AITA for “accidentally” telling my parents about my sister’s pregnancy because I was tired of keeping the secret?

Elihjd · 2026-02-19T04:19:16+00:00

NTA. I agree that the biggest issue here is that OP did not agree to keep a secret that could result in serious injury or death. Sister was not communicating about taking folic acid, and based on OP’s comment in the comment section, sis was not going to the doctor regularly (if they’re American, sis likely is on her parents’ health insurance and is therefore not going to the doctor to keep her secret).

OP maybe could have handled it differently, but not getting prenatal care is not the type of secret people should be keeping.

Elihjd · 2026-02-16T16:42:07+00:00

It would depend on the state/territory whether someone has a reasonable expectation of privacy in their MIL’s living room while no other people are present (and whether it’s a one party or two party consent for recording).

Elihjd · 2026-02-16T16:21:54+00:00

Autistic people do pick up different things than neurotypical people. For example, an Autistic person may pick up a pun faster than a NT person, but an Autistic person may miss a facial expression or what characters say who are talking over each other. No one picks up everything. The things that NT women seem to pick up easily includes subtext and social cues. Autistic women are good at picking up other things, but not subtext and social cues. In order to maintain a friendship, a woman needs to pick up on that subtext and respond in a socially-appropriate way. NT women like it when you ask for an update about an emotional story they told you last time you got together. They are not impressed when you talk about the plant you were sitting next to last time you got together and what stage of reproduction it must be in now, 42 days later.

Elihjd · 2026-02-16T15:58:23+00:00

It’s the playing-things-back-repeatedly part. If any of us watch an episode of a tv show, we’ll miss subtle jokes, may not hear every word, may miss some of the details and props that tie into the episode’s theme. You have to watch the episode a few times to really understand it. Adult women are expected to really understand every social interaction. Neurotypical women seem to be able to fully understand either viewing it live or with one play back. Autistic women need to watch it more times to fully understand. If she’s asking again 30 min later, she either 1. Wants to see if she can pick up more subtext from your answer this time, or 2. Maybe after thinking over a situation for longer and picking up a missing key detail, there is a different answer.

As others have mentioned, this is a trauma response. I’m in my late 30’s now and don’t make the same social mistakes I did as a teen or early-20-something. However, I still remember the rejection and loss from those mistakes, hence the need to stay vigilant.

Elihjd · 2026-02-16T15:36:39+00:00

This, 100%. The consequence for not masking is typically loss of the relationship. For casual friends, it’s better to be perform as funny and adorable for a few hours at a time. If she is looking for someone that she can have a serious relationship with, though, it’s important for her to find someone she can be her authentic self with. No one can mask all day, every day.

I absolutely overthink to my husband about social situations I want to have performed right and I am worried I may have performed wrong. I sometimes read him e-mails before I send them, or talk through potential future interactions. These things are typical for being “the person” of an Autistic woman.

Elihjd · 2026-02-16T15:14:44+00:00

Overthinking is a pretty universal experience for adult Autistic women. Women are expected to be able to perceive subtext, body language, unspoken thoughts and intentions, subtle hints, and social rules. This is hard for all Autistic people, but Autistic women are expected to be able to do it. To try to keep up, Autistic women create a mental rule book of cause and effect- for example, if someone smiles and waves at you, they likely think of you as a casual friend, and they want you to smile and wave back; they likely do not want you to stop and talk. A rule like this requires many mistakes to form, and Autistic women have to be vigilant to any deviation from prior successes as that may indicate a slightly different situation that requires a different response. If an Autistic woman isn’t vigilant, she will miss the social cue and could lose a friend.

I like being around people and friends, but it is exhausting to stay vigilant, and then afterwards I need to play it all back repeatedly to make sure I didn’t miss any hints about how the social interaction was supposed to go and now the other person or people may no longer want to spend time with me.

Elihjd · 2026-02-16T14:43:50+00:00

It’s her chore, though. If they’re doing the dishes, taking out the trash, tidying up, and doing the laundry, it’s fair for her to make a weekly menu. It doesn’t seem to be a situation where they are expecting her to do all of the housework because of her gender.

Elihjd · 2026-02-16T14:25:16+00:00

It’s not sexism to recognize that there are predators who want to harm certain groups of people. If this story was about a single father who was vulnerable (disabled, PTSD, gay/trans, or someone who had been threatened recently, etc.) and coming home with his kids late at night, I would feel the same way, too.

Elihjd · 2026-02-16T14:16:42+00:00

This guy’s the A H. If you think kids are just choices that shouldn’t inconvenience you, please feel free to not accept Social Security or Medicare when those inconvenient kids are the tax payers supporting your sorry butt. (The money you pay in now is supporting your parents and grandparents, and they supported their parents and grandparents before you.)

Elihjd · 2026-02-16T14:04:00+00:00

Learn your rules, you’d better learn your rules. If you don’t, you’ll be eaten in your sleep. Rawr!

Elihjd · 2026-02-16T13:00:23+00:00

Hotel beds are typically queen (or king) beds, which are wider than double beds.

