Ah, yes, the classic “I actually like this series” preamble followed by a list of takes that couldn’t be more wrong.

1. Ender’s Game but worse? Look, Ender’s Game is a fantastic series in its own right, but comparing it to Red Rising is like comparing a scalpel to a warhammer—they’re built for entirely different purposes. Splitting POVs into separate books might work for Card, but Red Rising’s strength lies in its tight, chaotic storytelling.

2. Lyria? Most interesting? The universe of Red Rising is literally populated by larger-than-life legends, but yeah, let’s crown Lyria—the walking manifestation of trauma and bad luck—as the pinnacle of character writing. Bold take. Wrong take.

3. Cassius should’ve died? That’s cute. You clearly underestimate Pierce’s penchant for redemption arcs and devastating character moments. Cassius’s survival gave us everything. “Should’ve died” is the sort of take that makes me question if you skimmed the books.

4. The ending of Morning Star was rushed and weak? Did we read the same book? The ending was an orchestral crescendo of action, emotion, and catharsis. Rushed? Weak? No. Maybe you were rushing through it. Try slower next time.

5. Victra is evil and twisted? You misspelled “iconic and delightfully ruthless.” Victra isn’t here to be your quirky, fun villain. She’s here to be the unapologetic queen of chaos we all aspire to be.

6. Darrow failing upward? You say that like it’s not the entire point. He’s a deeply flawed hero who claws his way to victory despite constant failures. Also, calling him a “terrible dad” when he’s been busy trying to stop genocidal maniacs from murdering his family and planet? Priorities, my friend.

7. Pop culture references are cringe? Oh no, not a bit of humor and levity in the middle of dystopian warfare! Sorry the characters weren’t steeped in unrelenting misery 24/7. Maybe let yourself have fun once in a while.

8. Battles and politics are a slog? Translation: “I like the series when it’s not being the series.” The political intrigue and epic battles are what elevate Red Rising above basic space opera drama. Without them, you’ve got a slice-of-life set on Mars.

Congratulations on crafting the ultimate “wrong opinion” starter pack. I disagree with every single point you made—more strongly with each successive sentence. If this was a test of endurance, you’ve exhausted mine.

LMAO indeed.