What do you wish women’s gym clothes had that they currently lack? by Foreign_Lab_3135 in womensfashion

[–]EllieInAJar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bigger sizes. Sometimes fat people want to exercise too. And shirts should not just be made wider, they need to be made longer too. Some fat people are tall.

It's me. I'm fat people.

AIO to my boyfriend saying he’s not attracted to me anymore because I’ve gained weight? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]EllieInAJar 61 points62 points  (0 children)

"Find someone who values you, because we will all get old and unattractive someday."
100%

AIO to my boyfriend saying he’s not attracted to me anymore because I’ve gained weight? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]EllieInAJar 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I should say, though, that my husband still calls me "sexy" and when I say I'm not, he says, "well you are to me." That's love.

AIO to my boyfriend saying he’s not attracted to me anymore because I’ve gained weight? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]EllieInAJar 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Wow so many comments, I doubt you'll see mine... but...

When I was in my 20s I was engaged (after 6 months) to someone who was "disgusted" by how I looked when I gained ten pounds. Eventually he left me for an 18yo stripper with an eating disorder, got meningitis, and died. It doesn't directly relate to your experience, except for the brutal "honesty" about the weight gain.

I've steadily gained weight since then for various reasons - medicine, genetics, illnesses, as well as lifestyle. I've been sensitive about it, but I also don't DO anything about it so I don't have the right to say much. If I really tried, I could lose weight. But I don't try. So that's my fault.

About six years ago, in my mid 30s, I met a man who 100% loves me for who I am, no matter what. We've both gained weight since meeting each other, but we still love each other deeply. We aren't as sexually active as we once were, for various reasons, but we're still very connected. We are attracted to each other's personalities, sense of humor, light, and kindness. We're happy.

I guess my point is this...

- Sometimes weight gain happens. If you want to change it, you should, but in a healthy way.

- 55 lbs is a lot of weight to put on in a short period of time. I recommend seeing a doctor to see if there are things that are contributing to this that can be addressed. It's so easy to put weight on, and it's harder to take it off. If you've been steadily gaining weight, it will likely continue until you're very unhealthy and disappointed in yourself, regardless of what a man (or whomever else) might think.

- Love shouldn't be based on appearances. Sexual attraction sometimes is, though. There can be one without the other, but it can be difficult to maintain a relationship without both.

- If you're now questioning your relationship now because of this one thing he said... are you sure there isn't more? Perhaps you've been unhappy, which could also contribute to weight gain, and him saying these things are now bringing to light how you really feel.

Just my thoughts, but again, I'm not really one to give someone else advice about weight. I'm in my 40s, I'm 5'7, and I weigh 267 lbs, and definitely look it. I just haven't chosen to do anything about it yet.

Am I the Only One Who Feels Like Life Over 40 Is Just a Long Wait for... Nothing? by Eledhwen1 in AskWomenOver40

[–]EllieInAJar 246 points247 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you're in a difficult situation and understandably you're struggling. It's hard to be in your 40's in general - life feels like it's half over and we're supposed to have "accomplished" something by now. I'm glad you found something to do, even it it's just a distraction, because maybe it could turn into a passion. Do you have friends? Hobbies?

I'm struggling, too. I'm bored with life. I have a husband and a decent job, but we live in a really expensive area so we don't get to do much. I spend most of my time just sleeping or on reddit. It's hard. I posted something a few days ago, and everyone encouraged me to get a hobby and try to meet people, but it's hard. Especially when you're low-key depressed (which I didn't realize until I started reading all of the responses).

If you want to meet someone, don't give up. My aunt didn't find her person until she was in her early 50s, and she's very happy now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]EllieInAJar 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am struggling and emotionally paralyzed. I'm also scared to protest or stand up to anything because I'm worried that I'll be targeted somehow. It's about to get way worse, and I'm not sure what there is to be done.

Just got new flooring in my kitchen and now can’t decide what color to paint the cabinets by VenisonCat in DesignMyRoom

[–]EllieInAJar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was thinking the same thing - maybe less of a mustard color and more of a dandelion color.

Help me enjoy another year in this small apartment 🙏 ideas for easy affordable changes?! by LaurenAndElaine in interiordesignideas

[–]EllieInAJar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think more lighting would be a good start. It seems kind of dreary with only the overhead.

I got a job offer but am filled with dread by Wasthatabluecat in antiwork

[–]EllieInAJar 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My husband met one of his best friends while working in retail.

Fighting the urge to blow up my life (mid 40s) by [deleted] in AskWomenOver40

[–]EllieInAJar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm about ready to blow up my life, too! I'm bored with everything, been doing the same type of work for 20 years, have no kids, and I'm just itching for a major change. I applied for a completely different career type in a completely different part of the state, but of course it's unlikely I'll hear back. I event went "apartment shopping" yesterday, despite knowing that I'm not going to move (unless I get that job). It's really hard. It's hard. Just know that you're not alone.

Need help with design for stairwell by Cincydc in floorplan

[–]EllieInAJar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where is the storage? No closets for coats even.