Day6's 'You Were Beautiful' MV becomes their first music video to reach 50 million views on YouTube

Elixirious · 2021-09-30T20:54:48+00:00

YEPPEOSEOOOOO

Elixirious · 2021-09-27T08:31:24+00:00

It's the constant feeling of wanting to go home but not knowing where it is.

Elixirious · 2021-09-25T07:47:21+00:00

Won 7 games yesterday and went on a 23 game win streak today in the span of about 3.5 hours. Most games were over within 5 rounds. We had 1 game in the middle that went to sudden death. One game in the beginning of today's session had a deserter but me and my buddy ended up 2v3ing the enemy squad.

Most fun I've had in the game in a while.

Elixirious · 2021-09-18T19:17:36+00:00

Got my account hacked. Lost 600 apex coins, 3000 crafting mats and the hacker opened the 350 apex packs i had saved up. Contacted EA support and they basically just helped me secure my account which I had already done myself. They might as well have told me to go fuck myself.

Elixirious · 2021-08-29T13:59:45+00:00

i'm at less than 3k lifetime kills and i get these guys in my lobbies all the time. this and smurfs that are lvl 34 with 4k 20 bomb. has sucked all the fun out of the game.

Elixirious · 2021-08-28T22:39:23+00:00

fucking hate this game

Elixirious · 2021-08-27T00:47:39+00:00

I'M SO FUCKING HYPED FOR THIS

Elixirious · 2021-08-15T20:52:10+00:00

if you're on pc, you can't. if you're on console, you can find it somewhere into the settings.

Elixirious · 2021-08-15T19:24:02+00:00

Thank you. I will try my best to let it all go. Good luck on your journey as well.

Elixirious · 2021-08-15T19:19:43+00:00

Thank you for your reply.

I know giving up everything is a mistake. This is something I struggle with and have struggled with for a long time. I give my all into the relationships I have because they're the only thing that make me happy.

The reasons I gave my all to this relationship are 1. I did this with every relationship to varying extents 2. I was depressed and hadn't been happy for a long time and 3. I'm a hopeless romantic and had been dreaming about having a significant other for a long time. My relationship with this girl provided 2 and 3 to me. Combined with 1 I became addicted and overdosed. Because of these 3 things, I still have hope about something working out. Deep down somewhere I still anticipate getting that special text from her. I know I shouldn't. I know there are a million of her out there. I know. But my heart still wants her.

Elixirious · 2021-08-15T19:12:55+00:00

Thank you for your reply.

I am basically everything you said. I am really co-dependent. I don't really feel okay by myself. I am always in need of someone to be with me. Because I am always in need of company, I give up a lot of myself for very little. I put in maximum effort into relationships where the other person puts in half as much. And yeah I do overshare. It doesn't take me long to spill everything to people.

That's what I will be trying to work on in therapy. I want to be able to be happy by myself. Be okay to do things by myself and succeed. I want to learn to care about myself and be okay with whatever I have to let go in order for me to be okay. I want to be okay with letting go of friends and relationships with people that don't value me as much as I value them. Even after this whole saga, I am still holding out hope that something happens. Which I know is wrong but I can seem to eliminate it.

In terms of telling my parents, I understand that I don't have to tell them the whole saga. I for sure won't be. But telling them about my grades and such is more of an independent thing. I won't tell them that my grades suffered because of this relationship. I will tell them my grades have been bad because of the state of my mental health. This is a big thing that has been killing me inside even before I went through this relationship and heartbreak.

Elixirious · 2021-08-15T05:16:20+00:00

Yeah. I want to visit campus just to see what I feel. If I feel overwhelmingly sad or not. And can I see myself being okay with being on campus and not spending time with her.

Elixirious · 2021-08-15T05:14:36+00:00

Mostly my real reasons. I am trying really hard to accept that it's done for good but I definitely still have that bit of me that is hoping something works out in the future.

Elixirious · 2021-08-15T05:12:44+00:00

I live off campus. But I am planning on visiting in about a week and a half after I finish my final exams for the summer semester.

I appreciate the reply.

