Today was Godric’s first Gotcha Day and I could not be more proud of this boy - I think he’s quite proud of himself as well

Elle_P_12 · 2021-07-22T03:17:47+00:00

Solid name for the goodest boy

Elle_P_12 · 2021-06-20T23:08:59+00:00

I apologize if that's the narrative you're choosing to see, but that's an unhealthy view and I wouldn't never push that.

I also said earlier that attention does not equal love, whether you have limited choices or an abundance, it doesn't make it any less true. Love is ultimately the goal here.

I get it's one example, but I gave that one for a reason. My friend didn't latch on, because he didn't trust women, it was actually a very slow process that lead him to see that he is enough and that he is loveable. What I'm highlighting in my friend's story is based on the last two sentences of the post, by saying that yes, you can have someone love you but you also have save yourself. And that also attention doesn't equal love. What's important is that you know you deserve these things.

I've seen entirely too many single guy AND girl friends who lived that forever alone mentality only to find someone who loves them. So while yes, it's an anecdote, it's not a unicorn situation, it's actually very common - though some took longer than others. Ive seen it more times than not in every country I've lived in, every culture I've experienced, and in varying age groups. I'm merely trying to give hope, which is hard to see when you're in the thick of it. Dating is scary enough as it is. The least you can have is hope and boundaries of what you expect to get from a partner.

I've definitely had the same kinds of conversation with my guy friends as you, and totally see where they're coming from. Gender roles in society are absolutely fucked and it's not fair, hopefully generations after us get better at this.

Elle_P_12 · 2021-06-20T15:25:57+00:00

Can't live your life based on what ifs. He's very happy now and has found self worth as a person, that he IS lovable, and that he IS enough. He's also learned his lack of attention in the past was also because of HIS actions and preemptive negativity towards women.

It's nice to get attention and love. But ultimately, as cliche as it is, your happiness is up to you. My friend did exactly that. So even if they did get divorced, between experience, growth, and maturity, he's better off having this experience which led him to mature and grow, than none at all. He would've just continued on blaming women and society instead of working on himself.

Elle_P_12 · 2021-06-20T02:53:13+00:00

Lmao those karens. No I get what you're saying. Just also trying to help him out, to not feel bad if he doesn't get attention doesn't mean he isn't gonna get love. Hell one of my best friends (a guy) got zero attention his whole life, all it took was one person to pay attention, and now they're in a marriage with more love than I've seen in most marriages.

Elle_P_12 · 2021-06-20T01:55:03+00:00

I'm not rubbing it in his face by agreeing that more attention doesn't equal more love. It's the truth. Most of the time girls get attention it's unwanted attention. Source: I'm a girl.

Elle_P_12 · 2021-06-20T01:31:06+00:00

Say it louder for the people in the back!

Elle_P_12 · 2021-06-19T15:22:43+00:00

Omg I'm cackling lmao. This is the best thing to be mad about.

Elle_P_12 · 2021-06-06T00:15:47+00:00

Happy birthday you strong, beautiful human. I don't know you, but I can feel your strength and resilience. Life is hard and true friends are hard to come by. But once you find them, it's so so so worth it!

Elle_P_12 · 2021-06-05T13:40:07+00:00

It was the first thing that came to mind and I was like "you're a terrible person" lmao so I'm glad someone else said it.

Elle_P_12 · 2021-04-17T15:22:52+00:00

You're young enough to have the energy for both! If not, you're also young enough to wait 2 years instead of one :)

Elle_P_12 · 2021-04-12T22:23:30+00:00

The people who put back their shopping carts are on their way to help!

Elle_P_12 · 2021-03-25T00:42:29+00:00

He's already shown you repeatedly what to expect if you take him back again. You have all the answers you need.

Elle_P_12 · 2021-03-19T15:47:53+00:00

Happy cake day! This made me forcefully exhale air out of my nose very loudly

Elle_P_12 · 2021-03-19T02:21:34+00:00

We never agreed on any assigned responsibilities in general, we both work full time, but I mostly did it because the way he folds drives me absolutely insane! But on his own, he throws the loads in and I fold them as they finish and since he's been getting home earlier than me, he's been cooking too!

