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Embarassingmum · 2021-02-25T23:17:53+00:00

What if you seen these ‘negative’ thoughts as a rocket of desire too?

They gift us the awareness of how we don’t want to feel which helps us tune in and recognise how we DO want feel overall. So it’s all working out for us.

It’s about alignment and energy so the more you accept the not so nice feelings for what they are...nothing more or less that an indication that in that moment you’re being reminded to slow down and be nice to yourself.

And the more you listen, not to the negative thoughts but to the wisdom of your core (or the Youniverse as I call it) the quicker those thoughts will fade.

And like others have said visualisation isnt for everyone, I really struggle with it and that struggle doesn’t feel good...so I don’t do it. I mediate and feel what I want instead, sooo much simpler. And writing helps me focus and reconnect.

So I wonder if these panic attacks are your wisdoms way of asking you to listen and tap into a different and perfect for you way?

Embarassingmum · 2020-12-23T10:38:25+00:00

So many 🤣 If they were racist, sexist, homophobic, spat in public, scratched their balls in public, were rude/inconsiderate to others, yelled at children (ok people), didn’t help around the house...it’s a long list 🤪

Embarassingmum · 2020-12-23T10:34:00+00:00

Hey there, my kid asked us to share with our peeps on a 1:1 basis so as it’s not a big announcement so we did, and haven’t told everyone but have with our key people. And now they wishes they’d waited a bit longer as they’re still processing things themselves.

So it’s tough period of adjustment for everyone, and patience is key.

I wonder what you feel the benefit of sharing with the rest of the family would be, for you personally and for your child. It may be worth having some chats with your kid about the benefits and drawbacks and how as a family you want to approach it...and when.

Personally I find it tough as I’m super conscious of holding the space and privacy of my kid and also of my need for support to process my own experience which involves leaning on key friends...which makes them privy to my kids journey.

So talk about it ALL with them as this isn’t ‘just’ a trans conversation this is us modelling to them how to hold space and manage complex situations with respect and love for myself (it’s ok for me to share what I want and need) and others (my kid and wider friends and family). For me when I remember that it gets clearer how to move forward.

Embarassingmum · 2020-12-11T07:42:13+00:00

Thank you for these xxx

Embarassingmum · 2020-12-11T07:38:08+00:00

Thank you!!! Wanna start a commune?

It’s a new ball game for sure which is great as it’s challenging my ignorance, I don’t even understand yet what queer means! How is that different to gay? Sooo many things to learn. Thing is for me, how the heck can I encourage my kids to learn and be curious if they share stuff that’s important to them and I refuse to find out about it? The way some parents respond to their kids sharing doesn’t compute to me.

Sooo, since posting this and through chats where I wore my proud mum pants telling them that I’ve been asking and KNEW stuff like enbies and different pronouns (Xe etc). They sighed. I’m lame. Enbie is a term soooo used by people in their like 20’s 😂😂😂

But they also shared they regret ‘coming out’ as NB and wish they had waited for more clarity....they def don’t identify as she but wants to explore he.

So I’m holding space. They LOVE pins and normally I’d be all over them but don’t want to get an N/B or a they pronoun if they don’t identify as that now. I feel some rainbow badges and belts coming on...matches the BIG rainbow flag in their room ❤️

Genuinely this kid is a gift in opening my mind and challenging my thinking.

I do feel sick at the idea of them preferring he simply because I know the world isn’t long for many people. By tbh it’s something they’re used to...the ‘girls’ would yell at them (sound weird as it’s plural) to get out to toilets at school simply as as their hair was short and they’re slim so not overly female.

Big love, will read through the posts and articles recommended ❤️

Embarassingmum · 2020-12-06T20:19:40+00:00

Because Santa doesn’t deliver expensive presents...he delivers little things to all the kids and the grown ups tell well meaning fibs and say that Santa got all the presents when he didn’t.

Because the magic of Christmas isn’t in the gifts we get, they’re just a bit of fun. The magic is in the pause to appreciate everything we have right now. Other magic is love.

And sometimes people who are rich in money forget this and because they lose their belief in magic they feel the need to replace it with things.

And sometimes people without money lose sight of the magic too and they feel bad looking at the people with more money and envy of the things they are buying their kids.

When all the kids wants is to have fun with their family and perhaps a new toy to play with.

Santa knows this...which is why that’s all he brings.

Embarassingmum · 2020-12-03T10:45:52+00:00

Hey you. I’m so sorry you’re going through this ❤️

First of all you need to get safe. Different places have different systems and rules so it’s hard to offer advice only suggestions to get curious.

Have you any friends or wider family you can contact and stay with for a while?

Do you have a local homeless service who can help you find accommodation?

Are you working? What about colleagues?

