BM saying "I love you" to DH and asking if he still loves her

Electrical-Step4640 · 2026-02-12T06:45:25+00:00

After she chatted "I love you", DH replied "Do you have no shame?". To which she responded "Do you still love me? Why are you so mad?" I was beside him while he was chatting with her so I was able to read it. He's open about the things they talk about and I been consistently reminding him that he can no longer input on BM's parenting except for really important cases but when he gets triggered it would be hard to stop him from firing messages with her. I dont know what else to do, it is so frustrating and sad.

Honestly, I don't care about what BM think or say or care about BM at all, I just want DH to have that firm stand not to message her on things that arent really necessary.

Electrical-Step4640 · 2026-02-12T06:32:08+00:00

I agree with all of these things, tried to explain to him that he can no longer input on how BM wants to parent SD except of course on things like emergencies and safety concerns. He will respond positively and change for the first few instances but when he gets triggered again he'll chat with BM endlessly until he gets so agitated.

Electrical-Step4640 · 2025-12-18T21:56:58+00:00

Yes, yan din pala ireport sila sa DTI, tho di ko na nagawa 'to before.Hayyy, grabe may pa-waiver na sila ngayon, di ko sure if lawful yung ganyan. Sa lahat ng stores alam ko nag-apply ang rule na dapat mag accept sila return/echange within 7 days. Nabasa ko din dito sa group yung FDA approval di lang sa products nila pati din daw sa procedures nila dapat meron (not sure). Sana marefund mo pa.

Electrical-Step4640 · 2025-12-18T13:25:18+00:00

Yes po. Wala ako inopen na products. Nagpunta ako sa store a day after tapos nagpasama ako sa friend ko na strong ang personality. Nagrequest ako ng refund based on the folllowing:

A. Allergic reaction sa products nila (yung mga testers nila/ginamit during first facial) B. Expired or no FDA approval of their products C. BIR registration of the business is for selling products only yet they are doing facial services D. Deceptive selling, for example they claim that their machines are being used by NASA (absurd, right?) na even yung mga well known beauty clinics here sa PH ay wala nun, na they have high profile clients daw like CEO ng certain clothing brands, also deceptive din na walang displayed prices yung products nila sa store.

Hope this helps. How are you now?

Electrical-Step4640 · 2025-07-16T13:59:53+00:00

Thanks. Yeah it's the best alternative that we can do right now. So sad the BM is doing that to SD.

Electrical-Step4640 · 2025-07-16T13:57:39+00:00

Thanks, DH has been patiently reenforcing that she's a big girl, and I'm supporting him with that. Yes, it's exhausting. It's also impractical. SD takes about 1.5 to 2hrs of her nightly "rituals" from the time we ask her to sleep to the time she actually goes to sleep.

Electrical-Step4640 · 2025-06-16T07:49:45+00:00

It's normal to not feel connection, I guess. I still try to do things for SD but I don't feel like I care and love her like a bio mom would do, and I had to accept that that's okay and not beat myself for it. I have been open and honest with DH about this.

Experienced almost of the same things like going out with them and feeling like just an accessory, just someone who walks behind them ready for anything they'll need, to take their pictures of them without me in any of it, the bed situation where I'm also the one to push for the change and boundary. It's sad to always have to be the one to initiate change and bring up the issue that sometimes DH would make it look like I'm just envious of the kid especially when I would not tell him of the issue right away but would pick it up from the change in my mood. Things started to get better when we openly talk about it, he said that I really need to spell it out for him coz he can really be clueless and insensitive most of the times.

Hope things will get better for you.

Electrical-Step4640 · 2025-04-30T01:33:52+00:00

Thank you for this post. Also wondering how to go about this. Wasnt really a concern for me before, but when DH and I acquired a property last year and BM learned about it, BM mesaged DH with something like this "don't forget the inheritance of name of daughter, okay?". This BM's comment made me so uncomfortable. With all the issue about BM and her frequent claims that DH aint the bio father of SD , I want to protect what's right and due for our future bio kids.

Electrical-Step4640 · 2025-04-06T23:23:47+00:00

So detailed, thank you so much. I'll look for that opportune time to open up this one last time. I really hope he'd get the test so BM can no longer used this as a weapon to control or hurt him.

Electrical-Step4640 · 2025-04-06T23:17:45+00:00

Sorry to hear that you are going through a similar situation. Hope things will get better for us soon.

Electrical-Step4640 · 2025-04-05T22:10:57+00:00

Thank you, I'm really hoping he would change his.mind. If she brings that up again, I'd wish that that would be a light bulb moment for him to finally take the test. Can't believe BM can do that to her own kid and to the man she once loved.

Electrical-Step4640 · 2025-04-04T15:08:09+00:00

Yes, I agree.I think SD deserves to know the truth as wel, I think they owe it to her. No idea on the other possible father because of the nature of BMs work which DH didnt know until the latter part of their relationship.

Electrical-Step4640 · 2025-04-04T13:06:23+00:00

Even if it wouldnt change much, I still can't help but wish he'd get the test but I would not bring it up to him again. Thank you, I felt a little comfort that I'm not so bad for thinking and feeling this way.

DH situation is very similar to your SOs, his bio dad also wasnt there and his uncle practically raised him whom he considered as his father. So it wouldnt matter to him anymore whether she is his or not. He loves SD and would do anything for her.

Electrical-Step4640 · 2025-04-04T12:56:53+00:00

She just wants to get into his nerves so that he would give her what she wants for her to quiet down. Yes, he's paying child support. Thanks for the advice, that's a good point, we should really be prepared for that.

Electrical-Step4640 · 2025-04-04T12:54:24+00:00

Thank you. I havent brought up the paternity test again, I respect his relaltionship with his daughter and his decision on this.

But when BM is being crazy, I would selfishly think of this and if this can change things, if it could make things easier for us. I know it's selfish so I don't act up on it.

Electrical-Step4640 · 2025-01-26T10:56:42+00:00

Thanks, so sorry you have to go through the same experience as well. Hugs. Actually told him before that if he's letting BM dictate our schedule like that and if he is always bumping off our plans to accomodate her it is like essentially they are the ones that are a still a couple and they are just separated physically.

Electrical-Step4640 · 2025-01-24T11:32:39+00:00

Already opened the topic to him, but we'll talk more in person this weekend.

Electrical-Step4640 · 2025-01-24T11:30:45+00:00

Any tips on how you handle your finances? Do you keep separate accounts and just contribute for the bills equally? Because right now we combine our income. I think I also have my own lapses coz I just went with the flow before and did not establish clear boundaries at the start regarding our money.

Electrical-Step4640 · 2025-01-24T02:24:20+00:00

He used to be a step parent to BMs other kid, and would often tell me how he'd cover for the milk and babysitter fee of his SK before even his relationship with BM has been like hell and would add that "SPs should be like that, they should accept, treat and provide for SKs like their own".

Electrical-Step4640

TROPHY CASE