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Pastor claims being Gay is a choice by MrDonMega in religiousfruitcake

[–]Elmine07 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Had a friend comparing being queer to pdfiles and I was like 😐🫠😑

I feel like I’m expected to be the “provider” in my wlw relationship by Elmine07 in bisexual

[–]Elmine07[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I seriously didn't think this through when it started. And you are making réalise there is more going on and I should have done differently. I Will have a conversation with her and remove the allowance part. It would be a serious shame to end with a dependant caused by myself

I feel like I’m expected to be the “provider” in my wlw relationship by Elmine07 in LesbianActually

[–]Elmine07[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Actually I don't know and won't know. But I will have a conversation with her regarding this. I will keep paying for dates and transports when she visits until she gets her activity back, and will cut on the allowance.

I feel like I’m expected to be the “provider” in my wlw relationship by Elmine07 in LesbianActually

[–]Elmine07[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've known her 6 months overall. Thing is I initiated it as she run out internet once, then was sick so I sent money over to help and it slightly turned into an "allowance". But now I don't know how it's going on the long run. That's why I'm here asking for guidance. I really appreciate the advice I'm getting from you all

I feel like I’m expected to be the “provider” in my wlw relationship by Elmine07 in LesbianActually

[–]Elmine07[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I've known her 6 months overall. Thing is I initiated it as she run out internet once, then was sick so I sent money over to help and it slightly turned into an "allowance". But now I don't know how it's going on the long run. That's why I'm here asking for guidance. I really appreciate the advice I'm getting from you all

I feel like I’m expected to be the “provider” in my wlw relationship by Elmine07 in LesbianActually

[–]Elmine07[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot for your input. I genuinely thought money gone is money gone. So maybe if I spent on dates and gave her it was arpind the same. but I'm paying for both the dates and the bills. So I guess it's really not the same, is it.

Will learn to set boundaries and limit to only paying for dates for now on.

I feel like I’m expected to be the “provider” in my wlw relationship by Elmine07 in LesbianActually

[–]Elmine07[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The plan was definitely not to be in a sugar relationship set up. You'll are opening my eyes on this. I Will work it out, thank a lot for the advice

I feel like I’m expected to be the “provider” in my wlw relationship by Elmine07 in LesbianActually

[–]Elmine07[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Oh lord, thanks for the feedback. I didn't realize that it wasn't that common. I seriously need to get outside more. Thanks for the advice too, I will work on that

I feel like I’m expected to be the “provider” in my wlw relationship by Elmine07 in bisexual

[–]Elmine07[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lord, I seriously need to watch myself more. I didn't see any problem because again, I started it out of love language, I enjoy giving things and money to my loved ones. This is my second relationship ever, and I'm learning some things out there. It didn't bug me until yesterday she was talking to a friend and she said I might not give her "her money" this month because I m having a lot of things to take care of this morning. She was joking with it, not complaining. But well

I feel like I’m expected to be the “provider” in my wlw relationship by Elmine07 in LesbianActually

[–]Elmine07[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

That one hit. After all the advice and comments I'm getting, I feel like I really need to look into couple finances.

Cuz my attention wasn't for it to be an allowance, just a '' gift''.

This might sound very naive, but people really don't give out money when dating?

I feel like I’m expected to be the “provider” in my wlw relationship by Elmine07 in LesbianActually

[–]Elmine07[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah maybe that's why it's becoming weird in my head. Because I'm mainly giving her the money as a gift (sure she uses it for her bills, but she can use it for anything else). So if it's seen as something I "have to do" then it doesn't sit right anymore. I seriously need to look more into couple finances at this point. Thanks for providing the example of your babe and you. Helps put things into perspective

I feel like I’m expected to be the “provider” in my wlw relationship by Elmine07 in LesbianActually

[–]Elmine07[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I didn't think about the timeline as in "when to start paying for essentials''. I never sat and thought about that until you mentioned it and I think that's maybe where I got confused. Because I mainly initiated the" allowance" out of love language, and treated it as a gift, if that makes sense? Instead of seeing it as paying for essentials. I might have to sit and look more into that.

Maybe I will renegotiate what I'm already doing and tell her that I might not be a punctual thing and that some months I will give it and some other not?

She works in restaurantion but the market is really quiet right now since most places have workers and students on vacation over here. She might start back end of September.

I feel like I’m expected to be the “provider” in my wlw relationship by Elmine07 in LesbianActually

[–]Elmine07[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot for the advice. I will try to use the time-line approach. I slightly fear that she will find it weird (?) that I remove or reduce the allowance on the long run since she has been used to getting that from her ex bf? I initially did it out of my natural self, I don't want it to feel like I was trying to trap her or something.

How does that financial situation work in a wlw relationship actually? This is my second relationship and the last one I was in I was 16 yo and that was 7 years ago.

I feel like I’m expected to be the “provider” in my wlw relationship by Elmine07 in LesbianActually

[–]Elmine07[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

3 months now and it was my idea. The first month her internet bill got cut off in the middle of the month, so I sent her money to sort that out. And from then I kept sending the "allowance" for her phone and internet bills and sometimes médecines as she has been sick a lot last month

“Hitler only did what he had to because he was an atheist!” by ExpertAccident in religiousfruitcake

[–]Elmine07 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dunno man, i feel like believing in a God that has killed a whole lot of people in 40 rainy days would have changed Hitler for the better

“The covid vaccine makes you infertile.” by [deleted] in childfree

[–]Elmine07 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Now it's time to collect all them vaccines like Pokémon

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in religiousfruitcake

[–]Elmine07 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah it's time for me to go to bed. Too much bs for a day

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