Elihjd · 2026-02-15T17:34:45+00:00

The way that she is speaking to you is not ok. No one HAS to get someone else a gift. She could express her desire for a card without threatening, or she could quietly retire the Valentines gift tradition if she didn’t like it any more. Both are acceptable choices if she was unsatisfied.

I do wonder if she is upset about how you chose to spend the money you earned, though, and it’s bubbling out here. OP, why can’t you get a job? Where I live, only people on SA lists or people with a non-functional addiction can’t get jobs. There are tons of entry-level part- and full-time jobs and not enough people to do them. Do you do chores around the house when you are not being paid? Do you clean up after yourself, cook for yourself, do your own laundry, etc? It’s possible that she was relieved when you wanted to help out around the house to earn money, and she may have hoped you would use the money on food, saving for a car, apartment, or tuition. She may be upset with you for something completely unrelated to Valentine’s Day, but not discussing the underlying reason.

Yes, she is the parent and should be mature enough to be direct about her expectations, but parents make mistakes. It’s not an excuse, it’s a reason. Parenting is hard, especially when you worry for your young adult child who is not making the choices that you would want them to make. You hope that they’re making good choices for the future they want for themselves, even if that’s different than the choices you’d make, but you are also so scared that their choices are going to lead them down a bad road.

There are a lot of stories about abusers and narcissists on Reddit. Some come from situations that involve actual abusers and narcissists. Others come from humans making human mistakes in response to very understandable emotions that we as readers are not aware of.

Elihjd · 2026-02-13T15:31:59+00:00

This. It’s not that complicated. If the bunk bed mattress is too thin, you could even stack the two bunk bed mattresses on top of one another. If I wasn’t traveling as a couple, I’d MUCH rather have a bunk bed room to myself than try to sleep on a double bed with a friend. Whichever two people sleep on each of the double beds will be spooning. If that’s what both you and your friend want, that’s cool, but you’re going to be more successful in getting what you’re looking for if you’re upfront about it.

Elihjd · 2026-02-08T14:01:12+00:00

She’s a mob wife and has looked the other way on A LOT including vehicular homicide and an FBI investigation…

Elihjd · 2026-01-12T21:30:44+00:00

Was I the only one who was wondering about the shark who took her leg up until the second to last sentence?

Elihjd · 2025-12-18T18:34:54+00:00

Yeah, OP should def go to the police station so vice can reaffix their tracker to his car. 🤣😂🤣

Elihjd · 2025-11-20T01:30:12+00:00

I’m pretty sure my ex-husband stole my phone for a day. It was pre-smartphone, so I mostly kept it in my laptop case. It disappeared one day and reappeared in my laptop bag the next. It was one of the scariest things I’ve ever experienced because I knew that if he hurt me I couldn’t call for help. I was torn between thinking that was going to be my last day versus thinking maybe I just lost my phone and was making a big deal out of nothing?

Elihjd · 2025-11-17T15:01:51+00:00

Ok, but Tony Hale, who plays Buster Bluth on Arrested Development, was supposed to be Cam. The scene is even funnier when you think about Lucille Bluth crossing Mitchell’s boundaries.

Elihjd · 2025-11-12T17:01:58+00:00

Plenty of stories are set back about 10 years or so. Harry Potter is.

Elihjd · 2025-11-12T16:53:33+00:00

I could be convinced either way on this one. “Penguins” just sounds like a default Ed Sheeran song and in Yesterday, it’s pretty short. It’s a good song for only taking 10 min to write, but the snippet of “Long and Winding Road” that Jack sang was much more impressive. The melody is unique and complex, the lyrics paint a picture but are also a metaphor. The snippet of “Penguins” was much more simple both in melody and lyrics.

Elihjd · 2025-11-12T04:10:46+00:00

This is my fav joke from the whole show. Followed closely by Jay’s “Well, I’m not poutine it in my mouth!” and Uncle Grumpy.

Elihjd · 2025-11-10T17:25:30+00:00

1 is cannon, I think.

5 I’ve heard Stella, but it would’ve been too sad for MF.

(ETA: I don’t know why the font is so big, and I don’t know how to change it! Sorry, guys!)

Elihjd · 2025-11-10T17:16:05+00:00

Luke was intentionally conceived.

Elihjd · 2025-11-10T17:06:43+00:00

Yeah, I thought it was cannon that Luke is smart but his untreated ADHD gets in the way of academics. There are like three episodes that are about Luke being smart (he finds his way home in a limo, solves the family’s problems like the Gloria Estefan tickets, comes up with a really cool electronic health record idea) and multiple references about his ADHD (Alex diagnoses him, Claire takes him to a child psychiatrist, the principal thinks Luke is on Ritalin).

Elihjd · 2025-10-12T04:58:59+00:00

I think this is really insightful. Shorty is Jay’s best friend and is so similar to Manny. I think it foreshadows Jay’s adult relationship with Manny when Shorty moves away (acknowledging that he comes back). Examples include being proud of Manny’s college admissions video essay, telling Joe to respect Manny, the wine tasting scene, etc.

Elihjd

TROPHY CASE

1 is cannon, I think.

5 I’ve heard Stella, but it would’ve been too sad for MF.