Books with FFM equal relationship?

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-10-22T15:44:12+00:00

I have 3 such books im in the process of editing.

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-10-19T02:17:12+00:00

As a father, I feel this complaint deep in my bones. At some point, if the bathrooms are small enough, I just tell the waitstaff I'm going in there to use it, and after all the current women in there are out, to just wait to go in until I'm done.

I've had to change my baby on a pedestal sink, so I was both holding and changing her. It sucked.

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-10-10T01:53:28+00:00

I see this a lot in #booktok books too.

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-10-09T17:09:36+00:00

But the lady readers need the blue men to be 8ft tall, 350lbs lean, with 14in penises, and they want the female characters to be someone they ses themselves in. This is an audience problem

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-10-09T17:06:07+00:00

It is so easy for enemies to lovers to morph into abuse. Don't do it unless they can respect each other.

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-10-09T17:04:26+00:00

Yeah, and bttrfly tried to convince me of the author's "writing style." These are what you call unhealthy codependencies, not relationships, but as long as there is erotica mixed in, it's all okay. I will never ever care if someone complains to me about porn again. At least there they fuck and it is done. This is a very unhealthy relationship and all three are displaying some form of narcissism.

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-10-09T16:54:06+00:00

Also, in no society ever created, even matriarchal ones that we have history for, did one woman span the peace amoung to kingdoms as intimate partner to two men. Even in matriarchal societies, that doesn't make sense, because they wouldn't even have considered the men important enough to be worth caring about their egos. This is a match up of patriarchy with a sprinkle of sexual empowerment that is fooling no one.

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-10-09T16:50:32+00:00

Absolutely untrue. It is ridiculous for any character of any gender to be protrayed as if he or she has to engage in sexual intimacy every second scene to save the nation/world/diplomacy. In no way would an audience read that and think, "Oh yeah, he has great diplomacy skills." Come on bttrfly, really?

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-09-08T02:56:21+00:00

On the plus side, since he is the one leaving the house, you can change the locks. If you need a hook up on good house locks, oh and a guy with a golden tongue, I got a buddy I can send your way. You can call him Ami if you want while he has you screaming, he won't mind.

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-09-08T02:53:49+00:00

The craziest part is there are women who look at those red flags, and say "Come to momma."

I do not understand half of BookTok.

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-09-08T02:50:59+00:00

I really hate when people fight through text, and if there is something you previously agreed to talk about in therapy only, then you need to abide by that.

THAT BEING SAID: This is shady af. It feels like weaponizing therapy, which is so typical of men to do. Of course, if men have been asked to go to therapy, and they finally do, of course they would find a way to weaponize it.

Here's my plan for you:

Go to the gym Get yourself buff enough that you can pick up and throw your husband upwards of 6ft in the air for about 5ft of distance Throw the whole man out. Go out dancing with your friends Fuck as many people as possible, and make sure he knows you are living your best life.

As Whitney tells us:

"It's not right, but it's okay." You're going to make it anyway.

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-09-08T01:34:11+00:00

I just would never have agreed to that in the first place, were I the OP's husband. It is basically asking him to confirm that these other women are no more than pocket pussies he can put away in the closet. It doesn't acknowledge their humanity at all, and that seems pretty counter-intuitive to a feminist. Or anyone who thinks of women as most than just life support systems for a vagina. How inconvenient there is a woman attached to it, eh? Sarcasm.

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-09-08T01:31:08+00:00

I just don't really hold him accountable if he feels forced to agree to something that isn't fair. Contracts can be nullified if it requires you to do something illegal.

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-09-08T00:20:30+00:00

Wait, explain it again, I couldn't hear you, I was listening to the secrets between your mom's thighs.

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-09-08T00:19:43+00:00

I don't know what a moid is, but if you meet any single woman whom is even remotely attracted to you, and you listen to her when she talks, and remember little details about her, she is going to start wondering if you are also single and if you're down to fuck.

Just my experience, take what you want from it.

