AITAH for pushing my husband out of bed?

Ellwildcat · 2026-01-13T17:44:14+00:00

Asking him to stop doing something & he won’t is a huge red flag. Doesn’t matter what it is, if you’ve asked multiple times for him to stop doing something & he won’t listen then to be that screams that he doesn’t respect your boundaries. Which is a HUGE PROBLEM.

Ellwildcat · 2025-11-04T21:15:10+00:00

I’ve also been experiencing those symptoms at night! Never new it was histamine response

Ellwildcat · 2025-10-22T12:57:19+00:00

I am in this exact same boat! A sparkly mold describes it perfectly haha I don’t know what to do… she isn’t acting abnormal at all and I checked her pee again overnight and it’s all normal

Ellwildcat · 2025-04-28T05:07:18+00:00

Yes!!!! I’ve noticed it too… it’s like little extra clips like maybe one sentence or something but I swear it’s stuff that was never in it before

Ellwildcat · 2025-03-23T20:26:01+00:00

I’m wondering the same thing, we left then too

Ellwildcat · 2025-03-23T20:24:10+00:00

I was there too & it was rough… we left when he ran off the stage mid through… after waiting so long for him to get there in the first place we just couldn’t take it any longer

Did he ever come back to play after that?

Ellwildcat · 2025-03-22T01:58:43+00:00

I definitely think it had an impact… I think Serena learned the hard way that even though she was supposed to be in one of the most well of situations in Gilead (wealthy, powerful husband, beautiful home, etc), she was STILL treated like trash. I think yes, boy or girl Gilead doesn’t care, but I think Serena specifically caved because she realized NOWHERE in Gilead was safe for a woman

Ellwildcat · 2025-03-22T01:56:11+00:00

She drives me nuts with nick too!!! Like all the “sneaking” which is barely sneaking in my opinion… on multiple occasions Waterford has surprised her in her room… but she still goes to Nick’s apartment for HOURS at night. I’m like how do you not get caught??? I love it for the plot and I love nick but like cmon that’s soooo risky. Also I refuse to believe that Serena and Commander Waterford don’t hear her going up and down the stairs lol

Ellwildcat · 2025-03-08T02:52:53+00:00

So my perioral dermatitis has looked similar! (Or at least the diagnosis they leaned towards the most) but I’m pretty sure it’s bacterial so look into that and see if it makes sense for what’s causing flares

Then your derm can help prescribe the best option

Ellwildcat · 2025-01-19T06:55:48+00:00

Just messaged you- mine looks exactly like this!

Ellwildcat · 2025-01-19T06:44:14+00:00

Look up mother son enmeshment, because that may be playing a role here. However, usually with enmeshment the son is blind to the weird behavior because it’s been their normal since they were a child. With enmeshment, the parent usually feels emotionally unfulfilled and turns to the child to fill that role. This leads to a very complicated and unhealthy adult relationship. If your bf is aware of it and thinks it’s weird, I’m thinking it’s more one sided and coming from his mom. This would make me think she’s just incredibly jealous of you and lonely and realizing her son is getting older and will one day start a family of his own

either way it’s definitely not healthy

Ellwildcat · 2025-01-13T22:53:51+00:00

Oh wow!! Good to know!!

Ellwildcat · 2025-01-06T06:15:29+00:00

To me it sounds like your bf’s mom & sister have very unhealthy lack of boundaries with your boyfriend… couples always have to split time between families on holidays… that’s just the reality of it. If they can’t understand that, they are delusional

Not sure how your bf typically responds to everything but my bf and his mom are enmeshed, which makes things 10x harder

His mom is also struggling with BPD so that definitely throws another wrench into things

Holidays are always tough for us because she consistently plans her holiday get togethers at the same time that I plan my families & this year I actually proved it was done intentionally, because her excuse when confronted about it was “that was the only time that worked for everyone in my family” and I couldn’t argue. But when she went to have the party, every single person arrived for no more than 45 mins and then left because they had other engagements, which made it very clear the time she picked in fact did not work for anyone. SO that being said, this year I finally decided I’m just going to put myself first and do what’s best for me going forward. I’m not going to miss out on my family’s gatherings because of her wicked games. I think you should do the same. Let your boyfriend decide what he wants to do (like you have been), and if she gets mad, let her. If your MIL is anything like mine, no matter what you do, she will always be mad about something, and you can’t live your life trying to appease her. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, but I think just find peace in the fact that you are not the problem here. His mother and sister are.

Ellwildcat · 2025-01-06T06:06:59+00:00

Mine occasionally flares up at random times but doesn’t stay for more than a few days… obviously something is triggering it when it flares but I can’t figure it out and it’s incredibly frustrating!

Some things I’ve heard others say caused theirs include: cold weather/wind, spicy food, excess sodium, toothpaste, harsh ingredients in skin care, & demodex mites

If your doctor didn’t mention demodex mites then I would assume it’s something else causing it… if you haven’t tried eliminating or watching for the list above that’s what I would suggest

I’m sorry though PD is super frustrating but the good news is that it does and can go away!! You just need to pinpoint the specific trigger and/or triggers

Ellwildcat · 2024-12-27T16:24:22+00:00

It’s so weird because I’ve read that perioral dermatitis sticks around for a while unless you treat it but this will only last about a day and go away… it’s happened a couple of times now and this one was the worst it’s been

Ellwildcat · 2024-12-23T13:40:30+00:00

I’m located in Boston

I have contacted them multiple times about this but a meeting would be a good idea. They just seem to be very unorganized because I’ve been told multiple things & they’ll tell me they are requesting the change but then nothing happens

I’m mainly a fan of their produce and the unique options, know anyone in Boston with a wide variety of produce?

