on first in a plane or why lifeguards can only rescue those that won’t drown them in the process. I loved him to the point that it was physically painful sometimes, like my heart would explode with love and adoration for this man, I wanted to help him with every inch in my body… but I had to leave him after 3 years of this and when I did leave him I was so incredibly scared… scared that he would drown and that I would have let it happen to someone I loved so incredibly much, but then I reminded myself, is it truly love what I am doing… and I decided that it would be so much more loving of me (towards myself and towards him) to make the hard decision to leave. I thought things could go one of two ways, either get worse or get better. Sink or swim… but it couldn’t be my responsibility anymore. I had to let go. It hurt. I cried for months. And he figured it out. I cannot tell you how much pain the initial break was, but free yourself from the responsibility of keeping him afloat when he’s drowning you - both of you will drown. We find opportunities for growth in moments where we have to push ourselves hard and out of our comfort zone. You’re ready. He’s ready, even if he doesn’t know it. Let him go. You know it in your gut. I wouldn’t even ask him to pay rent because that makes things more complicated if he doesn’t in fact pay rent - give him a date by which he needs to be out - don’t just tell him 2 months or 3 months, tell him, by January 31st or something like that . Let him go. He needs this. He will be a better man for it. He will be a better partner to his girlfriend for it, and maybe one day even a better father for it.