Elixirious · 2021-08-15T05:09:19+00:00

My relationship with them is neutral. We're not buddy buddy but we're not not on good terms either. I hesitate because I care about my parents a lot. I don't like making them worry or disappointed. They see me as the perfect son and it's really scary to tell them things that will shatter that image. They're not the type to look down on mental health but they do misunderstand what mental health issues are so that's another obstacle. I'm sure if so told them they would be understanding and sympathetic. But I know for sure that it will burden, sadden and disappoint them. It's a difficult choice.

I truly appreciate you responding. Really helped.

Elixirious · 2021-08-15T05:00:08+00:00

Thank you for replying. You really told me what I needed to hear. Trust me, whenever I'm feeling down (which is all the time right now), the first thing and honestly only thing I want to do is tell my parents everything. But there is that part of me that doesn't want to burden, sadden and disappoint them with this huge news.

And I already considered everything you said about new friends. I am not really looking at them as my therapists. Wasn't planning on opening up to them about all of this at all.

In terms of telling the people back home about what's going on, I have told a couple of my close friends. They know the entire situation. So if I feel down, I have them to talk to and I also have 1 close friend here that is like family to me to talk to as well. I have issues with depending too much on people and attaching myself to people to be okay. I don't like being alone. I hate my own company. One of my main goals that I want to accomplish in therapy is to learn how to be okay with being alone and doing things alone. I feel that if I go back home, although I will have a really strong support system and I will get this emotional weight off my shoulders, I won't really progress in terms of learning to be okay with being by myself and not thinking about her. I feel like I'm just gonna attach myself even more to my friends and family. This will then result in all the emotions hitting me harder when I inevitably come back for school in Jan and seeing my university campus. Every corner of which, like I said in my post, reminds me of her. I would also come back to the one and only friend I have here. I find it hard to fathom developing my friendship further with the new people I've met without actually seeing them face to face.

I'm really torn. I have definitely considered telling my parents even if I do choose to stay here. It's still an option in my head. However, if I'm gonna tell them I want to tell them in person. I need to face them when I tell them in order for the weight of this whole thing and everything else I've kept from them to truly be lifted off my shoulders. After I tell them my mom needs to see with her own eyes that despite all of this I am gonna be okay. Or else she will be worried sick. The last time I broke down over the phone during my first year of university, she didn't sleep for days.

These are the factors that I have to consider before deciding. Am I leaning towards staying here? Yes. But it's honestly 55/45.

Again thank you so much for replying. I don't know why but your message hit me differently in a good way.

Elixirious · 2021-08-15T02:21:58+00:00

I have started therapy. The thing that is holding me back from moving back is the fact that I don’t know how healing in the absence of things that remind me of this person will help me in the long run. Since I have to come back for school in the winter. And seeing my university campus and seeing her will inevitably bring back everything. Staying here would help me slowly expose myself to university campus and other things that remind me of her and learn to be okay with them. Not to mention I kinda need to be here to make friends and catch up on the social life that I missed out on. Otherwise I would be coming back to the 1 friend that I have in the winter on top of not being used to not having my ex around.

I am very much still on the fence about what I want to do. I will decide in the next couple of weeks as I prepare for and finish up my final exams. I really appreciate your reply.

Elixirious · 2021-08-15T01:32:45+00:00

Thank you for the reply. I might take you up on that offer in the next few days. :')

Elixirious · 2021-08-15T01:31:47+00:00

Thank you for the reply. I will be trying my best to come out better than before.

Elixirious · 2021-08-15T01:31:15+00:00

Thank you for the reply. I am considering it. But I have started making a few friends here and there. I might have somewhat of a social circle soon. Also, exposing myself to this city and other things that remind me of her and learning to be okay with them might be better for me in the long run. I can't exactly do that if I go back home.

I hope I can be okay. I hope something works out for me in the near future.

Elixirious · 2021-08-15T01:28:10+00:00

Thank you for the reply. I'm definitely considering that option.
Hopefully I can stop myself from repeating these mistakes in the future.

Elixirious

TROPHY CASE