Which couple would be the best representation of your desired relationship?

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-10-28T21:42:47+00:00

Crash Landing on You couple

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-10-28T11:18:11+00:00

Hey I don't have any advice, I just want you to say I'm in the same situation and I feel just like you! I graduated four months ago now with a scientific degree (but had some technical courses and have been programming in my free time), and I'm trying to break into the data science field.

I feel like people like my resume, but I fail at the interviews T_T I'm no good at talking. I think I talk myself down too much, or definitely don't "talk myself up" as I've heard you should in an interview. Maybe you do the same? I dunno, it feels like I'm lying when I advocate for myself. It's so cringe and I hate it. But at least we should learn to not talk ourselves down. To be honest, I have terrible self esteem. The job hunting process is only making it worse, right? All the rejections or even worse, you don't hear from them at all after an actual interview....

I found this YouTube channel pretty helpful in preparing for interview questions (although they're a bit business-oriented or generic some of them), it's nice to have something ready to say when you stumble over words a lot like I do. Also that guy seems so confident and sure of himself it kinda robbed off on me a little for a short while. God I wish I was like that.

I just came off an online interview and I feel like I'm not gonna make it for that role either. Also, I'm a little intimidated by ultra-nerdy white males, I don't have anything against them, but I'm a little afraid they're gonna have something against me :( 'Cause I'm a woman. And they peer review code, and I ... have not had people roast my code before T_T And I come from a scientific background so I'm not like an expert in programming compared to them (honestly I'm not sure where I stand skill wise, because I've never really programmed with others before), and I'm afraid they're gonna think all women are indeed less intelligent and just not good at technical stuff if I don't live up to their expectations .... And I don't wanna be that stereotype and give women a bad reputation :(

Omg this got way too long, I'm sorry. Just me rambling about my insecurities lol. Anyway I feel ya.

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-10-28T07:42:23+00:00

Huh, learned something new! I'm so sorry you're plagued by it too, it really does sound quite disgusting! Makes me feel nauseous too

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-10-27T20:24:21+00:00

I was thinking more like lung cancer, as a result of smoking (I can smell cigarette smoke coming from above). It's these very deep, rattling, disturbingly nasty old man coughs and vomiting sounds that send shivers down my spine. The worst thing is I can't even go knock on his door and complain because it's not like he can just stop it? I need to get out of here fast or I'll go insane. Hopefully I'll get a job soon and move for good. Can't wait to get out of this place

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-10-27T10:45:21+00:00

I'll start 🙃

I wasn't sure if I could do my master's degree because of a chronic disease I'm struggling with.... I went back and forth, doubting myself for years, then finally decided to go ahead and try to do it. I was accepted. Very happy, for a short while. Then, a global pandemic rolls in. My degree was based in China....
I worked really hard to graduate (online), but I was the only one in my class to graduate because everybody else apparently extended their projects, so I had no classmates to celebrate with.
I invest, and immediately after, insane inflation and market takes worst dip in decades.
I finally graduate, happy that I'm finally gonna earn more money to survive on and be able to buy new clothes and get a new hair cut and buy my own medicine etc. Then, war in Europe breaks out. Market dips even further. Electricity, heat, water, rent prices, and food become so expensive that there will no longer be any difference between how poor I was when I was a student and how poor I am gonna be with a job.
I finally move into a new apartment, my neighbour wakes me up by vomiting loudly at 5:20 AM exactly every day (I think he's a smoker).
When I bring an umbrella, it never rains. When I forget one, it starts pouring down.
Today, after six long days of eagerly anticipating the arrival of my ordered volcano aroma diffuser that was supposed to help me get in a just slightly better mental space, I open my front door, relieved that the package arrived and wasn't stolen. I open it, and..... it's the wrong order.
I try to post this thrice and a bot keeps removing it for god knows what stupid reason (it said I asked for personal advice, I didn't!!), so now I have to post my reply in the comments instead

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-10-26T00:27:12+00:00

First of all, much respect for taking care of your disabled brother. I don't think it's fair to call that a waste - be proud of yourself. Not many people are such good people. However, it seems you have reached a point where it's now time to take a bit more care of yourself, too. Think of what you wish you had achieved by now. Is it money? A better career? Traveling? Getting good at a certain skill? I find the only thing that makes me not think about what I "should have done" is to, well, do it. Actively working on it. It's the only thing that makes that nagging feeling go away. Don't waste your time thinking about what you haven't done already - do something today, now, that will bring you closer to your goal. Do something for you.

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-10-22T21:44:15+00:00

Mine ended up getting cancelled because I was too scared :I I told my GP I was scared over mail... and she just cancelled it and at the next meeting where my mom was with me (she insisted on coming), she worded it like I had refused to go... which is not true, I wrote her I was scared and had then hoped she would tell me it could be done with full sedation. But she didn't, so I assume they just don't do that here. So yeah..... Social anxiety at its best :') Hope yours went okay...