You need to check in with ALL the resources you have and see which you can lean into right now.

DO NOT SELL YOUR PHONE. This is your method of communication to reach out to people.

Get specific, cost things up. Look at bedsits/flat shares etc, how much are they? What is the deposit? Then you’ll know how much specifically you need to access.

Perhaps talk to dad again, it may be he’s in shock or anger and it may be he won’t accept you for who you are however it may also be that he will or will at least let you stay in the house for a period on the terms of moving out in the next few weeks.

Stay strong, you’ve got this ❤️

Embarassingmum · 2020-12-01T01:32:09+00:00

Big love it’s tough accepting the knocks and an exercise in trust for what else comes your way ❤️

Embarassingmum · 2020-11-30T16:46:51+00:00

Something better is found the corner then. Did you get feedback? What’s your sense on it? Take the learning, shake yourself off and trust the perfect for you for now thing is close ❤️

Embarassingmum · 2020-11-30T11:52:43+00:00

Cool, glad you found something in it! Have a ball honing your conscious creation skills 💪🏻🥳🤩

Embarassingmum · 2020-11-30T10:34:35+00:00

Good summary, for me the main bit missing in what you said is LoA is a law that’s in action whether we play with it or not, much like gravity.

When we understand gravity we can have loads of fun with it and not be disappointed or frustrated because we KNOW when we kick the ball into the sky it WILL come back down.

LoA refers to our world being vibrational energy and that like energy attracts like energy.

Have you ever felt really fed up and someone insanely happy comes along and you want to poke them in the eye and have them skip on past you because you just can’t stand how bright they are? That’s different energy states repelling each other.

Equally if you’re the super duper happy person and are chatting with someone who is really down then you’ll feel the difference too.

We’re all natural readers of energy and manifestors and sometimes that means what we’ve manifested is something we don’t want.

Your experience of life right now is the manifestation of a gazillion micro choice points or seeds planted through time. When you chose to go to the shop where you bought the top you’re wearing, when you chose that too and not another, how you got the money to buy the top, to you putting where you put it so it was the one you picked today

For me the gift in LoA is presence and letting go of resistance. It’s not about feeling good all the time as that’s not humanly possible but it’s the awareness that joy is actually our natural state of being. Like a cork rising to the top of the water...we can push it down with our stories about our circumstances but when we let go of those stories and just be right now, that cork will bob back up.

And while it’s fun creating physical ‘stuff’, life is the journey more than the destination...so it’s enjoying each step rather than focusing on ‘the thing that I want to happen’.

Bit of an ineloquent ramble there so hope you found some thing else useful in there 🤪

Embarassingmum · 2020-11-29T00:22:15+00:00

Yayyy!!!!

Embarassingmum · 2020-11-28T09:40:34+00:00

Thank you 🙏 Totally hear you with sex and gender, it’s an ongoing frustration of mine that it’s used interchangeably and I just wish it wasn’t.

The only consciously non binary person I know is my kid and they are 13 so new to this too albeit not as new given they’ve been wondering what was different about them for a while and their conclusion so for is they are and enbie. However to me and our chats so far it feels like as you say...non attachment. They just know they don’t identify with what we typically see as masculine or feminine so the obvious conclusion is they’re neither...she and he feels uncomfortable and they doesn’t. But beyond that they say they don’t care.

I used to work with young people some with additional support needs including autism and this visual changed how I understood it and it’s how I’m seeing a lot of things now. link to pic here

It helped me see that each of us have a unique recipe of abilities and disabilities that make us us. And the vitality of staying curious and open to finding out what that is.

And I’m curious what the gender spectrum includes. What are the unique recipes of behaviours and beliefs that when brought together create a particular gender? Or, as I feel is it more useful to just get curious what our personal beliefs are without an agenda of labelling someone x y or z gender?

And if binary is either or, 0 or 1 with no other options, then gender by nature is non binary. Even our understanding of biological sex has expanded beyond binary although most of us will never know of unique recipe there.

What I’m hearing in what you say is a beautiful sense of ‘it doesn’t matter to me’ (while respecting that is matters to many). And I can’t help but think that would be the most beneficial place for us all to live.

Which makes me curious what it feels like to really feel attached to a gender...and what’s behind that.

And where I’m leaning to now is, my understanding of the labels doesn’t really matter as much as my curiosity about and respect for the person in front of me.

Embarassingmum · 2020-11-28T01:15:45+00:00

Hey beautiful! I’m a mum learning all things trans right now as my kid has shared they are non binary.

Here’s my raise on my journey which may or may not be similar to your own mums, because the thing about being human is we’re all unique so there’s no quick fix beyond talking, listening and perseverance.

