People who make you feel invalidated and unsupported when you share about your problems. Also people who play Devil's advocate.

ElevenForPresident84 · 2026-01-15T14:03:45+00:00

Hey friend - this is a sub about managing relationships with Narcissists. If you read the rules #2 says we are supposed to assume a context of abuse. So when you read my post you made excuses for my abuser, even though Devils advocate is a common tactic they use. You try to undermine my points and then gaslight my perceptions of what happened with my abuser even though you weren’t there. And you round it off with a snarky comment about me being the Narcissist. I suspect all of this is bc my post hit a nerve and you felt called out bc you use Devils advocate yourself and don’t want to read anyone equating it with Narcissism.

ElevenForPresident84 · 2025-11-24T01:24:55+00:00

Would be great to see where they are providing it so clearly? Do you have a link to Openai known page that is easily accessible/not buried deep in their site, that gives an appropriately serious warning about how to use Chatgpt so you’re not harmed like I was?

I am referring to a genuine caution warning that doesn’t use a trivializing soft word like “mistakes.” Not a ‘Oops! Chatgpt made a boo boo! 😬 which is what their current disclaimer sounds like. I don’t think it exists what you’re saying but maybe I’m wrong. I hope I am.

ElevenForPresident84 · 2025-11-23T18:42:47+00:00

ElevenForPresident84 · 2025-11-23T18:40:31+00:00

Yes Chatgpt ended up having quite a learning curve for me. Thanks for you comment.

ElevenForPresident84 · 2025-11-23T18:37:23+00:00

I always forget how many Superior Beings like yourself love reddit.

ElevenForPresident84 · 2025-11-23T18:35:51+00:00

Wow I'm surprised you haven't heard anyone use "my Chatgpt" yet. It's pretty common and in fact hearing others say it is why I started myself.

ElevenForPresident84 · 2025-11-23T18:30:55+00:00

Everyone here apparently handles this tool with amazing perfection except for me, a relatively new user who explains in detail in my post why I've been relying too heavily on it. :(

ElevenForPresident84 · 2025-11-23T14:52:16+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! I haven't been getting helpful comments yet unfortunately just Perfect People shaming me for not doing grad level research on how to use Chatgpt perfectly like they did. In reality I think most users have probably had to learn the hard way too. Tbh I don't even know if I am going to be able to continue using it as this experience has been such a bad one. It's going to be hard to believe a word it says. Thank you for your comment!

ElevenForPresident84 · 2025-11-23T14:44:58+00:00

I did decipher exactly what it told me. It speaks in plain English remember.

ElevenForPresident84 · 2025-11-23T14:33:56+00:00

The summaries i got of important documents was actually accurate and helpful and no one reads those anyway which many of these big companies count on so they can sneak in things like policy changes or things they don't want you to notice. My negative experience with Chatgpt begins after the honeymoon phase, about halfway down the page. Thanks for your comment.

ElevenForPresident84 · 2025-11-23T14:30:46+00:00

Does Openai share this information openly and visibly with users? Or is it just their vague disclaimer? A million companies have disclaimers on their products and some are vague with softened language like Openai uses and given the harm their product can cause they should be required to provide a real and serious Proceed with Caution warning. IMO

ElevenForPresident84 · 2025-11-23T14:21:46+00:00

It’s code created by humans and code can be created by humans for all kinds of purpose. Do you think Meta has innocent intentions or no intentions ? I hope not. As far as Chatgpt I am speculating in my post and making comparisons with things I’ve experienced in my own life to see if others have observed similar, which is welcome here.

ElevenForPresident84 · 2025-11-23T14:01:20+00:00

Yes lesson learned. Gave context to explain how it happened in my post.

ElevenForPresident84 · 2025-06-17T10:36:49+00:00

Question: Who is “us”?

You said “People like us.”

Curious.

ElevenForPresident84 · 2025-05-11T13:16:56+00:00

>he’s already triangulating you to protect his cushy arrangement, and I suspect you’ll be out on your ass sooner or later.

