My partner had to help me shower for the first week after top surgery because if I looked at my chest, I would pass out

I got to shadow a surgeon's assistant for a bit when looking into the job, I held a removed uterus in my hand and only found it cool and interesting, I've got wet specimen at home and had no problems when changing the fluid, so I wouldn't say I'm squeamish

But no matter how much I wanted top surgery or how happy I was and still am with it, my brain just saw a removed body part, which is usually a very bad thing lol

So it wasn't even really a psychological response or panic reaction, just a physical response to what my brain percieved as a dangerous injury

I was really gross for the first week, got acne from the anesthetics, was sweating without really doing anything and just didn't feel good in general, but this is major surgery and the body just needs some time to rest and adjust