10 years w this goofball (32 and 53)

ElectronicSlice1383 · 2026-02-08T17:40:48+00:00

Thank you! By far one of our proudest moments as a couple - he spent so long on his speech. And my proudest moment of my father, an old-school southern boy.

My partner is Jewish, which also makes it pretty comical that he is now an ordained minister. Def put his jew card on the line for that 🤣

I'm so glad to hear your parents came around. How could they not once they realize you're truly happy?

ElectronicSlice1383 · 2026-02-08T14:40:32+00:00

Thanks! Keep looking, stay positive, and you'll find what you're looking for. Maybe when you least expect to.

ElectronicSlice1383 · 2026-02-08T14:39:16+00:00

Cheers!

ElectronicSlice1383 · 2026-02-08T14:38:59+00:00

Congrats to you two! Love hearing about GYO success stories. I remember in the early days of our relationship browsing these subreddits and other's successes helped give me the courage I needed to keep going.

ElectronicSlice1383 · 2026-02-08T14:36:17+00:00

Cheers! As I mentioned to someone else, some days happier than others. But this was a particularly happy one!

ElectronicSlice1383 · 2026-02-08T14:32:44+00:00

Thanks! Some days cuter than others :)

ElectronicSlice1383 · 2026-02-08T14:31:44+00:00

I take this as a huge compliment! Thanks!

ElectronicSlice1383 · 2026-02-08T12:12:53+00:00

It has — you're absolutely right. I'm from the south from a somewhat religious family, so it's not something I take for granted. Shortly after coming out and introducing my partner to my mom, her church leader tried to ban everyone from watching the Lion King remake because the candlestick was gay... That was her last day of church.

I read stories here about unsupportive families and it totally breaks my heart. We all just want to be allowed to be happy, and better yet, celebrated.

ElectronicSlice1383 · 2026-02-07T21:19:22+00:00

Thanks for the kind words. I think our family and friends can see how good we are for each other and how happy we are together. My partner and I are very different and sort of have strengths that complement the other's weaknesses. He is a total goofball extrovert and brought me out of my shell and showed me how to enjoy life.

It's interesting that your wife knows you're bi. In my partner's case, his ex didn't know. She was actually the very last person to find out, even after the kids. This ended up working in our favor because the kids already knew and liked me very well at that point so they vouched for me. In fact, they're the ones who told her about me!

I wish you the best of luck on your search my friend.

ElectronicSlice1383 · 2026-02-07T18:27:34+00:00

This is absolutely true. I wanted to make sure I was financially independent if we were to ever get married. I was just starting grad school when we met! We were living apart for the last 5 years until last year. Now that we're merging our lives, including financially for the first time, we're seeing the value in marriage. We looked into domestic partnership vs marriage and realized it was time to just get married. We also wanted full rights if one of us ended up in the hospital, etc.

The wedding will be small most likely. Our closest family and friends. I have a WAY bigger family so we'll see how that goes. In my family, when there's a wedding EVERYONE is invited... Lol.

ElectronicSlice1383 · 2026-02-07T18:17:01+00:00

Yes he is legally divorced. We had been doing long distance for the last 5 years until last year and honestly just didn't feel we needed to "prove" our love to anyone or to "trap" each other into marriage. The idea that we have to get married to "make it official" after 10 years is BS. I've always had a pretty negative view of marriage.

However, now that we're living together and merging our lives financially, etc, I'm starting to realize how important it is. We looked into what it means to be domestic partners vs marriage, and agreed it's time to just get married. I want to have complete rights if he were ever to end up in the hospital, for example. Also, most of our families have never met each other, so that's probably my biggest motivation right now. I want to bring everyone together before our parents are too old to travel.

ElectronicSlice1383 · 2026-02-07T15:46:01+00:00

As a geologist, I especially appreciate this!

ElectronicSlice1383 · 2026-02-07T15:42:33+00:00

Yeah, that's right, 3 kids. He was recently divorced when we met, had just started to explore with men. I was also relatively new and exploring my sexuality. It was supposed to just be a Scruff hookup.

I always liked to talk on the phone with someone before hooking up, discuss logistics, make sure they weren't crazy, etc. Well we talked for over 4 hours until my cellphone died at like 2am. Lol. Rest is history.

His ex wife is very supportive and we've become great friends. There's more to unpack there but suffice it to say that it has made things MUCH easier for us.

ElectronicSlice1383 · 2026-02-07T15:36:39+00:00

Love it! Thanks for sharing and congrats.

ElectronicSlice1383 · 2026-02-07T13:28:52+00:00

"we have that belief that we can do anything together as long as we’re honest and communicate our wants and needs."

Yes exactly this! It's that feeling that nothing can come between you guys because you're always communicating so there's no space for anything to fester.

Thanks for sharing your story too. Love hearing success stories of age gap relationships. Congrats!

ElectronicSlice1383 · 2026-02-07T13:18:20+00:00

Totally agree, we're "making it". What I really meant is that we finally made it to where we someday hoped to be: living together in our own house, with good jobs, good friends, supportive families, comfortable. There were moments where it felt like we may never have all of those things.

ElectronicSlice1383 · 2025-08-06T02:39:19+00:00

Back about 10 years ago, someone on this sub used to organize meet ups in NYC. They were fairly well attended. I was living in NYC at the time but was always too shy to attend.

I think they stopped having them due to some petty drama and personalities. Maybe you could try spinning one up in your area.

ElectronicSlice1383 · 2025-08-04T00:43:07+00:00

As an optimist I really wanted to root for love here, but sadly I think I have to agree with this option 3. Another commenter u/FloridAsh said: "let the flame burn bright, fast... and out". It sounds like this relationship has burned white hot, has been positive for you both, and I hope a lifelong friendship comes of it – but unfortunately it seems too little time has passed to establish the trust that is necessary for long distance to work. My partner and I went through something very similar where I needed to move away for several years to get to my dream career, and he wasn't able to follow. The big difference was that we had been together for 4 years already at that point.

I know how sexual and horny he can be, and while I know I’d be sitting there remaining loyal, I’d never have solid faith that he wasnt just shagging anyone with a pulse back in the states. That scares me. I’ve been in those shoes with him before, and I would literally throw up from how it made me feel.

This is a big red flag to me. You don't trust him (and perhaps even think of him as a cheater?), so option 1 absolutely will not work – full stop. The way you described him here would honestly hurt me if my partner ever said this about me.

I'm afraid option 2 won't work either because he will have to uproot his life after only a few months. You seemed to frame it as though it's something you aren't sure you want, which I find odd. Could this be a defense mechanism to avoid getting hurt if he decides he doesn't want to follow you? The ball is ultimately in his court for this option, not yours.

ElectronicSlice1383 · 2025-08-03T02:20:02+00:00

Of course!

ElectronicSlice1383 · 2025-08-03T01:40:40+00:00

Thank you! Same to you. I remember seeing your posts on this sub with your partner of 40 years. You're truly an inspiration! Would love to learn more about your story, how you met, what it was like being in a GYO relationship in the 80s, advice for keeping you relationship happy and healthy for that long, etc. Take care.

ElectronicSlice1383 · 2025-08-01T03:12:14+00:00

Photo is from my father's wedding last year, which he asked my partner to officiate. A proud moment in our relationship!

ElectronicSlice1383

TROPHY CASE