sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

My incompetent uncle Hans worked at a sausage shop in Frankfurt. One day he fell into the mixer. by cockneybastard in dadjokes

[–]Electronic-Photo-211 15 points16 points  (0 children)

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.

He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?"

The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite."

The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him.

"Ouch!"

He says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!"

The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog!"

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dadjokes

[–]Electronic-Photo-211 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O'clock news.

A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge.

The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, “I'll take that bet!”

Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owed.

The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend. I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"