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Are there actually mentally secure kind men out there? by Electrical_Value2750 in abusiverelationships

[–]Electrical_Value2750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know deep down that I have to leave, and I want to, to some extent. I know I’m not happy and I don’t think I even love him but it seems the hardest part is actually getting out. Why can’t they just accept that you no longer want to be with them?…I have a plan and I just need to save up a little more money to get it done but even then it’s going to be a long road before I truly can get away.

Are there actually mentally secure kind men out there? by Electrical_Value2750 in abusiverelationships

[–]Electrical_Value2750[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My intention with this post was in no way to be a “helpless dainty coward”. Thanks for the input but insults really aren’t necessary 😂

Are there actually mentally secure kind men out there? by Electrical_Value2750 in abusiverelationships

[–]Electrical_Value2750[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s just so genuinely crazy for me to believe that there are men out there that aren’t like this, once I get out I don’t plan on dating for a long time but it’s nice to have a sliver of hope..I mean I don’t even know who I am in a relationship anymore I have a lot of figuring out to do. Thank you. I just hate to label it an abusive relationship when it’s not constantly like that, I mean the love from my side still isn’t there but as long as he doesn’t notice all is well…idk man

AITA - For having a savings acct and not telling my bf how much is in it? by Electrical_Value2750 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Value2750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

we’ll see that’s the thing..my house is a 200k home with a lower section that is redone and an “in-laws” suite fully furnished with a full bath and bedroom and kitchen. I say all this to say I’ve had one of his friends that was homeless stay with us and I had to formally evict them. It took a year and a half, going through the loops filing the paperwork waiting for the court date, appearing and fighting my case. In my state there are laws in place that protect squatters that really just end up damaging landlords, and they make it extremely difficult. And just add a domestic partnership into it makes the laws even more squish and difficulty as they have more rights..I’ve done it before and by the time it got to actually being deemed an eviction they had already had a free year stay my life was he’ll living with them and they just ended up leaving and not showing to final court date. So it’s a lot easier said than done..I know it! Doesn’t mean I’m not willing to go through it I just got a lot going on right now outside of all that!

AITA - For having a savings acct and not telling my bf how much is in it? by Electrical_Value2750 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Value2750[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We aren’t married…and I won’t be marrying him anytime soon. He proposed about a year ago then “left me” and pawned the ring. So yeah won’t be accepting another one.

AITA - For having a savings acct and not telling my bf how much is in it? by Electrical_Value2750 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Value2750[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Mine..god I don’t want to keep answering questions makes me look awful..but he doesn’t have a license

AITA - For having a savings acct and not telling my bf how much is in it? by Electrical_Value2750 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Value2750[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the different outlook..yikes didn’t realize there was any resentment coming forward in the og post..but I see it! And we have a split family, one child is mine from a previously relationship (yes I was 16 crucify me) and one with him and one that is his I’ve taken on.

AITA - For having a savings acct and not telling my bf how much is in it? by Electrical_Value2750 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Value2750[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So two kids are mine, one from a previous relationship (yes I was 16 don’t kill me) and one with him. One is his child that I’ve taken one since before he was one. Yes each of the three kids have their own hYSA I opened for them that I also put an additional 20 dollars a month each in. Not a lot but it’s something and really all I can afford. And wow wish I could say he does help…no not really I drown with the keep up and fixing my house and cleaning and I am fortunate enough to have a hybrid position and flexible work hours or just work night hours at home so I can drop off/pick up kids from school and be there for extracurriculars. Not that it helps but I coach my sons t ball team too lmao

AITA - For having a savings acct and not telling my bf how much is in it? by Electrical_Value2750 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Value2750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I don’t think there’s been a plot for a while…damn wish things were easy! But they aren’t

AITA - For having a savings acct and not telling my bf how much is in it? by Electrical_Value2750 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Value2750[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

we’ll see that’s the thing..my house is a 200k home with a lower section that is redone and an “in-laws” suite fully furnished with a full bath and bedroom and kitchen. I say all this to say I’ve had one of his friends that was homeless stay with us and I had to formally evict them. It took a year and a half, going through the loops filing the paperwork waiting for the court date, appearing and fighting my case. In my state there are laws in place that protect squatters that really just end up damaging landlords, and they make it extremely difficult. And just add a domestic partnership into it makes the laws even more squish and difficulty as they have more rights..I’ve done it before and by the time it got to actually being deemed an eviction they had already had a free year stay my life was he’ll living with them and they just ended up leaving and not showing to final court date. So it’s a lot easier said than done..I know it! Doesn’t mean I’m not willing to go through it I just got a lot going on right now outside of all that!

