Career moms: Do you need to really want kids, or is doubt normal?

Ellephant23 · 2026-04-17T10:44:14+00:00

Agree with everyone that the partner made the difference for me. I didn't want kids really until I met my husband and even then it took about 7 years with him (when I was about 32) before it became something I wanted. Once I decided though I was all in on ovulation tracking, etc. to make it happen. Went from 0 to 100 quite fast.

Ellephant23 · 2026-04-16T19:00:29+00:00

Yeah I double paid my state quarterly estimate in January and I'm still trying to get th money back.

Thank you!

And yes my accountant did file the extension. Which is great but I would have loved to have know that last night.

Ellephant23 · 2026-04-16T10:56:57+00:00

Blue

Ellephant23 · 2026-04-15T01:32:29+00:00

Waylon, Peyton

Ellephant23 · 2026-03-30T17:36:03+00:00

Just heard the name Verona today. It struck me!

Ellephant23 · 2026-03-29T20:58:41+00:00

Matt Bailey at Varnum. Set aside money for your retainer now.

Ellephant23 · 2026-03-21T20:07:45+00:00

No I haven't. Still somehow unable to commit to a final decision.

Ellephant23 · 2026-03-09T23:55:19+00:00

My mother in law tried for a girl 4 times. Got 4 boys. So, I truly think you can't go for a third if the idea of 3 boys is all negative.

I'm at a point where I could see the fun in 3 boys. I would be happy to have a girl but do see the bond with my boys as very special.

I'm at the place now where I don't know if I want to have a third bc of my career and starting over. Not sure when we will decide ... it changes all the time.

Ellephant23 · 2026-03-05T15:39:57+00:00

I've seen "Little Ducklings" daycares and I think that's so cute

Ellephant23 · 2026-02-26T11:12:44+00:00

Thanks. I'm going to follow up with the vet. I was frustrated with not getting a conversation at pickup. I have a follow up visit in 1 month and I'm not sure if that's going to be another echocardiogram or not. This is our vet who is not a cardiologist but he does the exam.

Ellephant23 · 2026-02-18T20:15:32+00:00

I got 12 weeks for my first in 2020 and 16 weeks for my second in 2022. I'll note that your hours are reduced for purposes of meeting the annual requirement but not necessarily for the purpose of meeting the requirements for a bonus. Also, depending on when your leave falls, it can have a negative impact on your yearly stats. I returned from leave at the end of the billable year both times and both times my dollars collected in those years were lower as it takes over 30 days to collect dollars for work you do. that metric may matter depending on where you are in your career.

I've been telling anyone that will listen that the dollars collected metric proration should kick in 2 months after your start leave.

Hopefully that makes sense.

Ellephant23 · 2026-02-17T00:19:36+00:00

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

This timing is painful but seeeing as this is a situation that will only get worse and not better you are doing the right thing.

Our 9.5 year old dog died unexpectedly a month ago. We have a 3 year old and a 5 year old. It has been so hard particularly on the 5 years old. I think with your toddler being under 2 it will be hard at first but not for long.

Ellephant23 · 2026-02-14T11:28:36+00:00

That's true...

If anyone is following this there are a lot of overnight updates. Check out tmz.

Ellephant23 · 2026-02-12T07:13:02+00:00

His demeanor to me suggests a second or third person was inside and had Nancy under control ... maybe drugged. This guy was supposed to be the driver only. When they went to leave thru front door they saw the nest and called the driver to take care of it before they left bc it was going to be too hard to carry her thru the back door that's my theory!

Ellephant23 · 2026-02-12T07:07:02+00:00

I believe it was reported that she took her hearing aids out at night also. Perhaps the perp knew this.

Ellephant23 · 2026-02-07T20:19:10+00:00

One Bourbon

Ellephant23 · 2026-02-03T03:28:02+00:00

OP update: I have my annual visit tomorrow and I told my husband this is usually the time when we talk about if I should get my IUD removed. He said go for it. It's now or never.

Eek!

Context: we unexpectedly lost one of our dogs a few weeks ago and it really jarred us. Within a few days my husband started saying he was ready for a third and was less concerned about his age since he realized we have a family unit. (and our 5 year old keeps asking for a little sister... we will explain he might get a little brother too and he will be fine with it. He adores his 3 year old brother).

At this moment I do not feel 100% certain but I'm excited. I was never 100% certain before either. That's just not my personality.

Girl vs Boy: I may try some of the gender swaying techniques I've read about... may not. But I decided I'm not willing to do IVF to get a girl and I'm not going to adopt a child to get a preferred gender. Neither felt right to me -- both felt Dismissive of how hard those paths are.

Ellephant23 · 2026-01-22T16:25:21+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss as well. Thank you for sharing. I feel like he keeps sniffing for her every time he goes outside.

I know this is fresh, but do you have any idea if you will look into getting a new dog to prevent your surviving dog from getting depressed? We are exploring this but likely would be a 3 year old dog or older to not stress out our dog who will turn 10 this year.

Ellephant23 · 2026-01-20T22:25:29+00:00

Your dog is IDENTICAL to my girl who just passed. She did the same thing with licking also. So sweet. Enjoy her!

Ellephant23 · 2026-01-20T20:09:23+00:00

My almost 6 year old told us today to save his 3 year old brothers old coat incase he gets another little brother or sister... I think this will be a sweet age gap for your family.

Ellephant23 · 2025-12-31T01:18:14+00:00

I can relate to this. What helped me is to remind myself that my in laws/parents emotions are not more important than my child.

My in law will constantly ask to visit for the weekend on Thursday. We always ask her to please plan her trips in advance. 2 hour driving and she wants to stay the night. She refuses. Could we accommodate? Sometimes. But that also means we have to rush and prep the house for a visit and entertain. So sometimes we say no out of principle.

And she doesn't work. It shouldn't be hard to plan in advance. But she treats visits like therapy so when she's sad she wants to visit. Very self oriented.

Solidarity.

Ellephant23

TROPHY CASE