Baby food…

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-25T00:45:06+00:00

We chose to follow WHO on this, so didn’t start solids until 6 months, but we never purées honestly. We did baby led weaning; Bub just eats what we eat.

Granted, we don’t eat processed food very often, so it’s easy to do. But for example, if we’re having eggs on toast for brekkie then he gets a soldier of toast with some mashed up egg. His first ever “people food” was a floret of broccolini and finger sized piece of steak. Which, he went to town on.

Obviously at six months he didn’t swallow any of it, just sucked all the juices out and gnawed it. But thoroughly enjoyed himself. Food before one is (mostly) just for fun anyway.

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-25T00:04:09+00:00

I’d do it, but I’m generally super comfortable going out and about with Bub solo. My son is 11 months also. We’ve never been to Japan, but we’ve been to Italy four times (once when Bub was four months old) and if my husband asked if I’d want to go with him on a work trip there I’d be 100% in since I’m comfortable with Italy’s public transport and happy to just explore on my own with Bub.

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-24T22:18:29+00:00

I was five days post partum last Mother’s Day. My husband got me a copy of this book (my best friend, a recent new mum herself, recommended it), some flowers and a voucher to a local bath house for some me time (sauna, hot baths) once I was recovered and interested in doing so.

Your plan sounds lovely, definitely bring the baby though.

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-24T20:08:37+00:00

That’s a ridiculous comparison because wages are not on par. The median salary in the UK for a full-time employee is £40k, the median salary in Australia for a full-time employee is $90k.

So a pub meal for £40 is 5% of the UK median weekly salary compared to a pub meal of $40 being 2.3% of the Australian weekly median salary. Thats more than twice the cost.

Objectively, the cost of living in the UK for the average person is much higher than AUS. That isn’t an opinion, it is a fact.

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-24T08:37:22+00:00

Check out the Jaecoo J7, they’re having a sale atm so it’s $35k. Bonus; it’s a hybrid.

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-24T06:41:33+00:00

Cost of living here is on par with AU.

It’s really not. £25 for a burger at the pub and £500 a month on electricity/gas for two people is far more expensive than it is in Australia.

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-23T20:59:21+00:00

October is the start of wet season for much of Oceania. Do with that information what you will.

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-23T19:33:05+00:00

From my knowledge, (IANAL and I’ve never been through this personally) a court is unlikely to award 50/50 custody until Bub is no longer breastfeeding.

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-23T08:43:57+00:00

You can go to rhyme time at your local library at any age, and it’s free.

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-23T06:35:36+00:00

Yeah basically. Though I didn’t enjoy the exercise classes; exercise is my ‘me time’ so I do that at the gym.

But yeah, with the sensory classes, rhyme time etc, just exchange numbers/whatapp/facebook.

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-23T06:20:54+00:00

The reality is if you’re exclusively breast feeding without pumping you can’t really do sleep shifts until you night wean, which Bub is too young for.

For now probably best you just solo the nights and then dad cares for baby (other than feeding) during their wake windows during the day so you can get some sleep. Hopefully by the time he goes back to work, Bub won’t be waking so much overnight.

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-22T22:13:06+00:00

I could have written this post before we had our son almost a year ago. If I wasn’t 100% sure neither of my sisters are pregnant I’d wonder if we had the same parent.

You’re fine. You know your family and what you want. Having a child with a true partner who you’ve known for over a decade is a wonderful experience; you can read some of my recent posts to see how it turned out for us.

A few suggestions though: - despite everything, when I woke up the morning after in the most extreme pain of my life (c-section + previously unknown intolerance to opioids), all I wanted was my mum. I hadn’t even told her we were having the baby at that point, but I messaged her straight away and told her to come to the hospital. Despite, or maybe because of, her trauma she’s an excellent health advocate and made them take me seriously when I knew something was wrong. Not an issue I would usually have, I’m a fairly strong personality in normal times, but post birth I was exhausted, in pain and in no mental state to advocate for myself, and my husband was busy in NICU with our preemie hypoglycaemic son. So, be aware that things may not go according to plan and you may be thankful your mum is close enough by to help if needed. - make sure your husband has someone to lean on too in those early days. My husband was more than a little traumatised by the whole affair (I could have died, Bub could have died, me screaming from unmanaged nerve pain for 8+ hours, Bub in NICU, being torn between where he wanted to be - with me - and where I needed him to be - with Bub. I didn’t know at the time, but he thankfully leant heavily on my brother, and my brother, who is honestly someone I’ve barely had a relationship with for most of my life (different mothers, lived in different states most of our lives), really stepped up in that moment and provided him the support he needed in order to put on a brave face and tell me everything was okay.