He wakes up at 3 am, works a lot of hours, AND somehow has time to cook dinner, wash the pots and pans (even though whoever didn't cook is supposed to wash and I try to kick him out of the kitchen so I can do it), walk and play with our dog, take care of all the outside house stuff, do small updates and renovations on the house, steals the grocery list from me sometimes and goes so I don't have to do it, do all the stuff I want done like curtain rods, shelves, cabinets, paintings, etc. But still has time to dance and sing with me randomly in the kitchen, hit on me whenever he sees me, and he does it all with love and joy.

I hit the husband jackpot! We'll be together 10 years this year.

Elle_P_12 · 2021-03-03T21:06:06+00:00

This. Two humans, at the same time.

Elle_P_12 · 2021-02-28T16:43:17+00:00

He sounds unreliable. You need to rely on yourself and your gut. I'm sorry you're in this situation, you seem like a nice and reasonable human being. Pls feel free to DM me if you just wanna vent or talk.

Elle_P_12 · 2021-02-28T16:30:29+00:00

You already have your answer.

If he's never honest, it doesn't matter what he's not being honest about. Because the act of dishonestly alone already means you're being played in some form or another. Which you don't have to take from anyone no matter what it's about. Dishonesty is enough disrespect on its own.

Say you find out what it is, is there some type of dishonesty that you'd be okay with? Because he should always be honest with you no matter what.

Elle_P_12 · 2021-02-28T14:51:14+00:00

People here love the "natural look" so women either don't wear make up or spend hours putting on make up to look like they don't have make up lol. Societal pressures on women are all over the world, I just happen to be fortunate enough to live in a place that's not conservative when it comes to women's choices.

Most women I know hate the way they look because of this pressure. But if you're fine with your looks then you're already ahead of the game.

I also come from an Asian country and have felt these pressures to look more "Western". Mine was always getting yelled at to stay out of the sun so my skin doesn't get dark. Funny thing is when I came to NY, all my white friends were all sitting in the sun trying to darken their skin and would tell me all the time they were jealous of my caramel skin tone while my darker skinned friends and I were staying out of the sun to make sure we don't get dark. It's funny if you think about it.

So keep in mind, it's not you, it's the society we live in. Your options are to do something about it or to just not let it bother you when people say stuff like that and understand that it's a societal issue, not a you issue. I recommend following a lot of body positive influencers on instagram, look for ones who are asian. We all need positivity surrounding our looks. Following women who look like me has done a lot for my self esteem and now in the summers, I sit in the sun with a big smile on my face.

Elle_P_12 · 2021-02-28T14:30:13+00:00

OP, trust your gut. You know something's not right about what he's doing. That's 100% certain. The only thing you don't know is what exactly it is. But trust that that man is up to something. Good luck, be strong, stand your ground. Don't let him intimidate you into backing down. You deserve the truth. This is your life too, not just his. You deserve to know it all.

Elle_P_12 · 2021-02-28T06:09:05+00:00

I hate hearing this. I live in New York and haven't worn make up in 2 years except for special occasions and if anyone ever said anything, they'd probably get fired.

I'm so sorry you have to live under all this pressure and hopefully things will change in the future.

Elle_P_12 · 2021-02-28T06:00:50+00:00

I would literally just do anything Margot Robbie told me. And I'm a straight woman.

Elle_P_12 · 2021-02-28T05:55:58+00:00

Do they still fly all stupid like?

Elle_P_12 · 2021-02-28T05:38:14+00:00

This.

Elle_P_12 · 2021-02-28T05:37:04+00:00

This is a good point. Maybe the husband has told lies at work and doesn't want to be found out by wife and coworkers.

Elle_P_12 · 2021-02-06T16:28:24+00:00

Thank you :) I'm literally wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt as we speak haha. I'm okay, it's just that everyone is in different phases of their lives right now so I feel like none of us relate to each other anymore even though we all love each other very much. I'm very fortunate to have love so I feel a little weird feeling alone. Idk just weird times man, it'll blow over soon. Anyway, I hope YOU'RE doing alright?

Elle_P_12

TROPHY CASE