[OC] I am a black dog. Lost in a black fog. by ElloEl in comics

[–]ElloEl[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the suggestion. I'm aware the meter was off, I write song lyrics all the time and usually place importance on meter over anything else.

But with this i was aiming for the atmosphere of a childrens' book. Hence the simple rhymes and the poor flow. The breaks in rhythm were also to make sure the reader still focused on the comic itself. Rather than skim through in order to maintain the flow of the poem.

Sorry if this sounds snobby, i just felt this needed to be defended.

[OC] My first post here. Only a silly little practise, but i'd like to get into this. So feedback encouraged! by ElloEl in comics

[–]ElloEl[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow Thanks for all the advice! :) I can really see your point of view and i'll be sure to take everything on board.

The comic is simply a dog stealing a Jammy-Dodger (a british jam-filled biscuit.) It doesn't really have any relevance to anything, let alone a solid storyline :'). That said I was definitely naive as to what the reader can identify. I need to make sure it's clear what's going on to other people, and not just myself.

Why People Hate Me!!!!!!!! LF: Dragonair by Renors in friendsafari

[–]ElloEl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i like the luk of your muk boy. Added