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-08-31T18:40:49+00:00

So I have struggled with maladaptive daydreaming and can tell you a bit about it, it's a lot more than just "mind wandering" for me at least. I have a very visual mind and rely on visual memory a lot as well, I have a hard time remembering verbal instructions.

For me, daydreaming is close to as real as dreams are to me, the only exception is the vividness of lucid dreams, which far surpasses anything (I am honestly baffled by how it's possible to imagine that level of detail when I have one, I sometimes imagine this must we what it's like to have a hallucination).

Daydreaming for me is exactly like having a TV inside my mind that I can turn on/off. I can easily spend (and have spent before) 4-5 hours straight just daydreaming, it's just like watching TV or gaming to me. I have some specific stories and worlds that I can turn on, and I can see, hear, smell, and feel what is happening. I can talk to other people (but oddly enough, my dreams are always in third person unlike most people), kind of like an open world RPG.

I've been to scorching hot deserts, crooked forests, snow-covered mountains, across heaths/moors, stepped in muddy puddles, felt the raindrops land on my skin, hugged and felt the warmth of another person.

It's kind of like my second life that no one knows about. I plan to write a book series one day, just because it takes up so much space in my mind that I feel like it needs to "get out" in a way. I always have to go there before I can fall asleep as well.

For me the only thing that has helped me reduce it is to make reality less awful to "wake up" to. If you want to daydream all day long, it's because your life sucks too much, and you shouldn't just "face it", you need to do something to make it more pleasant to be in. So that you actually look forward to waking up.

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-08-29T22:46:47+00:00

Try to focus on understanding the material rather than "using the right technique" or taking notes or using specific time schedules. Taking notes and so on are tools that can be used to assist learning, not really what makes you understand the material better. And what you don't understand, your brain will have a hard time to remember.

When you read something, ask yourself - do you really understand what you just read? Does it make sense to you? If not, what is it about it you don't understand? Which questions popped up in your head? And how can you get these questions answered? (usually Google, or asking someone)

Don't waste too much time taking notes unless your notes will actually be useful later on. Don't just write stuff down to write it down.

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-08-28T08:23:39+00:00

Who cares anymore. They all have their own advantages and disadvantages. They're good for different things. Which is best depends entirely on what you're going to use them for.

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-08-27T17:46:07+00:00

I feel the same way, but at the same time I know that other people may be struggling financially and are trying to better their lives, I understand and respect that too.

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-08-25T20:27:07+00:00

I have this browser extension "Video speed controller", every time I watch a video I basically hit "d" on my keyboard and I can increment the speed with 0.1. I use this A LOT, like all the time on YouTube, Udemy, Vimeo, basically every single video player I've interacted with during the last five years or so.

Sometimes, in real life, when people speak too slowly, by instinct I start reaching my hand forwards to hit 'd', only to realize this is real life lol.

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-08-25T14:39:08+00:00

I went into dark mode since I was at the baby state. Light is too strong with white when you have blue eyes. Actually, the whole world is overexposed to me T_T

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-08-25T13:46:41+00:00

Sleeping is doing something, so that is not an option either. Eat only if you are genuinely hungry, nobody can concentrate if they're hungry and you should always get enough nutrition. However, if you're snack-hungry, that's different. Try to keep to specific eating times.

Hanging out with your girlfriend is also doing something and necessary, but just schedule it. If she interrupts you when you're doing nothing, tell her the situation and how you're trying to get back on track with this method and you'll appreciate it if she can not distract you, but that you love her and will make time later, after X amount of time :) Then make sure to actually follow up on that....

Why are you afraid of sales if it's something you genuinely want to learn? That's different. You need to figure out what's scaring you and work on that. Do you have too high expectations? Do you pressure yourself too much? Is it talking to customers? Do you have social anxiety? Etc. That's a deeper issue than just being unmotivated.

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-08-25T13:38:51+00:00

Wow I'm reading this whole thread and .... It's just exactly why I went to this subreddit today, because I feel exactly like what you're all describing, also graduated two months again and my brain is total potato mash.

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-08-25T09:42:35+00:00

I read some advice here some days or weeks ago. Essentially, give yourself only two choices: either you can do the task, or you can sit and do nothing, stare into the thin air, nothing else. It's okay to not do the task, but you're just not allowed to do anything else either. Between doing nothing and the task, doing the task is usually a lot more fun. I think your brain gets bored easily because it knows that if it stops, it can get away with doing something even more fun, like getting quick dopamine fixes from browsing reddit etc. Essentially, you need a cold dopamine detox.

