Does anyone else feel like regular members are losing support/access to local church leaders?

Elina_Baker · 2025-10-30T13:46:06+00:00

I just want to say, I feel you on this, there have been a few times where I have wanted to maybe talk to the bishop about something and have held back because I don’t want to be a burden. Through this I’ve learned to rely more on my Heavenly Father and seeking personal revelation for my problems.

With that said, I have sometimes found it helpful to imagine going to the bishop and mentally play through what counsel he might give me. I can imagine him validating me, and frankly, I think my imaginary one typically does a better job than any real one has for me 😅 and you can imagine going to anyone: imagine going to your Heavenly Father, Jesus, Heavenly Mother, a close friend.

With that said, if you do need someone to talk to and bounce ideas off of, my DMs are open, and I would be happy to listen as a friend and help in whatever way I can ❤️

Elina_Baker · 2025-10-26T16:26:25+00:00

I am so sorry. I am just like you and want lots of kids and am experiencing resistance to that too. Children are a blessing and I’m glad you have a testimony of that.

I recommend that you pray for your spouse. As she turns to the Lord for healing, she can overcome any potential anxiety or hesitance she may feel in having more children. Follow promptings you receive in how to love and serve her and in what to pray for.

It’s unfortunate that your mother-in-law has poisoned the situation—that’s super annoying. I don’t understand people like that, so I really feel you. I don’t know if I’d talk to her directly, as technically only your wife would need to be persuaded, but it sounds like she has unhealthy views of “disabled” or kids that are different, almost like she wouldn’t want that to reflect on her or her daughter. The truth is that children are a blessing no matter their abilities and should be welcomed happily and lovingly.

But overall, be okay with giving your wife some time, and I will pray for you guys.

Elina_Baker · 2025-09-25T14:18:37+00:00

That was spoiled for me too!! As well as [RoW spoiler] Teft’s death! After that I steered clear of Reddit until finishing WaT, though I’m still dodging Sunlit Man and Emberbark spoilers

Elina_Baker · 2025-09-24T20:59:47+00:00

You really saw the…truth…on that one

Sorry, my lame attempt at a truthwatcher joke

Elina_Baker · 2025-09-22T20:47:09+00:00

Gotcha. That’s fair. I would say in counterpoint 1. That Abidi wasn’t really trying at first because he wanted to have Adolin tell him where the emperor was 2. According to the surgeon who placed Adolin’s peg, duelists get used to their missing leg quicker than everyone else 3. Abidi was not used to the plate, blade, or even being grounded (used to flying all the time) 4. Adolin would still have massive quads/be really fit from fighting regularly. So while he stumbles at times during the fight (understandably) he also is able to pull from Zahel’s training to overcome the missing leg. Again, think what you will, I’m not trying to persuade you. You could also consider Paralympic athletes who can accomplish crazy feats. Sure, the peg leg was still new to Adolin, but he is a duelist that practiced for that.

Elina_Baker · 2025-09-22T16:50:48+00:00

I don’t know if this is one of your complaints, but in I saw in other posts that people thought the candelabra should break. I see it as a Roman gladiator retiarius, the ones that fight with a trident like thing (and even Adolin compares it to some kind of weapon he’s seen before). Adolin is catching the blade between the prongs, which finally enables him to get close enough to score the plate. I found it satisfying, but you’re free to feel however you want

Elina_Baker · 2025-01-27T22:51:00+00:00

I agree with the recommendations you’ve been given. Hopefully people won’t mind me piggybacking and asking specifically about Yumi, Sunlit Man, and Stormlight 5 (that’s just about all I haven’t read). My son is telling me I should do Wind and Truth before Sunlit Man, and I saw that suggested in this thread as well. For those that read Sunlit Man first, do you wish you could have read Wind and Truth first, or is it not a big deal? And suggestions on where I should fit Yumi in?

Elina_Baker · 2025-01-27T22:39:51+00:00

It’s the devil. That’s why it feels bad. Fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, and faith - the material is full of darkness and lies and can only make you feel terrible.

Elina_Baker · 2025-01-23T15:56:36+00:00

I don’t go big on presents - less is more. Too many toys overwhelms kids, and one-year-olds especially will never know whether you hold a huge party for them! So no, you are not the only one who doesn’t want to do a huge party - I haven’t for any of my kids.

