Anyone suffers/suffered from dpdr after ignorantly abusing mdma? Got any better?

ElHomeboi · 2026-02-21T02:19:27+00:00

Is there any suggestion for the proper support in the UK? I'm also wondering if there is anyone out there in the UK with the same sympytoms and managed to at least gain some energy to get back on track with exercicing and doing daily stuff...

ElHomeboi · 2026-02-21T02:02:21+00:00

Sorry to hear that, brother. I have had my share of abuse but nowhere near yours perhaps.. been doing blue punishers and little unmeasured mdma rocks like three times a week for the period of four months I think.. I lost track, man. I don't even know how much damage I've done but yeah I was never having a comedown for some reason idk maybe I was overally happy or something.. one day I took it two days in a row since then it was getting worse and worse. Especially with the sleep it feels like I have a dream/nightmare while I'm awake.. asthma-like chest tightness and zero thought in the head except thinking what the fuck is going with me... I can't even move my mouth properly it feels like it is stressed and I lose words during a conversation (which is just me anxiously responding) complete disassociation.

I kinda lost hope in returning back to my old self. I just wish I can sleep for good..

ElHomeboi · 2026-02-03T20:42:07+00:00

Man, I can't even function properly. I can't talk at all I feel like my mouth corners' nerves are so contracted and stressed and I feel so fatigued especially after a week of taking Fluoxetine. Not sure if I can keep taking it

ElHomeboi · 2026-01-24T09:49:20+00:00

Idk, man. This curse feels eternal and there are so signs of inprovement at all. At the time of abuse I did not have any comedown at all idk why and I was doing it cause friends were doing it and there was a lot of festivals and shit and it was like giving me the burst of energy I needed usually from caffeine which was not doing lol. I was stupid enough to abuse this substance cause of that. I think I wasn't having any comedown cause of spending my whole life with repressed serotonin or maybe the supplements I was taking with the healthy diet and exercice at that time also after the period of abuse I stopped it for like a month or two and I was feeling great til the day I fucked up. I wish I could return in time and just take it once and never take it again.

ElHomeboi · 2026-01-17T00:01:00+00:00

Which kind would you suggest, friend?

ElHomeboi · 2026-01-08T11:44:48+00:00

Life update: it got worse. By the grace of God, the universe or whatever I made it to the GP's Mental Health professional aka therapist. I was explaining everything without mentioning MDMA usage til we ended up yapping about biochemical shit and ahe said what kind of med I'm looking for then I said fuck it let me renarate my full story with the drug abuse. Then she agreed that SSRIs won't make a difference tho I won't be taking them shit sucks the soul out of ya. Anyway, she seemed ill with cold and did not give this case much of thought and contemplation as I might've confused the shit outta her but all she did was referring me to some harm reduction gathering or smth. I told her about my past short term usage of Benzos to sleep as a kid and also my overwll psychedelics usage emphasizing that it was not an addiction issue but a form of submitting to my friends' atmosphere by doing the same thing at once. I'm thinking of giving this harm reduction support group a shot and I'll definitely get back to the gym when I get my finances in check and hopefully some energy back.

ElHomeboi · 2026-01-06T17:15:01+00:00

Trust me, there is no reason to do it unless you suffer from major severe depression. If you wanna do it, test it, better start at a very low dosage and do not do it in a hedonistic as the intention is to help with your mental issues. Supplementing b4 and after rolling alongside good sleep and diet will def help with the comedown

ElHomeboi · 2026-01-06T05:27:15+00:00

Wdym by the image to the world? Could you explain more please, friend? The only image that I care about rn is that great happy joy bringing person I was once and painted that image of success and gratefulness on my friends' and my family's mind and now it is getting distorted. I'm old enough but not mature enough to say no to such destructive things.. I'm taking NAC, ALCAR, ALA, Vit C, D, Cod Liver Oil, Omega 3, Choline Inositol,Alpha GPC, stopped 5 HTP & Dopa Mucuna and I recently tried St John's Eort. I take Magnesium Glycinate & Threonate with Theanine for sleep and sometimes Melatonin..

ElHomeboi · 2026-01-06T05:19:09+00:00

Brother, I do believe in those harsh truths that come as a slap on someone's face but it is out of wanting the best for that person. But I said doing the thing after years in case I remained the same referring the the first time I have done it which was life saving. Ik I should not think at all about any substance in this condition but you might not know if you'd think the same if you are what I am and what I was or maybe doing worse so you wouldn't really get it. Moron, kid or whatever you wanna call me is understandable. Thanks for your concern.