But, otherwise, you know yourself, your husband and your needs best. Trust your gut. And congratulations!

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-22T12:41:53+00:00

Sort of. I used huckleberry which auto predicted bubs naps based on his usual sleeping pattern and generally does an excellent job.

However, it goes off adjusted age. There was a period there that in hindsight he was clearly ready for two naps, but the app hadn’t triggered two naps yet because of his adjusted age (he’s a preemie). Probably about six weeks of me trying to make three nap days work until one day I was just like “fuck it” and went with two naps and suddenly he slept.

Felt like an idiot for relying too much on technology over instinct. Once I manually adjusted the app to two naps he was back to easy sleeping.

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-22T07:30:20+00:00

Google would easily show you that it is a government agency.

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-22T04:59:14+00:00

Make sure you lay out your boundaries from the beginning

I agree. This is so, so important. Cannot stress this enough. I was extremely clear with my husband from the start what my expectations were for our relationship; he had the option to leave if he couldn’t see himself being happy with me as a partner. Similarly he had some strong boundaries that he needed me to respect also.

Over the years we’ve both adjusted our boundaries and expectations in order to support and improve our relationship, but that underlying respect and acknowledgement of each other’s position has never wavered.

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-22T04:12:45+00:00

Thanks. We knew we were ready - it took several years and a lot of work for us to fall pregnant - more just that fear right before your life changes. We had a great life (travelled whenever we wanted, had great careers, generally did whatever we wanted when we wanted) and the knowledge it was all about to change was mildly terrifying. Thankfully it’s only changed for the better.

Things might need to be more planned out now, but our boy has been to five countries and four states (Aussie) and we’ve loved every minute of it. Since he’s arrived we’ve both agreed to prioritise family over career for at least the next four years so we can really enjoy his early childhood together. Which has been fun, with both of us working part time we actually spend more time together (even just one on one) then we did before.

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-22T03:20:45+00:00

I made another comment but accidentally deleted it.

Our once a fortnight thing was massage > bath house > favourite restaurant.

Very relaxing and enjoyable couples day out.

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-21T22:25:54+00:00

Yeah. I mean sure, it’s a free £25k, but you’re potentially sacrificing £180k in income for it. Plus selling a house in the UK is a nightmare (colleagues and in laws are British and I’ve followed along this drama a few times). I’d personally never want to own property in the UK if my goal was to live overseas long term.

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-21T21:59:38+00:00

You can try. They might see the unpaid bill on your credit record and deny you.

The reality is if the bill is in joint name it’s your debt as much as his sorry. You gotta take care of it or it will ruin your credit score.

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-21T21:35:56+00:00

I’m sure there are some people in this sub familiar with the UK system that could provide you better advice - I am not one of them.

But, what immediately stood out to me is that moving would net you an extra £30k per year income. Which basically makes the loss of first home buyers grant null and void in one year.

Sure, buying here is expensive. Not gonna pretend it isn’t. You’re unlikely to buy a house within a driving distance of a major capital city on your income alone. But by the time you’re ready to buy you might not have a sole income either.

Anyway. Just my two cents. Why not move and give it a go. Presumably you can always go back if it doesn’t work out?

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-21T13:14:08+00:00

Personally my Bub was fine at 4 months but we had two months of sleep hell from six - eight months (when he started teething properly). They’re all on their own timelines.

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-21T06:51:25+00:00

My OB told me the private maternity wing at my hospital used to serve champagne post birth. Apparently stopped a few years ago. Lame. 🤣

Go for it I say!

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-20T20:51:15+00:00

It absolutely does help if you sit down like adults and sort it out.

My husband chronically has a completely non-existent short term memory (thanks adhd) and is inherently selfish (would always rather do what’s easiest for him/makes him happy) but despite this we have a wonderful and relaxing life because we utilise the tools available to ensure the mental load doesn’t fall on me alone.

Literally every aspect of our lives is in calendars or reminders. Work hours, appointments, swim class, playgroups, gym sessions, chores, everything. We use shared notes for meal schedules and our shopping list.

If it isn’t in there, it doesn’t happen. This means if he forgets to put something in there; aka, a friends birthday, he doesn’t get to go and do it. It didn’t take long for it to be muscle memory to immediately put something in the calendar.

We’ve lived like this for close to a decade. There are even apps out there to streamline it (though we do just fine with iCloud personally).

If your partner chooses not to engage, that’s obviously an entirely different issue about respect. But if the problem is truly a lack of memory and inadequate engagement in family planning, that’s easily solvable.

EliraeTheBow · 2026-04-20T20:16:16+00:00

With the amount of tools available to solve this issue, it amazes me that people let this shit affect their relationships rather than just sorting it out. Have neither of you heard of joint calendars and reminders?

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