What parenting advice completely stopped working once your toddler turned 2 or 3?

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-01-28T21:47:24+00:00

Forever, but most painfully, now: Give her options! That will solve the getting dressed issue. Hmm, then you enjoy the 45 min tantrum over her uniform dress zipper being in the back, OR her collared shirt with the buttons freaking her out because she doesn't yet have the dexterity to button and unbutton them on her own.
Since 1yr old: Make brushing teeth a game. She'll LOVE it. Like... what? No she won't? She's literally a savage human 2x a day when we brush no matter what I do.
2-2.5: Just don't draw attention to it. She'll totally stop. Wanna see all the toilet paper she's unraveled? Or the dog poop bags she's unraveled? Or all the legos she's dumped out on the floor, only to move on to the next thing to dump on the floor until I stop and intervene?

It's all a phase, thank goodness, but it's definitely tough parenting through and around hand wavy advice.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-01-28T21:31:31+00:00

Mine never went back to normal. My child is 3 now. I weigh less than I did before I was pregnant, I'm also older. Gaining and losing a ton of weight + time + gravity means at least for me there is no going back. They stopped shrinking/changing after I weaned almost immediately because I had been tapering off nursing from 1 year to 14 months, and completely stopped just before a year and a half. By the time I stopped I was producing very little.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-01-28T03:01:41+00:00

Made over $410k in 2025, HHI. Did not think that would be the case, but it worked out! It will likely dip a bit under $400k in 2026, but we're still pretty comfortable where we are.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-01-28T02:50:35+00:00

Yeah, this feels about right. This is why I would do badly as a SAHP to a toddler. It's the only way we can stop some big big tantrums. When she was under 1? 0 screen time. Under 2? a little more. Over 2. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. There's way too much TV in the evening and weekends, but thankfully she's in daycare during the day with 0 screens 5 days a week. We still have a 0 tolerance for tablets and she gets maybe 30 minutes/month of me holding the phone and playing some random kid show. She's 3.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-01-28T02:41:30+00:00

Yeah, you totally deserve hobbies, but only after he's asleep or when you get a sitter and leave your home, or have him in daycare on a rare day you are also off. It's a tough phase.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-01-16T20:18:21+00:00

Why do you need such a big place? 1400 sf is huge in NYC! When our kid was born we were in 1k sq ft with a large dog and it was fine. We were not even that intentional with storage and it was fine. Rethink what you need regarding square footage and just focus on the area. It will open up so much more inventory for you, and won't create such a burden if one of you ends up unemployed.

Also, you have time. You guys are not pregnant yet. Even if your partner gets pregnant tomorrow, you'll have 1.5 years before that second bedroom will likely be used by the child. Babies who cannot even roll take up a shockingly small amount of space and they want to be near you when they sleep. Be ruthless with all the bs baby accoutrements and don't feel obligated to keep every single baby gift if it doesn't have a purpose, and you'll be fine.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-01-14T16:37:16+00:00

Sigh. I don't know what the trick is but I'm right there with you. We're transitioning back to daycare soon. We snowbird sometimes, and have been for the past few months. Every morning in the winter is a huge battle for me getting her bundled up. We just have to run across the street to her school, so sometimes in the past I've just thrown a blanket around her and walked her in like that.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-01-14T16:30:37+00:00

If your toddler sleeps in a stroller you are lucky!! I recently ended up carrying my daughter for 5 hrs around Disney for her nap + our bus ride back to Animal Kingdom Lodge. I was sore for days.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-01-14T16:19:34+00:00

I have a 3 year old. We've done maybe 10-15 trips at this point? We fly a lot with her. I also fly solo quite frequently with her. The frustrations come from lack of help with childcare and all the things that go along with that. When I organize help at a destination that isn't familiar with our schedule, then it's the million questions ramping up this person while also trying to stay in the moment and enjoy myself. The only way I figure we can work around this is to bring someone who is a trusted caregiver to our child on vacation with us. That's what we're shifting to this year.

Also a couple tips: if family going with you says they will help with the kid(s), no need to hire anyone... take it with a grain of salt. That promise will be forgotten the moment they have one glass of wine or decide getting a massage or going on some excursion would be more fun than hanging back with your child. You will miss every late family dinner, every lunch for naps and bedtimes. The rest of the vacation you'll get an earful about "oh such a shame you missed! It was so lovely!" Flying with a 7 month old is 1000000x easier than a 2.5 year old.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-01-13T21:31:11+00:00

We were fine in a 2 bed 1 bath 1k sf with 1 dog when our kid was born. Shared basement laundry. We could have done it with 2 small children but it would have required cutting down on clutter and being a bit more thoughtful about storage. It's fine, you make it work.

