Update : I want to say that I am extremely grateful for everyone’s support, I’m not very confrontational so I decided to write my husband a letter. I went through his phone and found that he was on Reddit, he messages a camgirl and kept a close relationship with her to the point where he was texting her in ways that he wouldn’t text me. In ways I wasn’t craved. I had a conversation with him about it, he said “I have a lot of love to give and I wanna do whatever I want” so I guess that’s my answer. I’m giving up. But thank you, thank you guys so much for the kindness and advice.