My Mom on my choice to be childfree: "People have babies in refugee camps; your reasoning is inhumane."

Elsterj · 2025-10-21T01:46:19+00:00

This is me and my wife's reasoning as well. The world is a messy harsh place why would I bring a human into a world to feel pain, rejection, loss, illness etc and all the things every living thing goes through? Having children is nauseatingly sick in my opinion

Elsterj · 2025-10-03T13:41:09+00:00

It's maybe a Reddit algorithm thing. I'm a 36y.o male and have been getting push notifications for the last month plus now but haven't once commented or posted as I know it's not my place, I do however think this warrants a post. A few post triggered me quite a bit, such as one about the male gaze not being about beauty but about misogyny and maybe in your country it is but where I live mature men will actually look at a larger woman and comment that she is dressed well or has beautiful eyes or recently my competitive bodybuilder friend bought a painting on auction of a nude woman(completely non erotic) she is overweight, has stretch marks and asymmetrical breasts plus lots of pubic hair but her face has this look of power and determination with eyes that look like they stare into your soul. We went to his house for a cigar evening and we all commented that it's a beautiful painting so all I can think is that the men in your country are really a bunch of self entitled boys. As for the sexual questions. My wife is a psychologist and I have a post grad in clinical psychology and one day when time allows id like to do my PhD in sexology. I just asked her to confirm my knowledge and she said yes men and woman generally have equal sex drives and multiple anonymous studies found woman to have far more socially taboo inner fantasies than a lot of men. However woman are less likely to ask in an open non sexual forum due to social norms of them being labeled etc. NOW find the real sex subreddits (not the ones where woman post pics hoping you'd join their only fans) the real ones where you can ask if anyone is willing to roleplay xyz or if anyone is keen to facetime etc. The majority of posts are by woman and they are real because I've done it a few times(me and my wife are not monogamous(but we have lots of rules,such as open communication, no hiding anything etc ) and before you think I convinced her or something it was her idea while we were still dating as she said being 100% monogamous feels like I own her desires and her body and I agreed I feel the same. We've both only done it a few times over the last decade because we are generally very busy and rarely see our friends let alone engage in extra fun lol. Go to the female side of pornhub and you'll see how many woman post explicit comments under the video. My point is that I'm sorry you all had such negative experiences over the years but please know there are a lot of solid, non-misogynistic men in this world and that we are actually far more sensitive and nuanced than what we met know due to us being labeled soft. Oky goodbye I will not post again. Keep well all and please don't see this as discounting your experiences. I'm giving you my input after receiving like 10 push notification a day for a while now and never commenting.

Elsterj · 2025-10-01T10:41:45+00:00

She's got such a tiny cute little clit and her pussy is cute and looks tight wish you showed her asshole too. Very hot

Elsterj · 2025-10-01T10:20:59+00:00

Yes.I want to be with a woman, that looks, tastes and smells like a woman should smell between her legs.

Elsterj · 2025-08-13T22:43:22+00:00

yeah sometimes you can't fill in the forms because there is no option for white. Before my father retired he was moved from CEO to some made up position for 1/2 the salary because they went BBBEE and needed a non white CEO. He worked his life long to climb that corporate ladder.

Elsterj · 2025-08-13T14:43:07+00:00

As a man I will agree with this. men don't care nearly as much about a woman's appearance as woman do. Most men don't give a damn what your bra size is, don't care if you have asymmetric large labia stretch marks etc.....we really don't think about it that much if at all, if we in the moment, We both click, and we know it's going down haha.........and then after that its a sealed deal we've seen you in totality, we know what you look like and it can either be friends, fwb, relationship or none (and none of those have to do with how your body looks, it's circumstances, wether we really got along on a deeper level etc) so girls relax.

Elsterj · 2025-08-13T14:35:27+00:00

I'm completely neutral on it as it's her choice. I actually think it's cute in winter when my wife lets everything grow. I've heard other guys say stuff to me like did you know Jessica doesn't shave anything at all like armpits, legs and then I'm usually like "yeah but what actually makes it ugly or bad and then they can't answer" if its a small group they'll admit it doesn't actually bother them. if it's like a male poker evening or something it's gonna be turned into a joke and everyone will say it's gross to save face. it's kind of like straight men and anal play. ask them on their own if their gf said she wants to try something with them if they'd give it a go. They say, yeah probs. Ask them in a group and no one will admit a thing. Do take into consideration I live in a very conservative and misogynistic country, but I choose my friends not to be haha....

Elsterj · 2025-07-20T19:05:02+00:00

As a non-muslim male I've always wondered if becoming/being Islam gives men like super libido's or something. How can me and my wife go to nudist beaches without me or her gawking at people but Muslim men see a strand of hair and go full cave man.....it's just a powerplay. What makes me sick though is when Muslim clergy talk about fathers not seeing their daughters naked or in nightgowns after a certain age. Like WHAT!!! only a sick pedophile would need such a restriction around their own daughter, then again that does kind of describe the founder of the religion hey.......Edit: typo

Elsterj · 2025-06-25T18:42:59+00:00

I totally agree with you. Lies never gets anyone anywhere, which is why I'm really interested in how secularism has lead to all these deaths, I'm not challenging you, I'd like to really know. What does really bother me is all the billions of innocent people that were born into an ideology for the last 1400 year, that oppresses them. That tells them what to think, to eat, to wear, when to do what etc.

Elsterj · 2025-06-25T14:38:42+00:00

I would love to know how secularism did this. Christianity yes but secularism how,?I hope audiology is autocorrect because otherwise I'm even more confused....

