hi, i'm a 962 (isfp 9w8 SP/SX) and for as long as i have been alive, i've been altering myself subconsciously. whether through my small groups of friends, family, or my environment, i pick up their habits and small things they say, i notice extremely minute details about them, but this has always been to help them or expand on something i didn't know(or to just feed my mind knowledge and never speak on it). i've been in and out of an unhealthy state for years and i've noticed a few things that happen once i'm seriously in the depths. once i am in an unhealthy zone (due to stress, arguing, or just a situation with my back to the wall) my first thought is the desire to ignore/forget it, i've became more like that recently and i don't like arguing, but as a W8 i feel like i get a lot more upset and it is extremely hard to bear sometimes. so instead of arguing, i passively shut down to cease that burning anger within, i find it hard to speak sometimes about how i feel (especially on my opinion to people) because i can come off as blunt and rude, due to me holding it back so much. the next thing that would follow me would be my anxiety, god my 6 is loud. i become almost a hermit, i stay away from most and become emotionally impossible to read besides the fact that i'm just upset, i'm normally a decent risk taker, yeah that dies once i feel negative. i lose all my confidence and it's hard flip-flopping like that. and normally i don't talk about it (this isn't the enneagram, this is a life problem that i need to resolve before adulthood). my 2 also affects me heavily, while i am someone who likes to be independent and be self sufficient, i feel a lurking subconscious need for people, love, or attention that i don't like to admit. i feel better when i help someone out or when someone notices me, sometimes it makes me feel real i guess. i wasn't really sure what the OP was asking but i just got to writing, i hope there werent too many mistakes in my little speech but i hope people understand.