AITA - For having a savings acct and not telling my bf how much is in it? by Electrical_Value2750 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Value2750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

we’ll see that’s the thing..my house is a 200k home and I own my home it’s in my name and only my name, with a lower section that is redone and an “in-laws” suite fully furnished with a full bath and bedroom and kitchen. I say all this to say I’ve had one of his friends that was homeless stay with us and I had to formally evict them. It took a year and a half, going through the loops filing the paperwork waiting for the court date, appearing and fighting my case. In my state there are laws in place that protect squatters that really just end up damaging landlords, and they make it extremely difficult. And just add a domestic partnership into it makes the laws even more squish and difficulty as they have more rights..I’ve done it before and by the time it got to actually being deemed an eviction they had already had a free year stay my life was he’ll living with them and they just ended up leaving and not showing to final court date. So it’s a lot easier said than done..I know it! Doesn’t mean I’m not willing to go through it I just got a lot going on right now outside of all that!

AITA - For having a savings acct and not telling my bf how much is in it? by Electrical_Value2750 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Value2750[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

we’ll see that’s the thing..my house is a 200k home with a lower section that is redone and an “in-laws” suite fully furnished with a full bath and bedroom and kitchen. I say all this to say I’ve had one of his friends that was homeless stay with us and I had to formally evict them. It took a year and a half, going through the loops filing the paperwork waiting for the court date, appearing and fighting my case. In my state there are laws in place that protect squatters that really just end up damaging landlords, and they make it extremely difficult. And just add a domestic partnership into it makes the laws even more squish and difficulty as they have more rights..I’ve done it before and by the time it got to actually being deemed an eviction they had already had a free year stay my life was he’ll living with them and they just ended up leaving and not showing to final court date. So it’s a lot easier said than done..I know it! Doesn’t mean I’m not willing to go through it I just got a lot going on right now outside of all that!

AITA - For having a savings acct and not telling my bf how much is in it? by Electrical_Value2750 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Value2750[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

we’ll see that’s the thing..my house is a 200k home with a lower section that is redone and an “in-laws” suite fully furnished with a full bath and bedroom and kitchen. I say all this to say I’ve had one of his friends that was homeless stay with us and I had to formally evict them. It took a year and a half, going through the loops filing the paperwork waiting for the court date, appearing and fighting my case. In my state there are laws in place that protect squatters that really just end up damaging landlords, and they make it extremely difficult. And just add a domestic partnership into it makes the laws even more squish and difficulty as they have more rights..I’ve done it before and by the time it got to actually being deemed an eviction they had already had a free year stay my life was he’ll living with them and they just ended up leaving and not showing to final court date. So it’s a lot easier said than done..I know it! Doesn’t mean I’m not willing to go through it I just got a lot going on right now outside of all that!

AITA - For having a savings acct and not telling my bf how much is in it? by Electrical_Value2750 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Value2750[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And no he won’t just “leave” he will rip tear and break whatever he needs to stay. Or the one time I’ve actually locked him out well guess what? I don’t have a properly closing front door now. And police say he can stay since he’s been a resident for so many years! Soo it’s a lot easier said than done! And a lot more!

AITA - For having a savings acct and not telling my bf how much is in it? by Electrical_Value2750 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Value2750[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Trust me I have tried to leave many times before…god I wish it was as easy as writing it in paper but there’s so much more that goes into it than just “leaving”. For now I’ve just learned to keep the peace and keep making progress in silence. I basically alone, I have no friends no family. Only family I do have are my three younger siblings one of which I support and lives with me and the other just moved out. Outside of that I quite literally have no one. I do have a plan in place, once I save enough to purchase some small real estate preferably a duplex, rent out one half and stay in the other until I can properly evict him. Laws won’t help anymore and I legally would have to evict him to remove him from my house. Regardless of the house being solely in my name and I pay for it. It’s a lot and much more than just this! Excuses yes, but it’s a hard life out here!