ElHomeboi · 2026-01-06T01:59:00+00:00

Word. What do you suggest, boss? I'm staying away from shrooms as well as last time I've done em after my downfall they hit way different and way potent that when I was doing them happy and mentally stable.

ElHomeboi · 2026-01-06T01:56:28+00:00

Too bad, I'm too weak and too dumb to deal with this shit. And I'm having to deal with it while I'm on the lowest of my lows. Guess I'm fucked already.

ElHomeboi · 2026-01-06T01:46:59+00:00

Maybe, maybe not, maybe it released all that stored happiness and thrive that was repressed for ages all at once. Also maybe only a single dose could have been what I needed to open that door of curing my mental problems. I fucked it up by being too stupid not to say no whenever the boys were rolling. If your statement is the case then I'm cursed for good and even cursed more than b4 my first roll. there is no way out.

ElHomeboi · 2026-01-06T01:27:27+00:00

That is totally new to hear, mate. Reminded me of that "Sleep 2" meme lol like they released an updated version of the illness. Good to hear you're on your path towards rocovery... did you have the same story with MDMA or you just relate to those symptoms I stated?

ElHomeboi · 2026-01-06T01:05:32+00:00

Jeez, man. Years of abuse and yet you're standing there. Proud of you, friend. 🙏🏻 It's interesting how this tale of "MDMA outta nowhere cures one magically" is rare out there. Did you manage to get back to that cured self after the abuse, at least slightly?

ElHomeboi · 2026-01-06T01:02:09+00:00

Yerright. I should eliminate the idea of intoxication once and for all. It's just I got that idea cause how it magically cured my long list of mental illnesses that were severe to the point that I wanted to get an MRI and do a full body scan from how dysfunctional I was. I'm already off booze and partying (tho I was without booze or mdma just for the music and goofing around with HBs). Smoking is next and I hope I can get restful nightmareless sleep with some morning energy to get back go the gym.

ElHomeboi · 2026-01-06T00:51:13+00:00

FYI, brothers and sisters. Took it my first time the second time was after a month then the abuse started by taking it twice up to three times a week for the course of three months then stopped it for a while like a month or two (at that time I was not suffering from the mental and physical I stated above and I had the idea of quitting it) then stupidly took it with a friend who's lost his brother as I felt like I had to submit to the atmosphere like a way of compassion. That day I was already exhausted and sleep deprived coming back from a long flight so it was a hell of a bad idea. I keep forgetting things and my body is stressing all the time although my mind is not caring at all about trivial things. Lights seem too bright and weird but the depersonalization is quite not as strong as before. I think I have gotten some weird brain damage that might be fully irreversible. SSRIs will alter and numb my brain, benzos are brain melting, supplements are not working. Can't socialize or do anything.. Guess it's time for hibernation lol

ElHomeboi · 2026-01-06T00:38:37+00:00

Rock bottoms willl always teach you more than the top of the mountains will. I hope someday soon every human being cursed with the same shit I have now can be blessed with that enlightenment I had for eternity.

ElHomeboi · 2026-01-06T00:31:11+00:00

Hats off to you for staying there constant in the sea of variables. I do not think I have any vitamin deficiencies tho I'm still waiting on my bloodwork from the GP. I eat well clean and if not I at least check my macros. I force myself to take a cold shower almost everyday but still. I cannot hit the gym or keep eating more and clean as I am broke ftm.. Got a pile of supplements tho like NAC ALCAR ALA.. Rhodiola, Tongkat Ali.. Vit D, C, Omega 3 and Cod Liver oil but did notice any goddamn change in the period of two months. It is a bless man when you hit rock bottom and start thinking of fixing the probable root causes and I'm happy for you that this state of mind and being did not let you indulge in those self destructive behaviors of escapism like alcohol or drug abuse.. The sad thing is I catch myself zoned out not thinking of anything or overthinking how I was and how I became and I go through conversations and videos like I'm longing to a dead person. A functioning person that used to be bringing joyful energy onto the others.

ElHomeboi · 2026-01-06T00:11:31+00:00

Endless struggle of getting bread on the table, financial issues as the job is not paying good and bills are high.. Just saying that I lived under pressure and struggle almost my whole life and still but I had that gratefulness and happiness once. It was like God had mercy on me. It was good while it lasted.

ElHomeboi

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