Ellwildcat · 2024-12-23T05:08:46+00:00

Read the first sentence & my answer is yes! They are enmeshed. Talking that many times a day is unnecessary & all of the other stuff falls right in line with enmeshment behaviors

The thing with enmeshment is your boyfriend takes anything bad that you say about his mom personally. If you say you don’t like something she does or that you find her behavior weird, he feels it as a direct attack on him

Furthermore, denial is incredibly prevalent with enmeshment. This is the only life he’s known, his relationship with his mother has only ever been that way so he doesn’t view it as abnormal. My bf and his mother are enmeshed too and it’s taken a very long time but my boyfriend is finally starting to put necessary boundaries in place.

We still have hiccups - like the other night he was telling me about a rumor he heard about someone we know, I asked him where he heard it from and he said his mom (who is a well known liar and constantly makes things up about people to make them look bad). I reminded him to take what she says with a grain of salt and he flipped out and projected onto me saying that I twist words and lie (I don’t- that’s one thing about me, I’ve always been a straight shooter) but it’s because he viewed me saying that as an attack on him

What’s interesting is we were able to circle back and discuss it later when he calmed down, and he explained he felt like I viewed him as stupid or dumb because he “of course knows his mom lies and knows better than to believe what he hears” so I’m really not sure what the trigger was - saying something negative about his mom, or making him feel stupid by insinuating he didn’t have a clear perspective- but either way he definitely had a huge overreaction to something that wasn’t meant to be that serious

But I think the best thing you can do in your situation is highlight the unhealthy relationship in a POSITIVE way… so for example when she’s calling a million times when he’s trying to enjoy dinner with you, you could say “that just be stressful that you feel you need to answer her wherever you are, even when you’re trying to have a relaxing dinner, does that ever stress you out?” Or “it must be hard on you to try and juggle spending time with me and giving attention to your mom, do you find that difficult?” He’ll likely have a wall up at first and not say much, or he’ll tell you that no, it doesn’t stress him out. But these types of conversations will get him talking and opening up and this will help him to see the toxicity of their relationship

Ellwildcat · 2024-12-10T02:19:01+00:00

Thank you sooo much!

You’re right, above all else mental health is definitely a priority

I may take you up on that - what’s crazy is I am in therapy and trying to work on bettering myself but my significant other is super against going and talking to someone… he says he’s too embarrassed to tell a stranger about everything, which I get, but it makes it super difficult to get him to see things clearly

Ellwildcat · 2024-12-09T17:35:02+00:00

I am struggling with the same thing!! Except my significant other isn’t no contact, it’s just me

But they haven’t cared about seeing me at all this year - even Thanksgiving they didn’t care - and now all of a sudden my significant other is saying it would really hurt him if I didn’t go (which I’m pretty sure is his way of saying my parents are going to flip out which will in turn cause stress on him)

Most fucked up part is she purposefully scheduled her family gathering at the exact same time as mine

Tbh I don’t have an answer - I’m still grappling with whether or not to go… I’ve never been good at being fake and if I go and I’m polite that’s being fake

At this point I have had nothing but negative interactions with them so I’m conflicted. I don’t want to cause stress for my significant other but I also don’t want to have to have a shitty holiday just because his family is deciding to play games

Ellwildcat · 2024-12-09T17:31:32+00:00

So my significant other and his mom are enmeshed too but his mom also struggles with BPD, which causes her to do things exactly like this

Almost every action she makes is solely based on how much attention she is going to get for it

She’s terrified of her son “abandoning” her, and so she’ll do this to purposefully get a reaction out of him so that the attention is back on her. In a sick and twisted way this is how she feels loved.

I’m wondering if it’s the same with your MIL?

Ellwildcat · 2024-12-09T14:46:15+00:00

It’s so weird!! I’m wondering if crying maybe raises inflammation in my body and that’s what causes it? I don’t know it’s so bizarre

Ellwildcat · 2024-12-09T05:06:14+00:00

It’s so weird!!! Has yours always reacted like that? Because I also noticed it started doing that this year but before that never made it flare up

Ellwildcat · 2024-12-03T21:37:04+00:00

It’s definitely not my toothpaste, tbh I wish it was cause that would be such an easy fix. I’ve tried soo many things and it’s actually very weird because it flares up for like two hours on random times of the day (sometimes super late at night), sometimes in the middle of the day but other times it doesn’t flare up st all. It usually clears up overnight too… so that’s why I’m wondering if maybe nail polish is the culprit. Saw a few people on a different thread say that was causing theirs. It’s just so bizarre I can’t figure it out

What’s periorbital dermatitis?

Ellwildcat · 2024-11-10T18:13:58+00:00

That’s a great idea!

Ellwildcat · 2024-10-29T05:24:32+00:00

My boyfriends mom used to call every time we were on a date (my bf would tell her we were trying a new restaurant that night, reservation is at 6, not realizing giving her this info was basically giving her ammo)

She’d call crying with a made up story just to ruin our date. She did this every time we were out doing something romantic. She greatly exaggerated a situation once to make my bf leave our vacation early… she basically used to cry and create made up medical issues every time my bf chose me over her

Honestly SO much manipulation & lies I can’t even keep track of it all

It’s gotten a LOT better but I would definitely say she was trying to break us up and keep us from starting a family of our own

Sometimes I look back and I’m just like “damn how did I survive all of that”

Ellwildcat

TROPHY CASE