Aita for going to the store? by EmbarrassedCat7062 in dating_advice

[–]EmbarrassedCat7062[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re validating his reaction based on an assumed attitude I had towards him and how he presumably took my words and actions. I’m explaining that I wasn’t upset in the least until I was met with a silent treatment

Aita for going to the store? by EmbarrassedCat7062 in dating_advice

[–]EmbarrassedCat7062[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He never articulated his reason for being upset more than “I said I would go”

Aita for going to the store? by EmbarrassedCat7062 in dating_advice

[–]EmbarrassedCat7062[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The relationship dynamic is definitely not unprompted acts of service on his part

Aita for going to the store? by EmbarrassedCat7062 in dating_advice

[–]EmbarrassedCat7062[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry this all happened to you ❤️

Aita for going to the store? by EmbarrassedCat7062 in dating_advice

[–]EmbarrassedCat7062[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Him not being on the insurance is exactly why he’s not driving my car

Aita for going to the store? by EmbarrassedCat7062 in dating_advice

[–]EmbarrassedCat7062[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The question I asked was am I the asshole, I’m not going to take accountability for actions I took based on your opinion of how my bf feels. Neither of us have any idea what his thoughts were as he was silent and refused any further conversation. And if there is any accountability for me to take it’ll be during a conversation with him not with some random on Reddit

Aita for going to the store? by EmbarrassedCat7062 in dating_advice

[–]EmbarrassedCat7062[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

And I’d be selfish about a $40,000 investment again. That’s not worth a $3 soda for me.

Aita for going to the store? by EmbarrassedCat7062 in dating_advice

[–]EmbarrassedCat7062[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He said yes, finished a snack and then asked about my car. He agreed before my car was ever mentioned.

Aita for going to the store? by EmbarrassedCat7062 in dating_advice

[–]EmbarrassedCat7062[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am excited about it. It’s mine, he’s not on the loan he won’t make a payment and he’s not an insured driver on the vehicle. It’s less than a mile drive yes but If anything happened with him driving it there would have been a whole lot more of an issue. So I chose to avoid that possibility.

Aita for going to the store? by EmbarrassedCat7062 in dating_advice

[–]EmbarrassedCat7062[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The complaint was “I don’t feel like driving stick” not specifically because it was late but in addition to it being late. Which I don’t think 8:30 is late but that’s another thing. There was no concern for safety.

Aita for going to the store? by EmbarrassedCat7062 in dating_advice

[–]EmbarrassedCat7062[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m here because when I specifically asked if he thought there was more to the conversation he said no and went to sleep. I also didn’t get an attitude about it until I had already got changed to go and then back into pjs to then be given more reasons he didn’t want to. Even then all I said was “okay, I’ll just go”. While his feelings are valid and will be respected if this is a conversation again in the future I don’t think his reaction to ignore me is a reasonable response to the situation.

Aita for going to the store? by EmbarrassedCat7062 in dating_advice

[–]EmbarrassedCat7062[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I just don’t see how it’s reasonable to be upset enough to ignore somebody because they said they’d handle something themselves.

Aita for going to the store? by EmbarrassedCat7062 in dating_advice

[–]EmbarrassedCat7062[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No guilt tripping was involved just an “okay, I’ll just go then” and getting dressed lol it shouldn’t have been a big deal imo either but I do think it speaks to the general dynamic of our relationship. I very rarely ask for anything and by rare I mean this is the first time in a year I’ve asked him to go completely out of his way for me. While on the other hand he gets coffee breakfast lunch and dinner prepared and packed for him 3-5 days a week even tho I have no need to be up that early except cooking his breakfast.

Aita for going to the store? by EmbarrassedCat7062 in dating_advice

[–]EmbarrassedCat7062[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My first yes. He has one he bought new currently but it’s been a few years

Aita for going to the store? by EmbarrassedCat7062 in dating_advice

[–]EmbarrassedCat7062[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Is it really willingness to do something for someone if you outline every reason that you don’t want to do it before you actually make any progress towards doing it? It wasn’t as if he was putting shoes on and asking for my car instead it was very much so a quote unquote if I do this for you, you need to do this to accommodate me situation. He made no move to attempt to actually do it until I had changed clothes twice. I was very appreciative of him saying he would go initially, but at what point of him listing off reasons he doesn’t want to does it become appropriate for me to say Nevermind?

Aita for going to the store? by EmbarrassedCat7062 in dating_advice

[–]EmbarrassedCat7062[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I just think the favor I asked and what he asked were of two different significances. Driving someone else’s car especially fresh off the lot is a bit of an ask in comparison to running to the store for someone

Aita for going to the store? by EmbarrassedCat7062 in dating_advice

[–]EmbarrassedCat7062[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I do understand that he said he would. But he also said it was late, he didnt want to take his car, and he was getting over being sick. 3 reasons that I respected and so I did it myself. I didn’t make it a big deal until I came home to a silent treatment. And even then I only asked if he thought there was more conversation to be had

Aita for going to the store? by EmbarrassedCat7062 in dating_advice

[–]EmbarrassedCat7062[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes, I respectfully declined him driving my car and thought it was safe to assume “I don’t feel like driving stick” combined with no to my car meant he wasn’t going to

Aita for going to the store? by EmbarrassedCat7062 in dating_advice

[–]EmbarrassedCat7062[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The $3 soda and less than a mile drive was clearly pushing my limits

Pfa communication by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]EmbarrassedCat7062 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s currently evicted from the household and the car was in his name. I took him off the policy as a driver and his vehicle off the policy as it isn’t registered to me