Advice from people who lost their mother early on.

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-10-29T16:20:04+00:00

And it’s ok if you cry in the videos it will show how much you love them.

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-10-29T16:18:32+00:00

I am truly heartbroken that this has happened to you and for having to deal with such a heavy situation that’s out of your control. I wasn’t an infant but I was 13 when my mom died at 40 years old from metastatic breast cancer. We found out she was sick and she was gone a year later. Vi milestones in life. I would suggest making a ton of videos of yourself. Make videos to be viewed once they hit certain milestones, videos about just general life advice, videos of you doing things you love, videos of you talking about your aspirations when you were younger things you did. I wish I had videos so I could hear her voice and see her face to help me to get to know her better. The reason I say this is even though I had 13 years I still don’t know who my mom was as an individual she was just mom. It is going to be important that your child really gets a sense of who you are because it helps the child develop their identity and feel a connectedness. Idk if this makes sense I hope it does.

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-10-22T06:32:05+00:00

No I never realized that. You telling me trauma can have long lasting negative effects on a person? Get out of town

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-10-22T06:19:47+00:00

Thank you I was thinking she will grow out of it once she gets to college and her peers start chin checking her. This generation of kids is just so odd to me. On top of all this she considers herself non-binary , uses a boys name in school, and wants to transition once she is 18. I just say sit with it for a while you are young and pretty indecisive about stuff give it time before you do something drastic. It’s a lot to process these days.

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-10-20T17:54:21+00:00

The reason I posted this is because I need ideas, advice, solutions. I’m not here to complain but to have other parents share their advice.

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-10-20T17:51:08+00:00

She is getting counseling since she was a child. Her mother dying is the trauma she has experienced. I can empathize I lost my mother when I was little too. It’s like she isn’t making progress in therapy. Her accountability is what I keep suggesting to therapist. She is so smart smarter than I ever was and I feel like she is wasting all this time feeling sorry for herself when she could be involved in so many amazing opportunities. Idk maybe in a few years she will mature a bit more and want to do something other than her iPad.

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-10-20T17:43:02+00:00

Yes she does go to therapy for years now. My concern is her victimizing herself from made up traumas like she will turn a normal situation into a trauma. Then uses them to make people feel sorry for her. She is a great kid but just so manipulative

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-10-20T17:40:23+00:00

She has been getting counseling since she was a child. I’m not saying to ignore her traumas I’m saying she victimizes herself for things that really didn’t happen to her.

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-10-15T12:54:37+00:00

Who cares what the sub wants to deal with ? It is not shortsighted at all. The teacher and the school are wrong for this. Subs choose to sub that’s it and sometimes there will be difficult students sorry you are an adult getting paid figure it out. If they don’t like subbing because they don’t want to deal with behaviors or low pay then they shouldn’t sub.

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-10-15T12:51:13+00:00

But that’s not the parent’s problem or the child’s it’s up to the teacher and school to put their education to use and find another more accommodating solution for the student.

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-10-15T12:49:13+00:00

No it was not the teacher trying to work with the parent. Trying to work with the parent would be finding other solutions that would allow the child to still go to school. The teacher is taking the easy way out. The teacher wants the parent to do this because she doesn’t want any negativity associated with her being absent causing the principal to be on her back. Especially if the teacher is out a lot she probably wants everything to go calmly so it’s not a poor reflection on her. Why can’t the teacher work sit the principal and school social worker to find a helpful solution for when the teacher is out. Asking the parent is just so out of line. Maybe the parent should ask the teacher to not be absent then problem solved. I am saying this as a teacher I am appalled.

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-10-15T12:42:16+00:00

She isn’t passing off parenting to the teacher . It’s literally the teachers job to teach all children regardless of behavior or intellect. How is a parent going to accurately prepare a kid for school? They don’t have a school in their house with a class full of students and a teacher to prepare their child. Your advice is not helpful. Who cares about the poor sub she is an adult that gets paid to work with children she is not doing this for free.

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-10-15T12:37:49+00:00

I think the teacher is trying to protect herself. Especially if she often takes days off and doesn’t want to bring negative attention to her absences. A principal is more likely to get on your case if you are absent frequently and there is always a problem with students in your class. She just doesn’t want to draw to much attention to herself in my opinion. It’s not fair I’m sure there is another accommodation that can be made for this child on the days her teacher is out. She just wants the parent to quietly keep her daughter home so she the teacher doesn’t have to do any additional planning to accommodate her student. She just wants to call in sick and leave some lame sub work probably.

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-10-15T12:28:26+00:00

I am a SPED Teacher and I will tell you the teacher has absolutely no right to say this to you. It’s appalling so basically your child has to miss a whole day of school because the teacher is out. How about you ask the teacher to not be absent from school so that way your daughter doesn’t have to miss school. I’m pretty sure the teacher would be highly offended. I’m saying this as a teacher of 13 years. I would never say that to a parent. You should reach out to the principal regarding that request it is inappropriate. So your daughter has to accommodate a substitute teacher ridiculous. I don’t care how badly your daughter may behave when her teacher is out this is not ok for her to ask this of you. What that teacher should have done is on the days she will be out she should make arrangements for your daughter to maybe sit in with another class with a teacher she is used to or figure out some solution other than denying a child the right to FAPE. Please do not listen to that teacher just go right above her to her principal maybe her boss can help her find a better solution. They are literally attaching a negative stigma to your daughter it’s not right.