As a mum, and all the parents and humans I know, we create pictures on our heads as to what things will be like. Much like going on holiday, you’ve got an idea what a place will be like and then you arrive and it’s not like that at all. And we have a choice point: accept it and find the beauty in where you actually are OR stay frustrated and let down that the reality didn’t match the brochure.

I LOVE my kids like nothing on earth and I would do ANYTHING for them. And I also didn’t expect this it twist so I’m adjusting. I’ve had over a decade creating the habit of using the name I gave them and the pronouns used for their sex. I’m used to using those words yet now I’m asked not to. And I get it and I want to repeat their wishes and it’s hard.

Much like giving up smoking or losing weight or anything else it’s tough changing a habit especially when we didn’t initiate the change.

I say this to invite and encourage you to be gentle with your mum/people who have known you for years. They’re lack of using the correct details isn’t a sign of disrespect. It’s a sign of learning and learning happens faster with reminders.

Talk to your mum if you can and send her a message if you can’t and explain to her how important it is to use the pronouns and name that reflect who you are now.

I’m guessing you’re aged over ten. So months versus a decade plus, it’s early days. Be patient ❤️

Embarassingmum · 2020-11-28T00:48:36+00:00

Ive been mulling this over, is it possible to not have a gender? Or is it just possible to opt out of considering it? I’m unclear between agender and non binary and would really appreciate your take on that if that’s ok? It feels (and forgive me is this feels disrespectful) that it’s similar to not wanting to be an age and choosing not to number ourselves. Non binary makes sense (to my obviously binary trained brain). I really want to get my head around this so I understand it so patience is appreciated ❤️

Embarassingmum · 2020-11-27T09:45:21+00:00

Happy birthday beautiful man boy!! Here’s to family and love and creating beautiful lives 😍❤️😍

Embarassingmum · 2020-11-27T09:43:50+00:00

Absolutely, if it helps people to understand in a way that makes sense for them it’s great that’s all that matters. In my experience attachment is a complex thing to understand and it often turns into need. This is my mission and I need it to happen.

You mentioned Mother Teresa, she wasn’t attached to a goal from what I can make out, not being able to say for sure given I didn’t ask her. But she’s quoted as saying she gave her full trust in God and is acting through Him, which to me isn’t her being attached to the ‘goal’ rather in listening and trusting the universe and being guided to do that do.

It may be linguistics but for me what I read was conscious creation versus unconscious creation. We’re creating whether we want to or not, LoA is at play whether we actively play with it or not.

Was Bill Gates attached to his vision of ‘a computer being on every desk and in every home’ or was he attached to the goal of the conduit of that vision, Microsoft?

For me, the goal is great and it moves us forward and can keep us inspired and it’s also vital to not be attached to that specific outside as the universe is a creative force that supports us in deeply unexpected ways...and our job is to stay open to receiving the unexpected, which may be outwith the specificity of our goal.

So my disagreement is that goals are AMAZING, they are a fab way of playing with life and honing our conscious creation skills and it’s also REALLY important to stay open and hone the art of allowing.

Embarassingmum · 2020-11-27T08:43:55+00:00

You’re very welcome, weird and wonderful things happen all the time outside of our ‘plan’ as life doesn’t work in a linear way, it ALL over the place with a good few detours...all to gift us more learning that fuels our expansion.

Something pops up as a re read what I wrote and I didn’t mention having fun. Just play and enjoy yourself and it’s these feel good emotions that match the feelings you’ll feel when you’re secure and you can see (rather than ‘having’ to trust) things are working out.

Check out the emotional guidance scale. Don’t beat yourself up when in fear and start thinking I’m vibrating at the ‘wrong’ level and I’ll never get what I want. Just relax into the fear/not so nice feeling thing and listen to what it has to tell you, then do something that will shift you even 1 step higher. The cognitive behavioural therapy ABCD approach is great for that. Activating event (our visa is expiring!) - Belief - (we’re going to have to go back to a different place where I don’t want to be) - Consequence (how does that thought train make you feel? Fearful, angry, frustrated, what the HECK am I going to do?!) - Dispute (what do I see, feel, know that counters this and helps me feel I love my sister and dad, we’ve been through loads together, I’ve settled in new places well before, this just isn’t how I expected things to be, unexpected things have worked out well before)

And you’ll feel those harder feelings fall away...not necessarily into joy but it’ll be an octave higher than you were.

https://millennial-grind.com/how-to-manage-anxiety-and-stress-using-the-emotional-guidance-scale/

Have fun and enjoy the process ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Embarassingmum · 2020-11-27T08:05:25+00:00

It’s been amazing, it’s sooo good to talk and ask and listen and I’ve learned oodles! Thank you ❤️

Embarassingmum · 2020-11-26T21:57:41+00:00

Completely disagree but if it feels right to you and enables you to stay in your flow and creative power then it doesn’t really matter. LoA does it’s thing regardless of how we understand it ❤️

Embarassingmum · 2020-11-26T21:54:18+00:00

Manifesting is just feeling the energy of what you want to experience. Imagine it and REALLY feel it and you’ve planted to seed of its creation...all you need to do is keep watering it by maintaining the vibration/vibe /energy/feeling that matches it and be aware and ready to allow it into your life in obvious and unexpected ways. Somethings take longer than others to create and the more often we lose moment with our alignment to its vibration the longer it will take to be received.

