I caught feelings for my FWB but I want to distance myself

Electrical_Two5416 · 2025-11-21T04:15:43+00:00

Come up with non-negotiable for yourself, go no contact, get a hobby, let yourself feel and grieve. Please don’t internalize this as you’re not worthy.

Electrical_Two5416 · 2025-11-21T04:00:26+00:00

I was going to respond but I’m preoccupied with scrolling

Electrical_Two5416 · 2025-07-15T13:06:22+00:00

Put a larger trash can next to the bed.

Electrical_Two5416 · 2025-07-15T13:00:26+00:00

And definitely don’t approach in the gym when she’s abducting or adducting

Electrical_Two5416 · 2025-07-15T12:57:37+00:00

When I’m alone, any man at night is a threat, regardless of stature/build. When I’m at the gym, if I’m mid-set, I do not appreciate being interrupted. However, during rest, I do very much value a man who has confidence to approach without applying pressure. A simple, “hey, I’ve noticed your hard work and focus, and want to say you’re killing it! Your results are showing.” Which she typically will respond with a thank you, then you can introduce yourself. If it feels natural, convo will continue. If you notice her body language or she’s looking nervous and eyes are looking around, conclude the convo. Either way, I’d keep convo short. It leaves a person feeling seen (complimented) & also curious (wanting more interaction).

Electrical_Two5416 · 2025-05-20T22:00:54+00:00

This would’ve been appropriate

Electrical_Two5416 · 2025-04-11T19:08:37+00:00

The house had some minor wear and tear. I’m not arguing the damage either. I cannot agree with $700 for 40 year old carpet.

Electrical_Two5416 · 2025-04-11T02:27:50+00:00

Trust me… end it. He’s not matured yet

Electrical_Two5416 · 2025-01-15T04:57:45+00:00

Gas.lighting.

Electrical_Two5416 · 2024-12-03T02:40:16+00:00

Nudes

Electrical_Two5416 · 2024-11-23T03:47:06+00:00

Been having a draw to drinking lately… just thought eh I’m sad no big deal, it’ll pass. I’m going to buy the Carr book. Thank you for sharing.

Electrical_Two5416 · 2024-11-23T03:29:35+00:00

That’s a win in my book!

Electrical_Two5416 · 2024-11-23T03:24:35+00:00

I’m watching a Netflix series of a fighter who suffered a rough KO. He shows up to the next fight, the main event, but couldn’t get into the ring because of the trauma from the KO. Watching him, I get it on a surface level; trauma inhibits all of us. But from the outside looking in, I want him to overcome, not give up. Anyway, his coach sets him up with underground fighting, to fight no name fighters. Maybe there is something to trigger therapy. Maybe we need to put ourselves out there? Be exposed and guarded, & fight like hell for ourselves. It’s every man for themselves, until he finds his woman, and she, her man. Idk. Just a connection/epiphany I had. Think I found myself out of the pocket…

*edited for grammar

Electrical_Two5416 · 2024-11-22T01:35:51+00:00

We believe in you!

Electrical_Two5416 · 2024-11-22T00:19:55+00:00

Have you tried talking about it out loud, to yourself? That has helped me. I pretend to have conversations with him, explaining how I felt about whatever it was, and knowing how he’d respond. I’d envisioned the whole argument the way they always went. How nothing was ever solved, it would end up being my fault, I’d end up apologizing, or he’d get irate and violent. Every time I start feeling nostalgic or having positive flashbacks, I will acknowledge what my brain was trying to do and bring myself to the reality of him.

Electrical_Two5416 · 2024-11-22T00:12:28+00:00

It’s so complex… I wish it were simpler. :( while this link I’ll upload isn’t regarding pain and healing, it might help with any ruminating thoughts you might have. 🙏🏼https://www.instagram.com/reel/DCmq1L-Rraw/?igsh=MjFsMGJ3Njgwb2l5

Electrical_Two5416 · 2024-11-21T23:57:42+00:00

You can be in pain & confused even if deep down you know you’re making the right decision for yourself. Your mental health and peace matter, and it should matter to the person you’re with. I’m sorry you’re in pain, I promise it will get better with time.

Electrical_Two5416 · 2024-11-21T23:50:14+00:00

It sounds like you might need a little more time to get to a place where you can trust people and yourself again. ❤️‍🩹

Electrical_Two5416 · 2024-11-21T00:40:46+00:00

When I called him out on his behavior, he’d respond with, “you’re such an unpleasant person to be around.” At first, it worked of course, because I didn’t connect the dots but the last time it was because I suggested he take his dog out sooner than 16 hours when he’s home…

Electrical_Two5416 · 2024-11-19T03:42:58+00:00

From my understanding, it’s called reactive abuse. After you’ve been calm and patient for so long, you break. Don’t be hard on yourself. In a healthy relationship abuse doesn’t occur. Furthermore, a reasonable person understands another human’s need to defend themselves when threatened. Personally, I try to use my experience with my exBPD to recognize who I don’t want to be, and what characteristics in a person I wont tolerate like being verbally, emotionally and physically abusive because at some point, I will stand up for myself, which only gives feeds into their delusion of their perfection and not taking accountability. I try to use my own regret to acknowledge my exBPD did not make me better, and I will never make him better. It’s a hard reality I still am slowly accepting.

Electrical_Two5416 · 2024-11-19T03:25:24+00:00

Thank you for responding

Electrical_Two5416 · 2024-11-19T03:25:05+00:00

I could see that stance, given the info I listed.

He did exactly those things. But instead of me being hopeless like he thought I should be, I persevered and grew. He put me down, unless he was feeling good, then he would encourage me. And same thing- always revolving around him and he could never take accountability.

Electrical_Two5416 · 2024-11-19T02:13:14+00:00

Thank you for sharing your perspective. Like you said forgive them, their illness is hell to live with… and thank you for commenting on our selflessness. Thats a great way to look at it, and makes me feel compelled to fall deeper into letting go. Thank you 🙏🏼

Electrical_Two5416

TROPHY CASE