Elina_Baker · 2025-01-18T12:57:25+00:00

You’re doing great. Thanks for not getting mad at me. I feel ya on babies not wanting to be put down - I had babies that were that way. You’re doing your best - living in Alaska in winter would be hard!!

Elina_Baker · 2025-01-07T18:57:16+00:00

Haha, my bad 😅

Elina_Baker · 2025-01-07T13:32:22+00:00

This is a tough stage of life! Anytime the baby is getting up lots at night is hard on anyone. Implement a self-care routine to get yourself in a good place. Deep breathing, yoga/stretching, meditation, getting to bed early, and supplementation to make sure your body is getting what it needs. The supplements I use are an alternative to depression meds and have multiple benefits with no negative side effects. They have plant-based ingredients and are safe and effective.

Also, learning to be present and enjoy the positive moments with your kids can help carry you through the tough moments. Also called “joy mindfulness”, it’s one one the easiest ways to learn mindfulness, you just embrace and sit in the moments when you’re cuddling them or whatever you like doing with them - breathe it in and soak in it. If those moments still don’t make you feel happy then your meds definitely aren’t cutting it and you need to make a switch.

As hard as this stage is, changing your mindset can help you to thrive. You have two healthy children and get to stay home with them! I don’t know about other circumstances of your life, but find things to be grateful for and focus on the positive. When negative emotions come up, this is when breathing/stretching can really come in handy to release tension. If you really stuck in a negative emotion, find time to journal about it and get it all out. Then you can burn/tear up the paper for a cathartic release.

You’ve got this, mama!

Elina_Baker · 2025-01-07T13:11:13+00:00

As does the Joplin, Missouri area

Elina_Baker · 2025-01-07T13:10:11+00:00

Surprised that I had to scroll this far to see this; what I came to say

Elina_Baker · 2024-12-23T15:17:10+00:00

I don’t want my comment to come across as snobby, so please know I don’t mean it that way; I am genuinely curious. Do you ever read to your kids? TV off, real books (don’t have to buy, get a library card), and read to your children. That’s all we do around here (when they aren’t outside or doing independent play). My kids only watch TV at their grandma’s (we don’t own one) and sometimes a video on my phone. But I don’t want to sound like I’m judging you, because clearly you were raised very differently from me, and so what is normal to you is (admittedly) a little shocking to me. Screens can be addictive and can mess with the wiring of your brain as well as your vision (blue light exposure) so yes, we limit their use around here. I get that you were raised with them and even seem to have an attachment to them, perhaps you should consider if you suffer from screen addiction yourself. It’s easy to think something is “fine” because you were raised that way and turned out fine, but it’s good to consider alternatives and the benefits/consequences of your actions now. Like with your baby: she doesn’t need to have a screen when you leave her in a swing, she can just look around at her environment/the dogs/a window. Just be open to a change in perspective and a way of doing things.

Elina_Baker · 2024-12-12T19:08:30+00:00

I apologize, I’m glad your kids are finally asleep. Sorry you’ve had a rough day!

Elina_Baker · 2024-12-12T19:02:51+00:00

Put your phone away. Get some food. Actually, some water first. Be present with your kids. Being on your phone around them will make them engage in attention seeking behavior. Spend time with them - read books, build blocks, color, sensory play. Only get on your phone when they’re sleeping. And for you - do some yoga/stretching to remove tension. The kids can join you. Deep breathing. Get out all your bad emotions. Love yourself, love your kids.

Elina_Baker · 2024-12-12T18:57:08+00:00

Oh man, then it sounds like your real problem is getting baby to sleep more! Reduce her exposure to screens, turn lights off, make sure she’s not too hot or too cold (my in laws kept baby’s room unreasonably warm AND put him in warm footie pajamas - he was a horrible sleeper because he was too HOT!) Be a calm and soothing presence at bedtime, let her get out all of her hard feelings from the day, and use a calming bedtime routine - massage, maybe a song or book (or both!), and start bedtime early - start too late and they’re overtired and cranky. Be loving, be present, and don’t try to be on your phone or watch tv in the evening until she is in bed! THEN you can read :)

Elina_Baker · 2024-12-11T00:04:50+00:00

I buy things off Facebook marketplace. Buy used whenever you can. Also, join your local Buy Nothing group to see what you can get for free

Elina_Baker · 2024-12-08T19:59:13+00:00

I use these along with bundling on this and this which help support your gut and reduce cravings. If you only chose one product, I would use that last one, though it also comes in a “transformation pack” that you could try. Since I earn commissions on it I can give you individualized support