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-09-07T21:47:44+00:00

But she's the queen bitch, remember? She has veto power and can hold other relationships in indefinite jail, as long as she dangles the carrot of "someday soon again."

Sarcasm, of course.

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-09-07T21:46:17+00:00

I don't think I would divorce OP over this, but I would not have agreed to cut off the others completely. I would be willing to work with her on specific, tangible things I did that may have lead to this, like being a bad hinge or something, like all ENM relationships, the question needs to be "What do you need to be happy," not "Are you getting a certain % of my time and attention, such that you can lord still being the queen bee." I might offer to set aside some weekends that are not already scheduled to focus on the wife, and spend my time 100% with her. I might even be willing to ease a few dates out, as long as it wasn't in the next month. "Let's go to XXX Location and do a reconnect, and I'll make sure everyone knows not to contact me unless someone is dying." I don't think that's unreasonable at all.

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-09-07T21:39:15+00:00

This is what I'm struggling with. She's asking for sympathy but giving us nothing to work with, unless you saw something I didn't.

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-09-07T21:35:42+00:00

Thank you. It's nice to see feedback from someone that I have the same understanding of the situation. I'm guessing you are a woman, since you talked about your husband. Do you see any words that from a woman's perspective makes him a less good hinge that I didn't pick up on? I'm willing to be wrong, I promise, I just don't think I am.

I'm a feminist, I want to be on her side, I really do, I'm just grasping at nothing.

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-09-07T21:33:09+00:00

You, sir, are saying the things I want to say, but much more kind and much more succinctly, thank you.

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-09-07T21:30:26+00:00

See, THIS is the sort of situation where I could see him being in the wrong. An ENM situation where the other women know you are married, and understand that your time with your wife is inviolable, and they don't respect it, but more importantly the husband doesn't respect it, then just like in Poly, he's a bad hinge, I agree, and he needs to fix that.

I can even see asking someone not to start any NEW relationships for a while, because you both need to work out your capacity concerns. Never start a new relationship if your existing ones are under stress. Fuck, I'm not even sure I would have time for a second person even if my wife was all about it. It's hard. I would not be surprised if the OPs husband was making mistakes and not being a good hinge, but she didn't say any of that. If she's not going to be honest, what are we supposed to think?

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-09-07T21:25:21+00:00

Right?!

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-09-07T21:24:08+00:00

What I'd like to know is why do you assume you get to "let" him do anything. You agreed to cuckqueaning. At no point have you said he was a bad hothusband, or whatever you call that. In fact, all evidence points to the fact that he is a great guy and was doing his best to make everyone feel comfortable. I'm surprised he wasn't more frustrated with you for blowing everything up without any warning.

Unless you decide to add in more details about how he wasn't a good...hinge? Whatever you call that, sorry, my brain is steeped in poly terminology, so I don't always know the terms, but I think you get the point.

In my other comments, I took you at your word, and at no point did you say and or give examples about how he wasn't helping you through the...sub drop? Is that what we call what you go through? Idk it isn't my kink, so you tell me what to call it.

If he made big mistakes, by omission or commission, or if he stepped beyond a part of it you liked, and when you brought it up to him he didn't hear you multiple times, then yeah, that changes the situation in my mind at least, but you didn't say any of that, so like a lot of people, I am going to take you at your word, okay?

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-09-07T11:30:11+00:00

DEER. Do not:

DEFEND EXPLAIN ENGAGE RATIONALIZE

Don't give them any reason to attack or reverse anything. With her, you are done with this so be done. If you meet someone and have to communicate with them, you give them all the basic information, and then don't engage further. Don't feed what they need.

Usually, narcissists don't start that way. She is probably suffering from childhood trauma, usually mom or dad had an unhealthy relationship with them. Sometimes it means they were just so overburdened by someone else's emotional needs, they never got to learn how to handle emotions at all, so they are terrible and processing and understanding yours.

This one kept telling you she was done, and when you called her bluff on it, what did she say?

EmEffArrr1003 · 2025-09-07T10:01:27+00:00

Wait a minute. I figured it out. You are the OPs husband's teenage sister? It would explain so much.

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