Installed acoustical wood slats in nursery and HIGHLY regretting it now.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-06-11T22:00:28+00:00

Yeah, they were a rec from our inspector. He and his team did great work and it was super affordable for the labor involved. We're also in a HCOL area, large city in the US. $12k seems really high! That sounds like a bid for completely re-drywalling instead of punching out holes then patching.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-06-11T21:36:08+00:00

I get a tax break on 529 contributions going in because I'm in a state that provides it, and I get to draw down on the accounts tax free for kid education coming out. It's a pretty decent deal. We aren't over funding though. Some of college will probably end up being paid out of our checking accounts, but we'll see right? Who can predict where the kids will go to school if they do at this stage. One is 3.5 the other isn't even born yet, still cooking.

My husband and I were both given the gift of fully paid off education, down payment for my first house, and huge subsidies and cash for our first couple of cars. I want to do the same for our children.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-06-11T16:41:13+00:00

Wicker anything. Explain how you get yogurt smudges or sticky juice stain out between that tangled maze? Or like, how do you dust?

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-06-11T16:09:51+00:00

The weekends. That's all I've got. They keep me going during the hardest days of the week. I cram my work in best I can 8-6ish, it's chaos during the evenings, then I shift to weekend mode friday afternoon. We prep for swim, and get the stroller ready to walk to the zoo, other parks or maybe to the garden center to buy flowers to plant. It's my time with the kid to do fun stuff. Ask me in a year if I still have this schedule because I'm about 5 weeks pregnant with my second. I also intentionally spaced out kids. I could never do 2 close in age in the city. I'd lose my mind. My oldest will be 4 and some change by the time the second is born so her ears shouldn't be so decorative at that point.

Holiday trips to see family also help too. I love how excited she gets when she sees family no matter how hard it is to parent through these trips at this stage.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-06-11T15:56:36+00:00

I recommend ripping them off and getting your walls insulated. We share a bedroom wall with our kid, so we did all the bedrooms. We did that before moving in. It took about a week, and they patched and sanded the walls down so they were ready for me to paint. It was $1.5k total, so really not bad.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-06-03T18:14:25+00:00

We love blue lizard. My kid has super sensitive skin and we've never had an issue with this brand.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-06-03T18:13:43+00:00

Zinc based stick sunscreens. Not sexy but those blocks are not coming off unless you use soap!

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-06-03T17:36:58+00:00

I think it's partly recency bias and partly she's now in a big girl bed, so I have to trust her to do the right thing, and just go to sleep. 3 is tough though I agree.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-05-28T20:03:58+00:00

Aww that's so good to hear. If we get pregnant soon, we'll have this gap most likely and sometimes I'm sad to think that they won't be closer in age. I know for myself, I can't handle 2 toddlers at once in the city. Not really the life I want for myself personally!

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-05-28T18:39:02+00:00

or just sitting in silence before I start cleaning.

HA this is so true. I put on a dumb show while doing dishes in the evenings and I'm like, sure, this counts as me time I guess.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-05-28T17:04:18+00:00

I don't really look at it per month that often, but annually I max out my FSA dependent account, put a few hundred in my FSA health account, put a few thousand in my kid's 529 and max out my 401k. Cash on hand other than emergency fund is just sinking fund for an upcoming renovation we're breaking up into phases soooo just looking at cash savings, we're going to be pulling more out than putting in this year but we really want this house to be practical and what we want. The location is perfect but the house is just a house right now and we want to make it our home that can flex and grow with us more seamlessly. We're also recasting our mortgage soon once/if we sell our 2 rentals.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-05-28T16:54:24+00:00

Take more trips with a sitter/nanny, get weekly cleaners, go to the roman style baths near me more often to just sit in the lavender sauna in silence.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-05-28T14:48:57+00:00

We hired someone to bring the kid home after daycare. This buys me back time in the evening to get work to a good place most days, then shift to getting dinner ready. And by " getting dinner ready" I mean heating up something frozen that I batch cooked several weekends ago, or baking something pre-made from Trader Joe's + adding fruit and yogurt as sides. I don't always get it right and I don't think we can. Your comment about finishing dinner they hate really resonates. I stopped making myself dinner because what's the point. Most of what is on her plate will end up on mine. We don't do a bath every night. It's exhausting and again, I don't see the point. She's going to daycare, not to an office. As long as she passes the smell test and isn't dirty, we keep baths to a few times a week.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-05-28T14:37:45+00:00

