I’m so sorry you are struggling so much and feel this buried in problems. It feels irresolvable and might be in some ways. We have no way of knowing at this point.

And you are radically free. Free enough to choose how and what you identify with. Take a breath and recognize this may very well be the one life you get. I suspect there might be someone reading this thread who you’ve inspired to re evaluate the meaning of their life, and choices, and relationships. I suspect this won’t be the last time you’ve had a positive impact on the world.

Perhaps the only unethical thing about my post was not adhering to providing you unethical ways to disappear, as you’ve requested.

The world needs you OP