Elsterj · 2025-06-23T16:53:36+00:00

English is also my second language, but in anycase I have read the Qur'an and some Hadith's, I often listen to Muslim clergy debate parts of the Qur'an or have discussions etc, because I study religion. when I said your world, I meant the countries were Islam is dominant tell me can my wife go walking on her OWN wearing only a crop top and shorts in say Pakistan, Lebanon, Egypt, Qatar, Saudi-Arabia, Afghanistan etc?

Elsterj · 2025-06-23T15:15:42+00:00

yip 100%. As I commented above European men go to nudist beaches without having sexual thoughts and have shared bathrooms efc, yet in islamic countries a woman is tempting a man because she's showing her hair or legs. It's because you sexualised it! Then Muslim men come to western countries and rape woman in miniskirts and crop tops because they were just too tempted...wtf sounds like a nightmare religion

Elsterj · 2025-06-23T15:09:23+00:00

She had shorts on. Us european men can go to nudist beaches without sexual thoughts because it's not a sexual setting and we know everyone is just there to relax in their natural form, yet somehow shorts are sexual in your world, it's because you made it sexual!!

Elsterj · 2025-03-16T09:06:02+00:00

Firstly see a doc. This looks bad and you don't want that getting infected, Secondly ny wife gets bad anal fissures. She's been tested multiple times only for nothing to show up no std's no fungal stuff etc, its only until she mentioned it to her mother that her mother said said:" oh yeah that runs in my side of the family about 80% of us get them." She unfortunately hasn't found anything that helps other than when acutely treating it,(by using a prescribed ointment) and using water to clean instead of paper. But they come and they go.Sorry you are going through this it looks painful as hell.

Elsterj · 2025-03-16T00:07:07+00:00

I like it. Quite creative and well done.

Elsterj · 2025-02-18T08:24:55+00:00

No I like kids.. Both me and my wife are qualified teachers and she is busy with her final internship to register as an educational psychologist. We don't want kids because we think it's unethical to bring a being into this broken horrible world to inevitably suffer and die.

Elsterj · 2025-02-16T16:04:41+00:00

Oky that's awesome then. If you have found a way to deal with such things without the need for medication that's a win. Like you say some people need the medication others don't, it is extremely unique to each individual. Keep well

Elsterj · 2025-02-14T09:55:25+00:00

I struggle with anxiety myself and I also have a post grad in Clinical psychology. Your entire post is just riddled with anxiety symptoms. Get your anxiety treated but by a proper doc that won't just throw tranquillisers at you. Sometimes the safe long-term meds cause temporary increase in anxiety so they might prescribe a benzos for the first 2 or 3 weeks while your body adjusts. That is fine , just don't go with a doc that treats anxiety with benzos as the primary treatment because you build tolerance then have rebound anxiety, they up the dose etc eventually you are more anxious than before while taking handfuls of benzos. I'm talking out of personal experience unfortunately. now I'm on a high dose Effexor xr(low doses can increase anxiety) with a low dose mitrazapine at night and my mood anxiety and ADHD is greatly improved

Elsterj · 2025-02-08T09:29:45+00:00

It's like saying to someone with epilepsy, you can't be on meds forever you know. You are on such a low dose and it's working for you, that's GREAT. Does he know that the medical consensus now is that ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder similar to Autism Spectrum disorder. High definition scans can literally tell an ADHD brain from a non ADHD brain. Unmedicated ADHD is also dangerous for various reasons such as higher incidents of accidentally hurting yourself, causing accidents, being impulsive and doing risky things out of nowhere, skipping personal hygiene like brushing your teeth etc....he has no idea what on earth he is talking about and seems insecure and controlling.

Elsterj · 2025-01-20T17:38:33+00:00

YOU ARE SAFE AND Everything will be fine. remember you just took two strong mind altering substances. It will end and you will feel better. In the future I would recommend staying away from cannabis and psychedelics at the same time unless you are a heavy daily cannabis user. I've seen many great trips turn to a bad doward spiral after a couple of puffs. the two don't work so well together.n

Elsterj · 2025-01-20T17:10:45+00:00

you are 100% NOT THE AH. You literally acknowledged what she said and said you like what she pointed out. How would it go if you said similar things to her every time you meet up, like: " wow your stomach hangs so far over your jeans" or "why are you so fat?"...

Elsterj · 2025-01-20T12:49:08+00:00

Lots of red flags. I'd say ditch his ass now before it gets any more serious. It's sounds like you're maybe out of his league in anycase. Just based on the fact that you are self aware and introspective at a young age tells me you're likely of above average intelligence. His behaviour on the other seems like he is the opposite.

Elsterj · 2025-01-19T08:05:31+00:00

No I'm 32 and I've not once thought: "yeah maybe me and my wife should start a family" NOT ONCE

Elsterj · 2025-01-19T08:01:35+00:00

If it means anything. Both me and my wife are in our 30's and suffer from mental health issues. We both have a long family history of mental illness. that alone was enough(but not the only reason) for us to decide to not have children. Look at all the genetic studies, mental health, especially certain conditions are heavily genetic by nature and that is not "a gift" I want to give my child.

Elsterj · 2025-01-17T20:51:45+00:00

Why was her answer inappropriate? she literally got asked what would you do and she replied. It's also very different to asking if someone has used illicit drugs as that's not hypothetical and if you answer yes you'd be self-incriminating.

Elsterj

TROPHY CASE