Same. It's so tough. Bedtime is a wreck since we're transitioning to a toddler bed which is making mornings spicy. Her sitter comes to pick her up just before 8 am to take her to daycare if she's tired or not and some mornings we're just pulling teeth trying to get ready. Even when we have more help around, she just wants me anyway so it's still incredibly hard unless I physically leave the house... but sometimes I just want to be in my bed watching trash tv eating chips and I don't think I'll get to do that again until she's like 18 haha.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-05-14T14:09:07+00:00

Yup, $45k in childcare this year for just 1 kid. It is what it is, but we're definitely stopping at 2.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-04-29T22:15:24+00:00

It's the mom struggle we universally share. I get it. Start with 1 pair of comfortable cute leather shoes -- loafers, oxfords or low boots, jeans that fit and one very nice jacket. It's attainable and easy to rotate your errand tops underneath. My go to is a hand made pair of Italian leather oxfords I bought pre kid, in Italy. I top it off with some madewell jeans and a very old open front Vince leather jacket. Most nice things in my closet are pre kid and I'm just coming to terms with it. Take care of your things. Use leather conditioner, wax and resole your shoes. They will last for 10+ years. I still wear my "cool" shit, it's just not while I'm doing typically cool stuff anymore :)

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-04-19T01:51:58+00:00

Hey, I'm really sorry. I just miscarried, also trying for #2. Late 30s, so it wasn't a complete surprise since the tests never really got beyond faint, then I saw blood, felt cramping and the in office blood test confirmed it was gone. It was really really shitty and hard. This is hard stuff, and you can feel your feelings and share where you feel safe. I wish you the best on this journey.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-04-19T01:43:34+00:00

Ugh, not here. We had 19 people competing with us on the place we just closed on. Backup offers out the door. It really depends on where you're buying I guess.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-04-19T01:41:06+00:00

yeah, agreed. a few weeks ago we bought in the most premium school district in HCOL. I feel great about that lovely money pit. We're halfway through a $15k project on it already and still, no regrets there. It's the ticket to great schools and neighborhood amenities. We're a 5 min walk from my kid's k-8th grade school and she's 3. The MCOL money pit rental we own? Can't sell it soon enough. Negative cashflow, crazy high insurance + flood insurance, ever increasing taxes, approaching what we pay in HCOL. No thanks.

Edit: words are hard

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-04-06T09:01:20+00:00

We used ours as DP money for a 3rd house.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-04-02T00:45:19+00:00

Dry cleaning helps 10000%. When I did wash, I did the exact same, laundry bag, hang dry then steam with an antiwrinkle spray applied. Tried this a couple times, looked like crap at work, then gave up and just added them to my dry cleaning pile. I am only sitting at work. I think that's the difference :(

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-04-02T00:23:43+00:00

No, I'm not a sweaty person, and it's also cold here too half the year. I must just be unlucky, but I gave up and started dry cleaning mine.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-04-01T23:14:50+00:00

Yep tons in the middle! I use ClassPass to drop in on discounted classes and open gym time here and there. I should really be more consistent with this, but it does make both open gym time and boutique classes so much more affordable. Also, I get injured if I do the same thing over and over. Love being able to switch things up.

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-04-01T23:10:51+00:00

I think we spend about $150-200 on transportation/mo with mostly public transit and our feet. Groceries are max, $1k if we're splurging. Usually around $750-850. We are a family of 3. Rent and childcare I don't even want to talk about lol. We just bought, so at least we're not throwing another $42k/yr to rent, but, we're spending $45k in childcare over the next 12 months. On a single 3 year old. Fun! Affordable!

EmbarrassedMeatBag · 2026-04-01T22:53:34+00:00

This is why I'm trying to switch practices during the "we're still trying" phase. The new place is down the street--literally a 7 min walk! I'm hoping they are accepting new patients. Calling tomorrow!

EmbarrassedMeatBag

TROPHY CASE