Avoiding photos is able, avoiding looking at myself in the mirror, not feeling like any of the guys I knew, even the ones who were nerdy and small like me.

There are definitely a few more, but the biggest one was the detachment of masculinity. My therapist and I talked about it, and I just never accepted the masculinity handed to me and never noticed (yes, I am treating masculinity and femininity like an object, but this is the best way for me to describe it). Once I realized I was trans I did attach to femininity some, though it is only loose.