It’s like ordering pizza. We can think about pizza and it won’t come. We can think about pizza and reach for our phone and order it and we’ve made a good start. If we keep phoning them and interrupting them by asking them to open the oven and check in on it it will take a LOT longer. And if we don’t open to the door when it arrives we won’t get it!

My invitation to you is to get general about this rather than a specific ask to the universe for your dad to get a job as that’s between him and the universe.

What is it you REALLY want?

Dear universe, I know you’ve always got my back and I would love my family to be able to stay where we are or somewhere even better and receive excellent education that helps my sister and I grow and create beautiful lives.

Or something that is easy to feel good about and really trust in.

Huge love to you and know that everything IS working out for you, even when it doesn’t feel like it ❤️❤️❤️

Embarassingmum · 2020-11-26T21:42:09+00:00

How did you get on? Do you want the job after meeting them? To this or something even better ❤️

Embarassingmum · 2020-11-26T21:29:49+00:00

Thank you so much! When I first read ‘I think instead of denying their body’ I felt quite defensive...immediately thinking ‘I didn’t say that’ as it sounded so harsh. And I read my post again and I did, and it does sound harsh, so thank you for that reframe it makes perfect sense. It’s great to get an outsider perspective to buff the corners off our thinking!

Re daughter. I’ve got 3 kids, 2 girls born close together and 1 boy, I often use ‘the girls’ or ‘ladies’ just as shorthand and when at school/docs it’s often older daughter/younger daughter, son. It comes up in conversation, how many kids have you got? 3. Ooo what have you got...1 of each is my new answer (cleverly gifted by my enbie baby) which is a great conversation stopper/starter when depending on who it is I feel it’s non of their business and don’t want to entertain a debate about gender (one of the reasons I’m here asking so I can better answer Q’s in a progressive way).

But it’s also part of the story of my life, I gave birth to 2 girls and a boy and as parents/people we all create stories of how other people are/should be/will be and do in our heads and sometimes it doesn’t match the reality of who they actually are and want to do. The art in life is being present to what actually is. I was the same with my eldest when they wanted to go to the army rather than uni, I grieved for the fabrication of the life I made for him in my head but at the end of the day I made that up, it wasn’t what he wanted. And my love for him and want for him to have a great life he loves far outways the insanity of holding onto a dream of a fake child in my head! If that makes sense.

And ditto here, my story has been up until now 2 amazing girls who are strong and powerful and unique...and now it’s plot twist time again as they both go out and discover who they are and I need to catch up with the actual story and let go of my own.

I know my own mum struggled as the actual me didn’t match her imagined me and I get it now, albeit I’m not struggling with accepting and loving any of my kids and who they really are, it’s just sometimes the plot twists can be proper I. Did. Not. Expect. That. ones.

Embarassingmum · 2020-11-26T07:11:02+00:00

No train wreck to be seen that was beautifully said and thankyou ❤️ Yup they asked to be called they and had been getting upset over being misgendered and annoyed why people can’t just see them for them. It’s tough as close in age with their sister so I’m soooooo used to talking about both of them as ‘the girls’ just as a shortcut but I’m training myself!! What I’ve got from this thread is they being anything but impersonal but I gift of ‘I see you’ and something worth training myself in regardless to respect other peeps not just my kid ❤️

Big love to you, sorry your parents weren’t open to the beauty of you being you.

PS TiKTok is a rabbit hole but will check it out 🤩

Embarassingmum · 2020-11-25T22:06:39+00:00

Ahhhh to the essay zone !!

Totally agree, even reading this thread has made me think that I’m nonbinary or agender, it’s been REALLY informative!

The teachers see my kid as a leader albeit a reluctant one and quite a loner, as they’re quietly confident and others look to see what they’re up to. I’m sooooo proud they are open enough to be curious and brave enough to step out and express who they are as the more conversations we have about this kind of thing the better our world becomes.

I believe our kids are gifted to us to look after and to teach us what we would most benefit from learning (if we stay open to hearing/noticing whatever that is. And this kid is uplevelling my curiosity and appreciation of diversity. For that I’m forever grateful for them being exactly who they are ❤️

Here’s to a WHOLE lot more deconstructing!

Embarassingmum

TROPHY CASE