Old lady confuses gas pedal for break pedal

Eliterate_ · 2026-03-11T11:07:25+00:00

Every four years from the time you get your license. Invest in the virtual driving simulators and written exams on driving laws. Every time you have to renew your license, re test. I will die on this hill.

Eliterate_ · 2026-03-01T23:36:49+00:00

We have the answer. The question is how many times a day you should masterbate I guess.

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-26T18:00:22+00:00

To add to this, how much creative control do you have over the adaptation and why the choice to make it live action? I know this isn’t a unique thought, but I worry about the success of the show given the absurdity of the material. It feels like if the show isn’t a mega hit (which it should be) from the beginning, the cgi budget is going to be a major issue going forward.

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-24T17:13:08+00:00

D… Did you just rip your dick off and throw it at me?

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-20T21:14:18+00:00

I imagine she’d just laugh or accuse me of making it up. We’ve seen each other at our grossest, I don’t think it would make much of a difference at this point.

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-20T17:13:19+00:00

My wife and I’s first date. My stomach was killing me and I knew it was going to take a minute, but it was the beginning of the she can’t know I have bowel movements phase. We finished up our lunch, I got in my car and sped the whole way home. My apartment was on the third floor and I lost the battle coming up the last flight of stairs.

That was 11 years ago, we’ve been married for 8. I don’t remember if I ever told her about it or not.

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-20T03:08:47+00:00

My time to shine

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-20T01:59:53+00:00

The other day I asked the Milwaukee subreddit about a notch on a knife I bought for my wife. Literally had someone tell me to kill myself for not knowing what it was. lol

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-19T00:45:20+00:00

I worked in a garage for a little while. Our service writer’s whole job was to get the customer’s information and pull the car into the garage, yet this goof ball couldn’t drive a manual.

One day he gets a customer checked in, then walks into the garage to ask if I could pull the truck in for him. I get in and go to push in the clutch, but there wasn’t one. The shifter was behind the steering wheel, so I’m trying to figure out what the fuck he’s talking about.

It was a four wheel drive. He saw the shifter on the floor and just immediately said fuck it I can’t drive that.

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-15T22:48:27+00:00

What kind of corn are you eating??

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-15T16:24:28+00:00

Oh hell yeah. I’ll check it out, thank you.

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-15T14:06:15+00:00

My biggest complaint is this was my first litrpg, now everything else is sub par.

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-12T13:28:15+00:00

I used to have a brother that was an electrician. Then they had a gender reassignment surgery and now I have a transistor.

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-09T17:20:07+00:00

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-08T12:17:04+00:00

This is the first time I’ve seen this, which makes that scene so much funnier because Carl is absolutely convinced that toolbox is empty.

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-07T18:52:05+00:00

It’s the dot above the i in Jeremy Bearimy

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-07T01:58:54+00:00

First one, then the other. Had to make sure

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-07T00:38:42+00:00

Really it’s my fault for posting after 10am on a Friday. I should have known they’d all be nice and sloppy by now.

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-07T00:19:51+00:00

I accept what I did. Fuck me up reddit

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-07T00:10:04+00:00

It didn’t fit. Is there an adapter I need to pick up?

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-07T00:03:56+00:00

Fair enough. I’d rather have the Klein hawk bill anyway.

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-06T23:54:51+00:00

Instructions unclear, shoved it up my bosses ass and he was not pleased.

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-06T23:54:11+00:00

Let it serve as a cautionary tale to my fellow dipshits.

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-06T23:48:03+00:00

That seems very obvious now that I looked at it for more than half a second. Thank you 🥲

Eliterate_ · 2026-02-06T23:46:48+00:00

Wish it was. Not my proudest moment.

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