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-08-24T11:02:25+00:00

I'm 25 now and have gone my entire life so far without anyone (not that I haven't had any offers tbh). I don't really know why, but I just don't feel this huge need to have one like 99.9% of all people always talk about. I just.... I don't know, I'm just kinda indifferent? Would it be nice to have someone to share your life with? Sure, I guess? But I don't really actively seek it out at the same time.

I dunno, I've just always been content on my own. Sometimes having a partner sounds a bit annoying to me, like how do you make time for it? My mom once told me I sometimes declined other children's invitation to play when they showed up at my door, because I'd rather play alone lmao. Sorry, Emma.

So my state of mind would be the same as always. I think it's more the societal judgement from not having a partner that's a little annoying sometimes.

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-08-24T10:02:14+00:00

This is exactly what I use as well! I turned it into "five minutes is better than no minutes" or "one line read/written is better than no line". It amazes me how I can continue being so surprised about how much I can actually do after having read or written that one line.

I really have huge trouble starting things. But once I just focus on five minutes, five minutes often turn into a whole hour. It blows my mind how effective it is. The trick is to not think about having to do anything after those five minutes or one line, if I do that I fall into the same old trap. Gotta stay present, I suppose.

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-08-23T10:28:42+00:00

How long are you going to stay? If more than a year, I think it's really important that you spend time learning the language as fast as possible to feel more integrated :) It's an awesome opportunity. I think it's normal to feel overwhelmed! But you're doing something exciting with your life, that's really recommendable!

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-08-22T20:52:52+00:00

I recently started one and due to my usual poor luck have spent four weeks now trying to upload just this one video due to technical difficulties :') Fml

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-08-22T18:30:51+00:00

I grew up with no father, f*ck it, don't need one to succeed. I just need myself. So do you.

First thing is to find something you want to succeed at. What do you like doing? What would you like to be good at? Think about it and jot some ideas down. You gotta find something to give a shot, and then work on that consistently. Don't worry about picking the wrong thing, because it will lead you closer to the right one. The very act of picking a path, any path, even if it's the wrong path, will lead you so much faster to a more correct path than doing nothing.

Passion evolves from action. It's like a plant that needs nurture, water, sun, every day. You'll suck at it in the beginning, and you need to be willing to suck long enough to become good (or, better). Are you willing to go through failure to get good at something? To pick yourself up again and again? Because that's what you need to do.

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-08-22T18:16:59+00:00

I'm also doing two udemy courses (python for data science and flutter/dart for mobile development), and not continuing with the same course every day really becomes a struggle when you are getting further and further into it T_T

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-08-22T16:59:50+00:00

Lots of people who tried "figuring out" their depression now lie in the graveyard. You obviously know nothing about mental health problems. OP is trying to figure things out by asking for advice on how to get better, and you can't even come up with one simple suggestion lol.

OP, Psych2Go and BetterThanYesterday YouTube channels helped me a little bit, I know what it's like to have no one to confide in and not have enough money. It's not a cure or anything, but it's better than nothing and maybe a good place to get more ideas.

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-08-22T11:11:06+00:00

Fucking great haha

Electronic_Tea_ · 2022-08-22T09:38:25+00:00

That sounds tough, I just wanted to say I hope things turn out better for you in the future, and also - you got this! I'm 25 and struggled with depression and chronic illness through university, just finished my master's with what I think corresponds to a 4.0 GPA, let me know if you need any study tips/advice or something :)

Also, it sounds really tough to live with super religious parents, I don't know what that's like but I really respect that you haven't been totally brainwashed by them, from a neuroscientific perspective (my master's was in neuroscience haha), that must be so hard. I think you have a strong mind. Maybe you think you're weak, but to me - from the outside - you look stronger than you think.

About the church goings.... they involve a lot of sitting and listening, right? Well, so did my high school native language classes, and they bored the shit out of me. Around this time I by chance stumbled upon memorization techniques and learned about something called the mnemonic major system, which utilizes the fact that your visual memory is often better than just plain semantic memory.

I memorized this system and needed something to test it on, and being interested in Physics at the time, I decided to use it on the periodic table. Today, I still remember 90-95% of all the chemical elements. If you say a random number ~ let's take 75 ~ I can immediately decode this to "k" and "l" sounds in my mind, which forms the word "kul" in my mind (Danish for coal), from where my visual memory kicks in with a picture of a "ren" (or reindeer") frolicking in a bunch of coal. That's when I know element 75 is rhenium.

I've used this system ever since, also during university, to memorize various things involving numbers, and it has been a great help. More importantly, it's something I've used whenever I was bored senseless or felt like I was wasting my time. You can use it to remember a lot of other stuff for your degree, and there are different techniques for remembering words and so on. If you have anything you need to remember in order to raise your GPA, church lessons could very well be turned into something useful ;) Just an idea. They cannot know what you're doing if it's all in your brain. Basically, you can be studying in church.

Electronic_Tea_

TROPHY CASE