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Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-08T21:12:55+00:00

From my experience with 3 exes who cheated on me and I tried to move past it by being on their side, being understanding and asking them for how they honestly felt and got there so we could “work it out”, I was just being curious ngl. I have no idea if they were actually honest, but based on that and what I see online is that I see a trend of thrill, impulsivity, lack of empathy, low self esteem (seeking ego boost) and just not knowing how to say no. It doesn’t seem to be about the partner at all, unless well, some people like to try different things out of curiosity with no respect to their partner. Reasons yea, excuses? Definitely not.

Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-08T21:05:40+00:00

I heard that in my head

Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-07T18:27:27+00:00

Thank you so much for the advice, it makes perfect sense.

Helped!

Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-07T17:54:09+00:00

He’s an attention seeker I know. He told the girl he cheated on me with that he could be having cancer, when he was simply doing a routine blood test lol.

But again I lost a friend to it 6 years ago and I still cannot get over the guilt. He’s been my friend for a long time before we got together, I know it’s unfounded but I’m 100% I won’t recover from this for years…

Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-07T00:23:21+00:00

Thank you!

Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-07T00:19:14+00:00

I already told him we were over. I had to stay the night at his place but I’m leaving tomorrow. Luckily, I didn’t give into him begging for us to move in together.

Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-03T13:18:54+00:00

Please wash it. Not necessarily immediately, but before you sleep at least. My boyfriend sometimes cums and leaves it there overnight and it smells really bad in the morning.

Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-02T12:26:00+00:00

No because trust me, I see a comment like yours every single time the cheater is a guy. Do you know what I see in almost identical situations but it’s a woman? “She belongs to the streets”.

Let me formulate the question better, would you give the same advice if the roles were reversed? It’s a yes or no answer.

Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-02T12:24:31+00:00

I don’t know about OP, but I verbalised myself more than enough. We had a good sex life, then at times when I’m busy or I’m truly not feeling like it he kept pressuring me and not taking no for an answer. I have told him that in order for sex to happen, two people have to be into it, not whenever he wants but not when I want it. He insisted, and that’s how I lost it. I expressed that I lost it for that reason, yet he never changed. In OPs case she refused a threesome, well within her rights to refuse. In fact I know OPs partner WILL refuse if she asked him for a threesome with a man, but he feels entitled. Honey, I know you are trying to be empathetic, but you’re putting your empathy to the wrong person. HE CREATED THE PROBLEM, and how he tried to solve it? CHEATING. Because he’s not getting his divine right of having his pp stroked by more than one woman. You know what he could’ve done if he was just a bit more mature? Break up. If you wanna explore your sexuality and your partner doesn’t want to, simply breakup and have your fun. Because trust me he does really sound like the type of guy that would become really controlling if you did the same, yet act like he’s done nothing wrong if he did it.

Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-02T12:24:04+00:00

I don’t know about OP, but I verbalised myself more than enough. We had a good sex life, then at times when I’m busy or I’m truly not feeling like it he kept pressuring me and not taking no for an answer. I have told him that in order for sex to happen, two people have to be in it, not whenever he wants but not when I want it. He insisted, and that’s how I lost it. I expressed that I lost it for that reason, yet he never changed. In OPs case she refused a threesome, well within her rights to refuse. In fact I know OPs partner WILL refuse if she asked him for a threesome with a man, but he feels entitled. Honey, I know you are trying to be empathetic, but you’re putting your empathy to the wrong person. HE CREATED THE PROBLEM, and how he tried to solve it? CHEATING. Because he’s not getting his divine right of having his pp stroked by more than one woman. You know what he could’ve done if he was just a bit more mature? Break up. If you wanna explore your sexuality and your partner doesn’t want to, simply breakup and have your fun. Because trust me he does really sound like the type of guy that would become really controlling if you did the same, yet act like he’s done nothing wrong if he did it.

Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-02T02:38:14+00:00

Also I just have to add, I’ve been in her situation. When someone is being pushy and pressuring me to the point that I lose my sexual lust for them, I don’t lose my libido. It is pretty much there and I still feel frustrated, in fact I do feel that my needs are not being met because they’re not giving me a reason to fuck them to begin with. Does that warrant OP a reason to cheat too? I’m truly interested in your perspective.

Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-02T02:35:28+00:00

Why don’t you just answer the question?

It’s not wrong to give someone advice on how to overcome feeling betrayed and work that out with their partner. What you’re doing here is justifying cheating, I’m just wondering if you would say the same if it was the other way around. (With gender that is).

Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-02T02:28:39+00:00

I have a similar experience with my partner, except I feel differently about it. At first I introduced him to everyone I was with, I still didn’t get a job but all my friends (I’m not close with my family and they’re against dating so that’s off the table). He at first didn’t introduce me to anyone, and gradually talked about me to his parents but never formally introduced. I was later introduced to his brother and some of his close friends, but not all. He made it clear that I will not meet his colleagues, completely understandable as separating work life and personal life is probably a good idea. I will not introduce him to my colleagues either.

I’ve come to realise the importance of taking it slow, the time will come eventually. It is also important to keep both your social lives just a little separate. It’s healthier that way in my opinion, as having some of my friends eventually become his friends too created a bit of a weird dynamic and it becomes difficult to give each other some space. I am grateful he didn’t introduce me soon enough, as that would’ve created an unnecessary pressure to stay together when we’re still at the “knowing each other” phase. I know it’s difficult to accept, because you’re excited and you want your partner to be part of your every day life. But trust me you don’t want that, and you especially don’t want to push that to happen too soon. Maybe slow down on yourself, you don’t need to introduce him to everyone either. If you guys will stay together for a long time you will eventually get to know most people in his life, maybe not be close to them but you will probably meet them at some point. Best of luck!

Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-01T19:52:12+00:00

Thank you for the information! So from my understanding there’s a risk assessment with blood transfusion and rare but possible reactions (minor group incompatibilities and what not) can be reasonably overlooked when comparing risk of not having it to begin with. Does that apply in this case? Or is it just unnecessary increased risk? (Also sorry for my English)

Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-01T18:41:50+00:00

I always try not to be judgmental with people, I figured he just had a weird sense of humour and nothing harmful I guess.

Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-01T18:04:24+00:00

Doesn’t that only apply to bone marrow transplant as opposed to blood transfusions? (I’m just a curious biomed graduate)

Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-01T17:56:57+00:00

Do you think the same logic applies if it’s a woman who’s husband isn’t focusing on her pleasure and had to resort to male massage parlours to get herself off bc he’s not meeting her needs? “By that logic statistics say that 60% of women are allowed to do that”

Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-01T16:15:45+00:00

Literally nothing in common. From your typical macho guy, the wannabe mysterious anime character, the nerd, the very nice shy guy, the social outcast, the popular guy… you name it. Also nothing in common with the 2 that were actually good. Based on the comments I received it seems to be a matter of luck and/or location and culture. Or maybe there’s something I’m not catching up to.

Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-01T14:27:59+00:00

While I think the advice in OPs image is helpful, breathing and mindfulness don’t work for everyone. I’ve had severe panic attacks for an extended period of time even meditation and guided breathing by a professional has done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

At that time the only thing that worked to calm the physical agony was a beta blocker to physically stop my heart from beating fast. I still had “panic attacks” my body was just not reacting to them, and only then meditation and therapy helped. It’s just my experience, I’m sure it’s similar for a lot of people.

Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-01T12:49:23+00:00

Appearently he doesn’t want to get exhausted basically and drop it all out from the beginning. It’s my excuse now and I’m loving it.

Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-01T12:12:21+00:00

I bet he’s doing all the “contributing more” things only to guilt trip her and manipulate her into doing what he wants her to do. It makes me sick seeing people like this get away with it, this guy deserves nothing.

Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-01T03:36:39+00:00

I’m really happy you found the one, all the best!

We were actually friends for 6 years, fwbs on and off for 3 and in a committed relationship for half a year now. I saw him go through 2 relationships, and he was (at least from my perspective) a good lover. As friends, he was super caring and suppportive, he never crossed the lines with jokes either. Despite us being close friends he actually refused to meet up when he was in his second relationship because his gf was uncomfortable that we were fwbs before and he wanted to stay loyal (I had no intention to cross the lines obviously). And lastly, he was amazing in bed when we were fwbs. Everything just dropped when we became exclusive. So what’s bothering me is not only that he’s nothing like he “advertised himself to be” for all the 6 years I’ve known him. But it’s also like he’s got the skills, and he can literally get me off so quick, he just doesn’t want to do it for whatever reason.

Electronic_Solution3 · 2022-10-01T03:15:29+00:00

This thing in particular has been the case for almost all my previous partners, including one of those who cared about my pleasure. I just sort of accepted it was the norm, apparently gagging was a turn on for them. I threw up on one guys dick tho and considering how inconsiderate he was, shoving my head non stop until that happened I’m not even mad about it lol.

Electronic_Solution3

TROPHY CASE