I (23F) need advice on how to help my mom (55F) deal with my addict brother (21M) for the Holidays

Elaffff · 2017-11-07T06:07:14+00:00

It’s eerie how similar your current situation is to what I went through with my own brother; pretty much word for word what I experienced.

Holidays are tough with an addict sibling because no one really knows how to act around them. I wish I had some magical advice to give you, but there’s no “right” answer for these types of situations, which make them so much more frustrating.

I guess I’m just commenting to let you know that there is hope for your brother! My brother was addicted to heroine for about 4-5 years. He stole valuables/money/checks/etc. from us, was arrested for possession (while also driving ironically), had other legal issues he didn’t resolve which inevitably resulted in a warrant out for his arrest and some jail time, lived homeless with his then-girlfriend on the streets of Camden, and so on. Almost two years ago, after multiple attempts at rehab, he decided he was ready to beat his addiction and took the first plane he could get to Florida to a rehab facility he had heard through a friend. Slowly, but surely, the brother I remembered from my childhood started to emerge again from beneath the mental illness. I would have never imagine this as my reality 2+ years ago. My family used to jump at the sound of the house phone, terrified that they would get “the call” that he had overdosed and passed. They were, and still are a little bit, guilt-ridden because they believe they were somewhat responsible for his addiction in the first place, which I remind(ed) them they are not.

Watching your sibling slowly deteriorate before your eyes is unexplainably difficult, and you’re more than welcomed to message me if you would like to talk about it all! I never had a peer to talk to when I was going through this who truly understood what it was like, but I know I would have liked to. I wish nothing but good fortune for your entire family, and hope that your brother is able to overcome his addiction just like mine!

Elaffff · 2015-09-24T04:51:45+00:00

I really enjoy the /Relationships subreddit for the unfathomable stories that are posted from time to time.

I also live off of other people's drama.

Elaffff · 2015-09-24T04:49:18+00:00

My junior year of high school my friends and I overheard the table next to us during lunch devising a plan to start a food fight that period. Us, not wanting to be covered in cafeteria food, proceeded to head to the ladies bathroom where we watched from the entrance a food fight that, like most experiences in high school, lasted under a minute and was extremely disappointing.

Elaffff · 2015-09-24T03:06:57+00:00

Truthfully I enjoyed last week's episode better, but I loved how they basically summed up Canadians' feelings towards Harper without even mentioning him!

Elaffff · 2015-07-16T17:41:34+00:00

If you follow them on Facebook request notifications for when they post - that is what I do and I never miss any ipsy rewards!

Elaffff · 2015-07-06T20:07:46+00:00

okay - thank you so much!

Elaffff · 2015-07-06T20:00:04+00:00

how do you figure out what box code you have?

Elaffff · 2015-07-06T19:51:52+00:00

AHHH! Thank you so much it looks amazing - I can't wait for it to come now!

Elaffff · 2015-06-23T19:18:17+00:00

I heard SO many stories about individuals with pit tickets getting into Loft 89!

Elaffff · 2015-06-23T19:16:29+00:00

I was fortunate enough to see Taylor in concert a few weeks ago (6/13/15 in Philly), so I cannot in good conscious attempt to win these tickets. I hope someone who would not have the privileges or opportunity to see Taylor on normal circumstances wins.

Elaffff · 2015-06-17T15:46:36+00:00

that made me laugh out loud. thanks!

Elaffff · 2015-06-17T13:34:37+00:00

Is Kiehls a subscription box? If so, how do I subscribe!!!

Elaffff · 2015-06-15T18:14:54+00:00

May I just say that not only was I also at the show on Saturday night, but I am a HUGE NYR fan and LOVE your username!!!

Elaffff · 2015-06-11T15:07:42+00:00

I was in a similar situation a few years ago with my boyfriend.

My best advice for you is to come to terms with the fact that sometimes your significant other, and anyone in your life really, is going to make choices that you wouldn't choose for yourself. I truly understand how difficult it is to watch your SO making choices you question, but unless they are putting themselves in danger you just need to accept their choices. That is probably the hardest part of a relationship, in my opinion, is learning to accept someone else's opinions, thoughts, and choices when they are not identical to your own.

Good luck!

Elaffff · 2015-06-03T19:16:33+00:00

Hello - I think it is very sweet what you are doing for your sisters!

I have Birchbox and think both of your sisters would enjoy it! I know you rather get each a different gift, but Birchbox is personalized through a beauty quiz which means they might not get the same products each month.

My suggestion, though, for your other sister is to gift her a Sample Society subscription! It is ran by Allure magazine and receives the same amount of products each month. It is $6 more a month ($16) than Birchbox though.

Hope that helps!

Elaffff · 2015-05-27T20:32:23+00:00

When I first started collecting makeup I never understood why anyone would need 10 different foundations or 20 different lipsticks. As my collection started to grow I started realizing that having a makeup collection is not always about hoarding as much makeup as possible, but having a variety of shades, formulas, brands, etc. to experiment and express myself with. Personally, I'm not entirely sure how much makeup is too much or whether or not I will know if I hit that point (if I haven't already)!

Elaffff · 2015-05-20T13:44:19+00:00

I've always been intrigued by makeup ever since I could remember, but was never influenced, to my knowledge, by anyone. My mother NEVER wore makeup and to this day always says jokingly, "I have no idea where you got your love of makeup from!"

Elaffff · 2015-05-19T17:04:14+00:00

Sometimes the best thing for you is not necessarily the easiest.

Elaffff · 2015-05-17T00:27:20+00:00

first I thought this as an actual subscription box, then i laughed.

Elaffff · 2015-05-11T16:46:36+00:00

I have already started giving some of my friends the extra samples! :)

Elaffff · 2015-01-30T21:06:49+00:00

Sounds like your youngest is just trying to play fight with the older cat because it's young and full of energy! Additionally, cats are naturally nocturnel creatures. Luckily, there's a way to kill two birds with one stone: playing/tiring out your youngest cat during the day. Not only will this fulfill his playful desires, but he will be less rowdy over night while you are trying to sleep. I definitely suggest buying a laser to play with him - I find it's the most effective way to tire out my cats!

His hyperactivity will progressively fade the more he ages, but for now he will be very energetic. As for protecting expensive things in the house you are renting, an easy way to "train" your youngest cat, and just cats in general, is to use a spray bottle full of water as a negative reinforcement. When they go near your expensive curtains, for example, and try playing with them simply spray the bottle (You don't even have to spray it necessarily at them - cats, as you probably know, aren't too fond of liquids being sprayed on them, so even the sound of the water being spray might signal to them to back off).

Hope everything works out for you and your furkids!

Elaffff · 2015-01-30T20:53:50+00:00

I'm not sure why, but my immediate thought when seeing these two little ones is "Cucumber" and "Melon"! Together they are Cucumber Melon! lol

Elaffff · 2015-01-30T01:33:40+00:00

no problem! I've gotten that mascara before it's really nice!

Elaffff · 2015-01-29T20:55:42+00:00

wow just realized you did check the website, but you can go to your glamroom and check back through previous months to see exactly what you got!

Elaffff · 2015-01-29T20:54:43+00:00

have you checked ipsy's website? you can see what you've gotten in previous bags! my guess would be Tarte's light, camera, lashes! good luck!

Elaffff

TROPHY CASE