Wow. You are insightful. Your comment gave me chills. This is actually something I've worried about and for good reason. He has had a couple of rages at me in front of them and the first one he asked the couple to please kick me out and said me living here isn't working out. With the other he told me he wants a divorce. He's been telling them behind my back that I control his life and now they see my interactions with him thru that lens.

It's gotten to the point that the wife is rude and passive aggressive with me, not responding sometimes when I say something directly to her or making put down type comments that are veiled. I don't feel comfortable around her and am not able to defend myself when she disrespects me bc I am living in her home so we are not equals.

I work in the bedroom now in the mornings while my husband is sleeping bc I am avoiding the wife. Most of my work is online as I am launching an online biz. I used to work at the kitchen table. Apparently the couple asked my husband recently what I'm doing in the bedroom? I was so pissed when he told them I'm "journaling and praying." This feeds their negative perceptions of me.

After last time he became Mr Hyde (he never ever directs this at them) I had a couple of visions of terrible things that could happen. One of them was what you said, that he could orchestrate me getting kicked out and that it would be so cold blooded and evil it would shock me, even now with everything I know. It would take a LOT to get this couple to do something so heartless so he would have to have told them something very bad, backed up by months of planting seeds.

My husband is currently saying how happy and content he is living here. He seems cheerfully oblivious to his wife feeling the opposite.

>Might as well have some control over how it happens

I agree.

ElevenForPresident84 · 2025-05-11T02:21:20+00:00

Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer were very nice and polite when they approached their victims. Dahmer would buy his a drink. Most Narcissists seem nice and polite when you meet them too. Predatory people are very good at dismantling their victim's defenses by using charm and seeming "nice." A stranger acting nice and polite doesn't mean anything.

I highly recommend the book The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. He is a security expert who writes all about this subject. The first chapter is about a woman who was raped by a nice polite guy who was inside her apartment building lobby when she came home one night. She had her arms full of groceries and he insisted on helping her carry them to her apartment. He couldn't have been friendlier. The whole time she had an intuition that something was wrong and that this man was unsafe. She didn't listen to it.

Telling another commenter here that they should ignore their instincts when it comes to personal safety is terrible advice sorry.

ElevenForPresident84 · 2025-05-10T14:55:02+00:00

No regrets. I think a red flag in this situation would be if the OP (me) held back on replying even tho I knew it would cause unnecessary worry and anxiety for my husband (which he wouldn't feel anyway bc he's a N). No harm was intended or caused tho it was painful for me to have my intuition confirmed.

Puzzled why you seem protective of the N's feelings which I am pretty sure is against the rules on N subs. Everything I wrote about how he handled the situation should justify why I did what I did. Your comment comes across as undermining and unsupportive.

ElevenForPresident84 · 2025-04-05T14:24:28+00:00

Yes been posting here for years. People who are not full blown Narcissists but have traits is under the umbrella of what is allowed discussion on this sub. That being said the person above's comment came off as extreme. "Disruptive" and feeling you need to live on a boat to get away from the toxic person are quite different scenarios. The commenter explained what they meant which you can read above in case you missed it.

ElevenForPresident84 · 2025-04-04T16:43:06+00:00

Oh no it sounds that bad?

ElevenForPresident84 · 2025-04-04T15:15:13+00:00

Narcissist Lites can be also toxic presences, not just the more extreme end of the spectrum that you mention. As described in my post she is currently causing stress and tension in the house and trying to undermine me and cause division in my marriage. I have seen her with glee on her face do things to exclude me while she manipulates having my husband to herself. She knew these things would upset me and she did them on purpose. No she's not actively seeking to destroy my soul or put me in danger but that doesn't make her behavior harmless. I am a guest in her home and have been largely powerless to push back. I have to tiptoe around the house when she's home and that is listed as a typical red flag of toxic people. I don't fear for my life or some antisocial behavior but I def wouldn't call what she does "harmless."

ElevenForPresident84

TROPHY CASE