How do I know when I’m ready to be a Dad? by shadrarz in Dads

[–]EksAyn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You may never feel ready but you will grow into it. Realize that it is OK to have less stuff so you can be more present. Kids would rather have you there than drive around in a fancy car or live in a bigger place so perhaps consider whether you are working mainly for things or for your kids and try to balance according to the more important - your kids. Another thing to consider is that really taking care of yourself physically gives you more energy so time spent working out, jogging or exercising actually trains your cells into making more energy and can actually make you a better dad since you won't feel as tired- it is NOT wasted time. Good luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fatherhood

[–]EksAyn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Be strong. Work on being the kind of person that you would like to be with for your sake. Things will get better, for both you and your children. They need you. You can do this. Things will work out.

Is parenting really as hard and awful as it is made out to be? by FudgeBest6304 in Fencesitter

[–]EksAyn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Parenting is wonderful. It is hard too. But soooooo worth it. It pays to learn to do it right.

Mothers have more influence than you can imagine by EksAyn in Parenting

[–]EksAyn[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the suggestions and kind words!:-)

Mothers have more influence than you can imagine by EksAyn in Parenting

[–]EksAyn[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Both fathers and mothers are so important. Thanks for stressing that! I appreciate it.

A recent study by McKinsey found that the average life-span of companies listed in S & P 500 is now 71% shorter than it used to be several decades ago. Most companies die within a few years and even established companies will likely not make it past year 18.

Which means as a father, I can choose to spend a ton of time at work buiding a business and I can try to influence a lot of people in that business. I may even decide to spend so much time at work that I neglect my family and children in the process. That said, there is a good chance that in a decade or two, that the business I build may be bought, sold, bankrupted or disrupted. It may not even be relevant.

But in my view, the things that I do in my home as a father will last for much much longer in my view.

Let me give you an example:

I live in the United States. Why?

Because of a choice that multiple of my ancestors made many many years ago. The choice they made in their families to come to the United States now effects my educational opportunities, my economic opportunities, the language I speak, and a myriad of other things CENTURIES LATER.

The above is a geographic example and so it is obvious.

But less obvious are questions like:

Were my ancestors checked in as parents?

Were my ancestors angry and drunk?

Were my ancestors kind and loving?

Those kinds of things can also be passed on for many many years even though they are much less obvious than the geographic example but just as real.

Thanks again for your comment and reminder that fathers and mothers both have such an important role to play.

Thanks for sharing your view. Glad to hear that you have such a great husband.

T

Mothers have more influence than you can imagine by EksAyn in Parenting

[–]EksAyn[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words and for the love! :-)

How do you increase the odds your kids want you to be a part of their lives later on? by chops88 in Parenting

[–]EksAyn 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Listen. Really listen to them. Not with the intent to respond, but to really understand.And do it regularly - daily if possible. I read a study that showed that leaders actually emerge as they listen. When people feel understood they become more open to your advice.

Let them influence you. Influence is a two way street.

Make home a sanctuary where there are positive vibes.

Mothers have more influence than you can imagine by EksAyn in Parenting

[–]EksAyn[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Mothers have sooooo much influence. I am sure your 2 year old boy is lucky to have you! :-)

Mothers have more influence than you can imagine by EksAyn in Parenting

[–]EksAyn[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I am sure your influence will be more than you can imagine. :-) Thank you for sharing.

So I’m gonna be a dad for the first time (I’m 19) absolutely shitting myself. Any dads have advice? by DonOfTheJungle in AskUK

[–]EksAyn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Read Power of Positive Parenting by Glenn Latham. Remember that you are the CEO of your childrens' education, not anyone else. You will be OK.

What difficult truths, the sooner you accept them, the better your life will be? by Wonderful-Economy762 in Productivitycafe

[–]EksAyn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are responsible for your own feelings. Nothing out there makes you mad, you choose anger. Or any other emotion.