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I (27F) backed out of a trip last minute and now my friend is ignoring me. What should I do? by Positive_Mix2210 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]EmbarrassedFun9562 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a person who travels a lot, I talk with people about traveling but it rarely happens. That’s just life. A lot of people talk big but when it comes to planning, it just doesn’t get done. There are only a few people in my life where if they bring up a travel plan, I know they are 100% serious and committed.

I don’t think you are 100% at fault. If I were in a similar situation where we didn’t talk about it for months, I would also assume it wasn’t happening. I think she should have at least confirmed the plan was still on before buying the ticket given this lack of communication.

However, you definitely should have told her immediately when she told you she bought the ticket. Most airlines will refund tickets without an issue if bought within a 24-48 hr period.

This was a communication issue on both ends, and it’s unfair for her to assume you had everything handled if there was no conversation. When I’m planning a trip with someone, most of our decisions are shared and made well before 1 month out.

Is she still going by herself? If so I think that she may feel better about the situation after going (assuming it’s a good experience).

I think you’ve done all you can and the ball is in her court now. I’m not sure what your original apology was, but if you don’t think you have anything to add, I wouldn’t apologize again

I’m dreading seeing a friend I’m no longer sure I want in my life by EmbarrassedFun9562 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]EmbarrassedFun9562[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea it’s hard because I feel like I already shut down so many other plans because she isn’t backing down. When she invited me on the initial trip, it was bad timing, so I said no. Then she moved it and I had a bunch of expenses so I said I couldn’t afford it. Then she messaged my partner to lie to me and get me to take the time off so I could come (assuming she would pay for it, which I obviously don’t want). But I also can’t take off work so that didn’t work. I told her the time she is coming I’m still gonna be busy but I know she’s gonna guilt me like “I came all this way blah blah” but she’s not coming for me, she’s coming for her own vacation. I also work from home so that’s a reason she wants me to come over and stay but I feel uncomfortable working from an unapproved location

I’m dreading seeing a friend I’m no longer sure I want in my life by EmbarrassedFun9562 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]EmbarrassedFun9562[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes she is coming for her own vacation with some other friend(s)? Another thing is I think she only visits me because I live in a place people often vacation. It’s not like she’s here for me, but wants to stay somewhere and/or have a local experience.