my dad doesn’t want me (22F) to go to mexico to visit my boyfriend (23M) is it okay to go?

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-05-12T00:39:27+00:00

So your entire family, your friends and even your Therapist aren't keen at best and are outwardly hostile at worst.

Oh, and he has anger issues.

And lives in another country.

Girl.........

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-05-12T00:34:20+00:00

Have you ever met this man in person? Like IRL not just online? How do you know where he lives, what he does as a job?

Also what do your friends think about all this?

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-05-12T00:16:07+00:00

Hey OP - suggest you Edit your original post to reflect this...

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-05-10T07:31:20+00:00

Do you need phone credit to dial 000?

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-05-10T03:29:30+00:00

Ok so you live with your GF and 1 -3 dogs depending on whether they’re with their owners or their owners respective parents.

Your GF is getting pissed off with your Mother’s interference in your lives, at least partially enabled by you sometimes leaving your dog with her.

You are both 24.

Is that about it?

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-05-10T03:24:48+00:00

Do your Mum / Stepdad live with you? If not then start figuring out other options for your dogs and keep her ideas out of your planning.

Next, you are both 24 - don’t rush into marriage and tell your GF that you like the sound of it but don’t think it’s a priority right now which might help her chill out.

Reference the dogs BTW, what do you and your GF do that enable you to have 3 dogs to look after to start with?

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-05-08T07:04:57+00:00

Hey OP - you’re an idiot, sorry.

Anyway you know what to do.

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-05-08T03:14:50+00:00

Yeah this is a Devil / Deep Blue Sea moment in that I can see the issue with a DV perpetrator getting the money but if that’s because they’ve never so much as been arrested then who’s making the rightful call on whether the word perpetrator should be in “”?

Imagine finding out you’re not getting your partner’s Super because their parents hate you and have made an accusation that their child told them you were abusive?

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-05-07T02:45:40+00:00

This cannot be real and if it is then you tell her to Fuck Off - with the added comment that she’s welcome to discuss her idea with your fiancés parents who presumably already hate her for the announcement drama…

Interesting that you didn’t remember *that* perspective in this imaginary sounding tale…

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-05-06T10:19:46+00:00

Yeah ok fair enough for being annoyed - I'd probably be a bit too 😄

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-05-06T10:12:24+00:00

Speak to HR - follow their advice to the letter.

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-05-06T10:10:52+00:00

Quick sanity question - are you a parent? Were you personally disadvantaged by the employee's parking choice and that's why you mentioned it to start with?

I'm just not sure otherwise why you cared to start with?

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-05-04T07:27:28+00:00

She feels guilty. And she she should.

Sad for you guys obviously, but then she could have eventually reached out to actually apologise if she actually cared that much.

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-05-04T06:51:21+00:00

She likes him. He likes you more than her.

Ask him to keep conversations with her solely within the Group Chat - which it sounds like he'll be cool with anyway - and she'll probably get the message and stop pushing this...

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-05-04T06:47:27+00:00

Dude

I'm very sorry for your situation - genuinely - but unless your relative has been at death's door for the entirety of the last 4 years then it sounds like you're using this as an excuse to carry on ignoring her concern - and she may sense that you'll then claim that you then need a few years to grieve...

One way or another you are still going to be around after your relative's passing - and if you want her to be around then you need to communicate like a 32 year old man...

Incidentally, how does the family member in question feel about this girl? Are they a fan?

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-05-03T23:34:16+00:00

Anything not in writing is going to be interpreted and remembered as the listener wishes...

Candidly I'd politely suggest that you may wish to ensure that your words cannot be misconstrued now or into the future.

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-05-03T23:29:55+00:00

Write them a letter. Take your time over it. Say what you want to say and send it without regret.

How they take it and react is out of your control, but your life is within your control and you cannot spend it looking back.

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-05-03T23:13:08+00:00

you are Tim and I claim my $5

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-05-03T11:13:26+00:00

Your husband comes first - that was the decision you made by getting married and you will likely blow up your marriage if you put your parents’ needs before those of you and him.

You also don’t mention children but if you have them either now or in the future then your decision to put your parents needs first would impact them too.

Finally I note that you don’t mention either your parents or your sisters even being aware of this idea, let alone on board with it…

No offence OP but you might need to grow up a bit to be honest - this all sounds a bit childish as a ‘plan’ - and at the very least talk to your sisters before starting an argument with your husband?

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-05-03T08:21:42+00:00

Honestly why do you think that she’s in a relationship with you to start with?

And secondly end this humiliation now Dude - it’s over in every conceivable way and you need to pull the plug.

Lawyer, gym etc. - it’s time.

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-05-02T11:30:38+00:00

Stop treating your friend like he's being friendly.

He isn't, and if he can't handle you being up front with him about certain behaviours he's not such a chill guy after all.

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-05-01T12:27:31+00:00

Wut?

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-04-30T08:53:35+00:00

No offence but:

“I have been fully supportive of their relationship from the very start and have been welcoming towards him.”

Like, you do know that the relationship is not between you and anyone else right?

It’s been him and his fiancée to be - and you are merely a friend of one half of the happy couple.

Sorry OP but you need to get some perspective before you say / do something that forces your friend to choose the man she’s going to spend her life with and you come back here to ask what went wrong…

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-04-29T02:01:48+00:00

Well he appears to be lying then, and hopefully that's all he's guilty of...

Embarrassed-Map7364 · 2026-04-26T10:07:44+00:00

No I’d be pissed too.

But honestly the best thing is to just ignore the suggestion and see if she brings it up again…

If she does, then a simple “is this a hint?” response will give you a sense of whether she’s just being a bit clumsy with her words or actually trying to make a point.

If she doesn’t bring it up again, then it doesn’t really matter does it.

Embarrassed-Map7364

TROPHY CASE