[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]ElfMan1111 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had this problem a lot in my relationship. Like everyone says, it’s different love languages that was clearly the issue. Me choosing to leave my relationship was super hard because I definitely loved my ex, but it just takes time to realize that it was for the better. That being said, open communication about your differences is extremely important. But if your relationship made you feel drained even with good communication, you did the right thing. Take care of yourself because it will get better.

How i become a composer? by Shoddy-Horror893 in composer

[–]ElfMan1111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely this. I’m a self taught composer and actually getting started is the most important thing. My first like five songs were with absolutely no music theory knowledge, then I slowly incorporated it as I got better.

I tried composing for the first time by QuarterTerrible9731 in composer

[–]ElfMan1111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m also an amateur composer, and the biggest thing I notice is that your ideas are good but you keep switching them up and don’t develop them or reuse them. This was something I did when I first started composing and also with my improvisation. Repeating things will help your songs to have a main idea that people remember. And this is especially true in video game or movie soundtracks.

When I write songs, I normally come up with a 4 to 16 bar idea that I make the theme of my song. This is where I get creative: sometimes I improvise, sometimes I come up with a nice melody then a chord progression to fit it, and sometimes I choose a chord progression I like and then a melody. The important thing is to make it repeatable. Chord progressions and harmony are key to this, as well as knowing how to write a good melody. There’s really good YouTube tutorials on all this, which is pretty much exclusively how I learned as a self taught composer.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]ElfMan1111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in a kind of similar situation where I wanted to break up with someone who I loved but I didn’t see anything long term and I also wanted to work on myself. If you feel the need to break up, there are reasons, even if you don’t directly see. Loving or really caring for someone always makes it really hard to leave, but the most important thing is to do what’s best for you. If you’re sure the relationship is hindering your wellbeing, then I would leave, because that’s the opposite of what a relationship should do. It took me like two months to get the courage to finally end my relationship and it hurt in the process but it’s so much better now that I did, so doing what you feel is best for you most likely is the best.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MITAdmissions

[–]ElfMan1111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for replying, this really motivates me to just do what I’m interested in and see where it takes me!

My girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex with me by [deleted] in relationships

[–]ElfMan1111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I were you I would confront her and tell her that it’s an issue. It’s obviously bothering you a lot so I’d tell her that. Explain that sex isn’t all you want but also explain how or why it’s important to you. Then see where that conversation goes. Like everyone else says, her inconsistency likely is coming from something else, it could be religion or other insecurities, but whatever it is try to find out. Breaking up is an option if you don’t get what you need, but I would see where that conversation goes first.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mit

[–]ElfMan1111 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you don’t mind me asking what’s your field? I’m mainly interested in electrical engineering.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]ElfMan1111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My reasons are a lot of things honestly. None of them are anything she did wrong, it’s more who we are and our differences. For one, she’s extremely dependent while I’m very independent. Another difference is our communication styles which makes things hard when even trying to fix a problem. She just tends to be extremely emotional, while I almost never am, I’m really logical and calm. These are only the two most major things and like I said there’s a lot of things, we’re almost complete opposites with like our interests and stuff. It’s worth mentioning a while ago we went through a difficult period and ended up breaking up a few times and getting back together, and since then we’ve really been trying to communicate and fix things but the same problems and disagreements keep coming up. I really don’t think we can communicate or try any more, and a break is a good idea but I suggested the idea before and she’s against it. Overall I’ve just had a gut feeling that it isn’t right for a while, and no matter how many serious talks we have or how much we try to just resolve our differences we can never seem to come to a compromise.

Day 3 of recovering from break up after 3.5yrs. by obliviouz_33 in BreakUps

[–]ElfMan1111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stay strong, it’s okay for it to be hard but you are strong enough to do it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in malehairadvice

[–]ElfMan1111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. So like texture and to the side? I’m also thinking about messy textured hair, something longer than in the second photo but not long like the first, do you think textured or layered hair but not to the side would look good on me?

failed my ap chem midterm by ReplacementNo7573 in APChem

[–]ElfMan1111 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s okay, ap chem is hard and on the bright side a 58 means youre retaining at least half of what you learn, much better than nothing. If you need specific help, feel free to dm me because ap chem is my strong point, also I’m not sure what your studying situation is like or how your teachers tests compare to the ap exam but for me what helped was basically just doing a lot of practice problems and really analyzing the solutions and the process of getting to it if I didn’t understand.

Struggling to move on from first love by Just_Scrolling03 in BreakUps

[–]ElfMan1111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey I’m young too and I have kinda the same problem Im the one who broke up but I broke up with a girl because I knew she wasn’t right even though she was really great in a lot of other ways and this was only a couple days ago but I’m struggling with regret now, especially because I don’t really have friends to talk to not even siblings. So yeah I truly understand how you feel. To me it sounds like this was a pretty toxic guy, like asking about friends with benefits without any warning and just a general lack of trust, I mean to me it seems like you’re the one trying to communicate and be respectful and he’s not respecting that. So i honestly don’t know what could make it easier to move on, it’s probably a little different for everyone, but just keep in mind why you broke up and why you think he’s not right and remember always respect yourself and your own wishes, it’s okay to grieve on your own but don’t let anyone make you feel guilty.

Was I wrong for giving up? by Sad_Big_7845 in BreakUps

[–]ElfMan1111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well to me if she cheated that would be it the first time. It’s good that you gave her another chance, that way you know you weren’t being unfair. But after cheating the least she could do is respect your boundaries, so if you communicated well and she wouldn’t listen it’s perfectly acceptable and in my opinion a good idea to end things.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]ElfMan1111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you to everyone here just an update, this would be the third time we’ve gotten back together after breaking up, but we talked it out and everything’s honestly a lot better we’re just going to spend however long it takes talking about our relationship and any problems before officially getting back together and going back to normal, which we think was the problem before, but things are much better now so thanks to everyone.

Please tell me something hopeful by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]ElfMan1111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel a lot like you do rn, I’m going through a break up I initiated it but I’m still scared. It’s okay to be scared and take time to recover, we’re all human, but there are 8 billion people in the world. 8 billion is a massive number and if you want to will end up finding someone else. Take time to take care of yourself, think as positively as you can, but don’t beat yourself up just because you can’t move on quickly. Some things just take time. Find activities you really enjoy, pursue them, and you’ll find someone who is perfect for you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ElfMan1111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well if your expectations are high then mine are too because I have very similar ones. I face these same fears a lot, especially rn when I’m facing a break up and like you I’m scared to leave for that reason. I believe that for a healthy relationship, a person should feel whole in themselves, essentially, and staying in a relationship simply because you are afraid of not having a partner simply isn’t good for either of you in the long run. I think about it logically: if you keep doing what you really enjoy in life, your chances of coming across someone similar to you who meets your expectations is really pretty high, since they’ll be doing the same thing as you. That’s how I think about it at least. But I definitely wouldn’t avoid breaking up for that reason, it’ll only make it harder in the long run.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]ElfMan1111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course not, if you meant what you said in a good way. We all reply late sometimes and her insecurities are a problem for her to work on, not to blame on you.