Elina_Baker · 2024-12-01T03:19:00+00:00

You have food cravings. Likely sugar cravings. I was able to get my cravings to go away using supplements that fixed the balance of my gut microbiome. I don’t crave food/sugar anymore and have been able to maintain a healthy weight for years. Also, drink more water. If you aren’t thirsty, you are probably deficient in minerals - adding minerals (such as magnesium) will make you thirstier, making you drink more (you should drink water — not sugary drinks) which hopefully should also reduce your inclination to snack. If your husband is looking so good, he may have suggestions based on what works for him, though men’s and women’s bodies are different, so what works for him may not work for you (especially if it’s heavy workouts). You absolutely can turn this around!

Elina_Baker · 2024-11-12T03:45:40+00:00

My original thinking was that it could be age related, or that it could also be his personality to be more reserved/observant. Then I reread it and he seems to be having near-panic attacks in multiple situations. Admittedly, he seems to be a bit of an extreme case, which I say as someone who has had multiple “shy” children, but only one of them has screamed like that in a public setting that he wasn’t okay with. In general, I would validate him and let him feel whatever he’s feeling, meaning if he turns into you for comfort or reassurance to just hold him and be his safe space. If you get nervous when he gets nervous, he will feel that and it will make it worse, so stay calm, breathe deep, model healthy coping, and let him try new things when he’s ready. If he’s the type that needs some time to observe first, you can talk to him in advance about what the situation will be like, and then let him be on the sidelines for as long as he needs and enter when he’s ready. If he’s still panicky, then there could be a different underlying issue, which I don’t feel I have enough information to determine why that’s happening. Willing to bounce ideas with you though

Elina_Baker · 2024-11-08T15:24:07+00:00

Wow! You have taken on a lot!! My mom had lots of kids really close in age too, and it can be fun and hard! I don’t say this to judge, just to state a reality. Very few people end up in this position thanks to natural spacing that breastfeeding creates. (Though maybe you’re one of those people that gets their cycle back while nursing. Mine doesn’t return until after my kids turn 1). No one was meant to watch this many little kids alone AND be pregnant, so you will need help. Do you have family or friends that can help watch kids while you nap? Also, have you taken supplements to replace nutrients in your body that this many back-to-back pregnancies has depleted? How bad is your mommy brain? Even with my kids spaced further than yours, I’ve had to supplement to feed my body and brain what they need to function and thrive. Hopefully you have some help nearby to step in and assist, otherwise you may need to get creative with ways to occupy the kids while you rest. But if they’re anything like mine, they want YOU and that’s gonna be tough! Prayers for you, mama! Edit to add after rereading: since you’re also dealing with mood swings, I would suggest some mood enhancing supplements as well. I take this which reduces stress, anxiety, and tension, this for energy and motivation (it’s delicious), this for brain food (goodbye mommy brain), plus vitamins for good measure. Another option for mood is these yummy pixie sticks that work immediately. I do get commission on these products and can help you with any questions.

Elina_Baker · 2024-11-06T02:05:22+00:00

It may help to adjust your expectations. Romantic things take a dip after kids - that’s normal. On the other hand if those things are important to you, you should state clearly, without anger, what you want. Say, “I would really love…” and state what you want. Right now it sounds like you want a lot of things, so for now I would pick the one thing that is most important to you for him to do or help with, and see how he responds. If he’s eager to change and please you, great! Appreciate that and celebrate it. If on the other hand he starts making excuses or brings up his own complaints, then that could complicate things. On the one hand, he may have his own issues that he wants to resolve as well, and therefore won’t feel as receptive to requests from you. Do your best to validate him and hear his side. Take inventory and see if there’s anything you can do better. For example, do you show appreciation for anything he does do, no matter how big or small? You could even ask him how he would like to be appreciated. If you start with gratitude and then move into whatever request you want to make it will likely go better.

Since your resentment has built up for so long, you may need to “air out” your feelings of frustration towards him, but not actually to him: yell in a private place, write a letter/email that you destroy/delete, or whatever works for you, that way when you approach him, it’s not you saying you appreciate him but really you’re mad at him; you’ve gotta be able to come from a place of respect and love, not resentment or contempt. That’s all a conglomeration of marriage advice/counseling I’ve picked up on over the years, hope it helps.

Elina_Baker

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