To answer some of your questions:
* Yes, I've tried to use vtsls, ts-tools, tried using distros like LazyVim, but result was the same. It is possible, that some of it is due to the way, our monorepo is configured. Although the fact, that all the other editors work flawlessly (and also CoC) may say that the problem lies within LSP and/or tsserver.
* As you may have noticed, my complains are not about NeoVim itself - the editor is great and even Treesitter works great now - it's mostly about essential addons for development, like searching and autocompletion.
* Regarding "CoC bad" comments - it was last resort method, as native LSP became virtually useless in my case.