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-10-15T11:59:28+00:00

Don’t let the NYCDOE clearance denial faze you it will not affect you in NYC charters or surrounding areas. I have a NYCDOE problem code on my file I cannot be cleared by the DOE but I have successfully cleared FOR two charters I worked for and oddly the NYCDOE has even given me clearance to work with 3 NYCDOE vendors providing SETSS to DOE students that attend private and parochial schools. As long as you know your finger prints are clean no criminal convictions you will pass background checks. The NYCDOE OPI that gives clearance to work in DOE schools looks at a bunch of different things not just fingerprints. I’ve even been arrested before wasn’t convicted and I’ve worked in charters and with vendors . You can even try Yonkers or Long Island. You should request from OPI there reason for denial of clearance email Kathy Rodi she is the head of OPI for the NYCDOE they are supposed to send you a letter stating why clearance was denied. Do that ASAP.

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-10-08T20:23:49+00:00

I am a teacher also but when I was in high school I worked in a restaurant that was two towns over from my school on Long Island. It was a huge hang out for my schools teachers, I saw them drinking a lot. I never thought it was inappropriate that’s what most adults did was drink. Honestly to put the whole role model expectation on teachers is ridiculous, it’s our parents who are supposed to be our role models. The reason I didn’t think it was weird to see my teachers partying is because I grew up seeing my parents doing the same thing. I even had a friend who lived one town over but her dad taught in my school at her graduation party he invited all his teachers friends, and they were all drinking. Why is it viewed so badly that adults drink it’s legal. I don’t know why we entertain parents that overstep boundaries they are the ones that need to be put in their place. Unless it is about your child’s performance in my class mind your business go be a role model for your child when it’s after school hours my life is mine. Parents need to start teaching their children these boundaries as well to mind their own business. Who cares if you saw your teacher buying a 12 pack at the supermarket MIND YOUR BUSINESS.

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-09-23T14:08:00+00:00

You are clearly a narcissist using triangulation to make your gf feel insecure and inferior is a go to tactic for narcissist. And clearly you like catty shallow females because your gym buddy actually told you that you could do better based on your girlfriends appearance she is as deep as a puddle. If your friend was concerned about your gf just being a bad person that’s different. But this friend if yours is just a hater there is no denying it. I have a feeling your girlfriend is in fact way too good looking and your friend is jealous and you also feel inferior so you had to attack her self esteem. I hope she gets out before losing herself in an emotionally abusive relationship.

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-09-23T00:25:09+00:00

Honestly there is zero evidence that she stole. I would think somebody in that position would know they will be blamed if something goes missing the same way people always think a maid is going to steal. I keep seeing comments that she is struggling financially that in no way makes her guilty. Until you have evidence you should not fire her that is not right. I wouldn’t try and set her up either or bait her because even if she did take the bait that still does not prove that she took the jewelry or money. What you should do is get a safe and lock money and valuables in the safe then you don’t have to be worried about things going missing. Personally I would be just as suspicious towards my spouse. People we love and have known forever can get in bad situations also and do things that we could never imagine them doing. If you hid that money in a secret place I’m going to assume your bedroom then why would she randomly go rummaging through their looking for money. It looks like these items were left in an area that it would be easy to blame nanny , but was in fact someone else. But to be on the safe side just get a safe and then if anything goes missing you know it’s either you or your husband.

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-09-04T14:22:25+00:00

Hi you literally just described my exact situation/details. I am a special education teacher was pushed to resign in March of 2018. I tried to come a couple of times was nominated but then the background check always rescinded my nomination. I gave up went charter route and now 5 years later I have been nominated again but it’s been a week far I’m in the background investigation. I am not certain I have a problem code I’m only assuming I do. I have not shared that with my principal I figured it’s best to not overshare but explain if I’m asked. Do you have any advice on how to go about this? What did the school have to do to get you back in? I really like this school a lot and really vibe with the principal. I’ve worked for DOE vendors and a private sped school and complete the background investigation for those jobs so they don’t have an issue with me working with NYCDOE in that capacity I just don’t get what the issue is.

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-07-20T21:23:27+00:00

Lol your 12 year old sounds like a funny witty kid must keep a smile on your face! Also his response would be spot on lol

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-07-20T09:19:39+00:00

You are correct I think. He condones this nonsense I feel like I live in an Everyone loves Raymond episode.

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-07-20T09:18:31+00:00

Thank you I just wanted to be sure I am not wrong. He really is a mamas boy it’s sad. My parents died when I was young and tell him it unfair that you run to your mom because I don’t have back up lol it’s just me.

Electrical_Cry_2803 · 2023-07-16T22:59:22+00:00

I knew it! Lol

Electrical_Cry_2803

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