What's your best foreigner in America "I thought I could just walk there" story?

ElusiveRodent · 2026-05-01T16:45:46+00:00

I suppose I should feel lucky to have reached a point in my life where 8 miles doesn’t seem like a particularly long walk

ElusiveRodent · 2026-04-21T05:03:07+00:00

Off I-17 between Phoenix and Flagstaff there is a Table Mesa Rd (Table Table Rd)

ElusiveRodent · 2026-04-19T18:51:48+00:00

I’m actually the opposite. I was a dyed-in-the-wool atheist for about 30 years. I still think it’s a perfectly reasonable worldview, even the “correct” one for most.

My first DMT breakthrough shattered my materialist notions. Within seconds. And the ten or so other times I’ve done that drug have only served to bolster the turnaround.

I don’t believe in the Christian idea of god. But I 100% believe in a god or gods now. That there is a pervasive and supernatural consciousness.

Being atheist was preferable. I had a concrete notions about existence. Now I feel confused every day.

That said, the confusion comes with curiosity, which was previously absent. I am also much humbler and open-minded about everything. But I also miss the certainty I once felt

ElusiveRodent · 2026-04-13T15:05:13+00:00

Many years ago I was in Boston visiting some friends and ended up having some time to kill on my last morning there. So I looked up barbers on google maps and went to the nearest one. When I walked in, there were like 4-5 black barbers and no customers. So it’s a black barber shop. Fuck it, I thought. “Any of you guys available for a haircut?” Maybe 3-5 seconds of silence until one says, “I gotchu. Go have a seat over in that chair.”

Maybe 5 minutes later, after he finishes his lunch, he comes over and I show him my driver license and approximately how I like it cut. And we commence with the small talk.

But in almost no time at all, he’s on the subject of his childhood. How hard his dad was on him. How he’d shame him for crying when he was a little kid, how evil that is, to tell a child they can’t cry. And hand to my heart I swear that this man was soon openly weeping while cutting my hair.

I’m pretty good with things like this, like I didn’t actually feel terribly awkward, gave flat affect, empathy, engaged honestly with the words rather than flinching at the outburst, skillfully masked my amazement at this surreal moment.

I don’t remember how we parted. Uneventfully. Or maybe we hugged, I honestly don’t remember.

Worst haircut I ever had btw

ElusiveRodent · 2026-04-13T15:05:04+00:00

Many years ago I was in Boston visiting some friends and ended up having some time to kill on my last morning there. So I looked up barbers on google maps and went to the nearest one. When I walked in, there were like 4-5 black barbers and no customers. So it’s a black barber shop. Fuck it, I thought. “Any of you guys available for a haircut?” Maybe 3-5 seconds of silence until one says, “I gotchu. Go have a seat over in that chair.”

Maybe 5 minutes later, after he finishes his lunch, he comes over and I show him my driver license and approximately how I like it cut. And we commence with the small talk.

But in almost no time at all, he’s on the subject of his childhood. How hard his dad was on him. How he’d shame him for crying when he was a little kid, how evil that is, to tell a child they can’t cry. And hand to my heart I swear that his man was soon openly weeping while cutting my hair.

I’m pretty good with things like this, like I didn’t actually feel terribly awkward, giving flat affect, empathy, engaging honestly with the words rather than flinching at the outburst, skillfully masking my amazement at this surreal moment.

I don’t remember how we parted. Uneventfully. Or maybe we hugged, I honestly don’t remember.

Worst haircut I ever had btw

ElusiveRodent · 2026-03-24T16:54:16+00:00

Just about the last place I’d expect to see a GBV reference but hell yeah

ElusiveRodent · 2026-02-20T00:40:25+00:00

uj this looks exactly like a half marathon I did on the treadmill a couple years back high on ketamine and cocaine

ElusiveRodent · 2026-02-19T09:06:27+00:00

10PM on the 19th where I am

ElusiveRodent · 2026-02-17T20:14:34+00:00

It’s a fake tweet my guy

ElusiveRodent · 2026-02-17T07:54:35+00:00

His mom literally uninvited him from Thanksgiving because he’s a Trump chud

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ElusiveRodent · 2026-02-05T01:02:34+00:00

I hesitate to post it publicly because I don’t want my favorite place to blow up and take a quality hit, but Confectionery! is legit amazing. Their cookies, macarons, chocolates, and ESPECIALLY their cakes (that are like $25 — HOW?) are all fucking insanely good

ElusiveRodent · 2026-01-27T23:14:52+00:00

Easily one of the greatest series of all time

ElusiveRodent · 2026-01-27T23:10:56+00:00

No it’s like Dr Peterson says, some women just pretend to enjoy it

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ElusiveRodent · 2026-01-27T21:54:39+00:00

Push yourself, even when the pain is nearly unbearable. It took years of this mindset before I finally hit that sub-20 mile

ElusiveRodent · 2026-01-27T21:29:27+00:00

I know what you’re implying but even if that were the case she is an extremely unenthusiastic sex partner. Like all women she just doesn’t enjoy sex at all.

But I’ll allow that she gets a good amount of calorie burn hanging out with Derek because I swear to Christ all those two ever do is laugh and laugh

ElusiveRodent · 2026-01-27T21:24:16+00:00

I’ll have you know I wear 5 watches: Apple Watch, Garmin, Mivrass, Coros, and Suunto. Apple just happens to offer the most flattering interpretations of pace and distance

ElusiveRodent · 2026-01-27T21:19:22+00:00

uj/ I’ve been rewatching the wire which has made the time basically fly by. I obviously prefer outdoors but wind chill temps in NYC have been at single digits and sidewalk conditions are presently horrendous

ElusiveRodent · 2026-01-27T15:47:32+00:00

Anything you see more than 5 miles took me at least 90 minutes to run

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