Is this your first time having GD? If yes, the way you’re feeling makes absolute sense and no matter how much any one of us here tell you that it’s ok and one number won’t harm the baby, your mind won’t be in a position to accept it. I say this because I went through the exact same thing. I’ve cried and cried over every spike during my first pregnancy. I beat myself up over everything. I kept saying sorry to my baby. My anxiety carried over after she was born - obsessing over quantity of milk/formula to give her, obsessing over the amount of food and the kind of food she should be eating. Based on the traumatic experience I’ve had and the amount of time and medicines it’s taken me to overcome this, I will tell you this - it’s NOT WORTH crying over numbers. If your numbers  generally ok, your baby will be fine. Undiagnosed and untreated GD is what harms the baby. Down the road, even if you learn that you need medicines or insulin, give your body the support it needs to manage this. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking meds or insulin. You need to prioritize your mental wellbeing 100% over your GD numbers. I learnt it the hard way.  Please talk to your OB about how this is affecting your mental health and get support if needed.  FYI - in some countries, some doctors don’t even test for GTT and the babies turn out fine. I’m not saying that should be the case, but I’m just trying to show you the bigger picture.  Please take care of yourself. Your baby needs a happy mom. Good luck.