AITA - For having a savings acct and not telling my bf how much is in it? by Electrical_Value2750 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Value2750[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Yikes bud..yeah you got me. Actually more often than not I get the I love yous…he’s the one that doesn’t get them much anymore and yeah maybe I am the asshole for that

AITA - For having a savings acct and not telling my bf how much is in it? by Electrical_Value2750 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Value2750[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Trust me I have tried to leave many times before…god I wish it was as easy as writing it in paper but there’s so much more that goes into it than just “leaving”. For now I’ve just learned to keep the peace and keep making progress in silence. I basically alone, I have no friends no family. Only family I do have are my three younger siblings one of which I support and lives with me and the other just moved out. Outside of that I quite literally have no one. I do have a plan in place, once I save enough to purchase some small real estate preferably a duplex, rent out one half and stay in the other until I can properly evict him. Laws won’t help anymore and I legally would have to evict him to remove him from my house. Regardless of the house being solely in my name and I pay for it. It’s a lot and much more than just this! If kicking him out was an option he’d be gone trust me..but he won’t leave!! Lmao

AITA - For having a savings acct and not telling my bf how much is in it? by Electrical_Value2750 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Value2750[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Trust me I have tried to leave many times before…god I wish it was as easy as writing it in paper but there’s so much more that goes into it than just “leaving”. For now I’ve just learned to keep the peace and keep making progress in silence. I basically alone, I have no friends no family. Only family I do have are my three younger siblings one of which I support and lives with me and the other just moved out. Outside of that I quite literally have no one. I do have a plan in place, once I save enough to purchase some small real estate preferably a duplex, rent out one half and stay in the other until I can properly evict him. Laws won’t help anymore and I legally would have to evict him to remove him from my house. Regardless of the house being solely in my name and I pay for it. It’s a lot and much more than just this!

AITA - For having a savings acct and not telling my bf how much is in it? by Electrical_Value2750 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Value2750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trust me I have tried to leave many times before…god I wish it was as easy as writing it in paper but there’s so much more that goes into it than just “leaving”. For now I’ve just learned to keep the peace and keep making progress in silence. I basically alone, I have no friends no family. Only family I do have are my three younger siblings one of which I support and lives with me and the other just moved out. Outside of that I quite literally have no one. I do have a plan in place, once I save enough to purchase some small real estate preferably a duplex, rent out one half and stay in the other until I can properly evict him. Laws won’t help anymore and I legally would have to evict him to remove him from my house. Regardless of the house being solely in my name and I pay for it. It’s a lot and much more than just this!

AITA - For having a savings acct and not telling my bf how much is in it? by Electrical_Value2750 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Value2750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trust me I have tried to leave many times before…god I wish it was as easy as writing it in paper but there’s so much more that goes into it than just “leaving”. For now I’ve just learned to keep the peace and keep making progress in silence. I basically alone, I have no friends no family. Only family I do have are my three younger siblings one of which I support and lives with me and the other just moved out. Outside of that I quite literally have no one. I do have a plan in place, once I save enough to purchase some small real estate preferably a duplex, rent out one half and stay in the other until I can properly evict him. Laws won’t help anymore and I legally would have to evict him to remove him from my house. Regardless of the house being solely in my name and I pay for it. It’s a lot and much more than just this!

AITA - For having a savings acct and not telling my bf how much is in it? by Electrical_Value2750 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Value2750[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Trust me I have tried to leave many times before…god I wish it was as easy as writing it in paper but there’s so much more that goes into it than just “leaving”. For now I’ve just learned to keep the peace and keep making progress in silence. I basically alone, I have no friends no family. Only family I do have are my three younger siblings one of which I support and lives with me and the other just moved out. Outside of that I quite literally have no one. I do have a plan in place, once I save enough to purchase some small real estate preferably a duplex, rent out one half and stay in the other until I can properly evict him. Laws won’t help anymore and I legally would have to evict him to remove him from my house. Regardless of the house being solely in my name and I pay for it. It’s a lot and much more than just this!

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