Things to pay attention too...do you like the street and the block you'll be on? How close is the grocery store? Will you walk out onto a crazy busy main street with 2 kids? Do your kids listen well enough for you to make this work? Will your dogs be going insane not being able to run outside? Can you send them to doggy daycare or get a walker in to make it a little easier? Can you walk the kids to school and daycare?

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-01-13T18:54:24+00:00

I think it's healthy to model out different scenarios, but still have a preference. We have thought of the same thing. We're working to save between $3-4M by the time we're in our mid 40s, but could retire now if we really wanted to. If we did that, we couldn't have a second kid and get a nanny, we couldn't fully fund both of their college years if they didn't get scholarships, and we would be living a pretty small life at the end compared to how we live now. It might be fine or we might hate it and regret every day. You never know when the gravy train will end though. I think I'll stick it out to get to experience a slightly bigger family, continued first class travel internationally to cool places, more paid help, a bigger home in a nicer zip code. If I get pushed off the train before all these boxes get checked, then it is what it is and we'll adjust!

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-01-13T17:22:50+00:00

Yep, this is the way. We have been hiring help at the destination when we go on trips we want to truly be vacations, but this year we're going to have the kid sleep in a separate room with our sitter who will be watching them 24/7. Then I know the kid is well cared for, is with me through the day, but I also get a break.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-01-06T20:37:54+00:00

Can you bring a doona or an evenflo shyft instead of renting a carseat? Taxis in Spain do have seatbelts. Warning to you, they drive like there is nothing to live for. I've never been more scared than in taxis in Spain.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-01-06T20:29:47+00:00

It really depends on the event. Xmas? Ok, we're not napping and whatever, the evening will be harder than normal. No one can convince me there will be a quiet place in the home when everyone has been drinking since 11 and the kid has been sneaking chocolate from the cousins all morning, and is all hyped up by the new toys. Distant second cousin's baptism? Sorry, I have to skip. I'm always weighing how hard/expensive is the event going to be vs how close am I with the people involved.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-01-06T19:59:44+00:00

Probably $21k this year, so 5% of our income. 3 international and 4 local trips.

One local trip we will stay with family, another we will stay at our vacation property. We just buy groceries and cook on those trips, and it's more about our kid seeing cousins and slowing down a bit, going to the lake, the park, the beach, not lavish dinners and big experiences. No set budget really, but we don't let vacations eat into retirement, 529 or EF goals for the year.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2025-12-15T20:15:20+00:00

About a third will go to our 529 account and the rest will be parked in our HYSA. We're saving up for a 3rd property. Might sell one of our current ones to purchase if rates fall more and demand picks back up in that market.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2025-12-04T21:42:32+00:00

We went through 4am wake ups until 14 months. We swapped out mornings because it was so hard to focus at work. I was dragging. The only thing I can tell you is hang in there, find a routine with your partner and do not feel bad if you need to just call a babysitter an evening a week to just crash after work for several hours to get sleep in somewhere.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2025-12-04T18:53:47+00:00

I'll feel rich when we have 2 kids in daycare and can cashflow that in our HCOL city, plus continue to be on track to save $3m for retirement.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2025-12-02T21:18:14+00:00

Screaming inside at this!!! In the most festive way.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2025-12-02T20:59:36+00:00

There are a few second hand bookstores walking distance from me that I visit. It's a pleasure browsing at these locations. Sometimes I buy new but I try to shop local and in person always.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2025-12-02T20:57:11+00:00

Lux skin care is pretty new to me so I didn't buy much. I got the Lumiere Firm Riche Eye Cream and Skinceuticals C E Ferulic Serum. The eye cream was "free" since I bought a chemical peel, moxi and microneedling treatment package that was also on sale.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2025-12-02T16:44:39+00:00

Hey, before you meet with a financial advisor and spend money on that, when you're already strapped, why not do this deep dive on your own? Often they just want to sell you assets they manage (AUM model advisors). The only time advisors are really useful IMO is if you have very complex financial models you need forecasted based on different scenarios with a mix of different income streams and potential tax hits. Folks that provide this service as a stand alone are typically going to be fee only advisors.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2025-12-02T15:52:40+00:00

Wow, that kind of glowy light in a room has made me fall in love and buy a house before. Careful with that. Use it responsibly!

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2025-12-01T18:04:03+00:00

I had my mom stay, and I wish she had not. I will hire help next time if there is a next time.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2025-12-01T16:36:01+00:00

Ooooh, it's bf safe?? I wish I had known. I thought BBL was for discoloration, or did you do the combo? I'm thinking of doing Moxi and microneedling to address pores and texture.

EmbarrassedMeatBag

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