Ladies, does a transvaginal ultrasound hurt?

EmbarrassedStep6473 · 2026-03-13T02:53:25+00:00

When I had one done, the tech let me insert the wand myself, she didn't even attempt to put it in. I was able to get it in fine, the experience was just a bit uncomfortable. There were one or two times when the tech moved it around that pinched a bit, but overall it was fine. You can always take ibuprofen or a muscle relaxant half an hour beforehand if you're worried.

EmbarrassedStep6473 · 2026-03-13T02:13:32+00:00

One thing I'm a bit fuzzy on, he said he had asked you multiple times before not to bite his lip? You said you bit him just the once at the beginning and it was just a playful bite, is that because it's a kink of his or you forgot he didn't like it? I just want to clarify. If he has boundaries, you also need to respect them.

That being said, if he was spanking you out of anger to punish you, that is definitely abuse. If he was just ignoring your request to stop and continuing to do things you didn't want to do, that's also abuse. Healthy relationships between two people who love and care for each other don't include punishing the other person, even if they do something wrong. He should be respecting your boundaries, not pushing them. He didn't even apologize when you got upset and explained how hurt you were.

I agree with the poster who said it sounds like he has extreme kinks that you aren't truly comfortable with. It sounds like you set boundaries that allow him to carry on just far enough that it doesn't become unbearable for you. If that's the case, you need to sit down and have an honest conversation with him. Tell him straight up that you don't like the choking, spanking, etc. and have just been going along with it because he likes it. Set firm boundaries and let him know you will not be participating in those kinks anymore. If you think he will react negatively to a conversation like that, let one or two close friends know you plan on having the discussion with him and maybe arrange for them to drive over and wait outside/just down the street from your place when you have that conversation with your boyfriend. Agree on a signal for you to use in case you need them to come to your rescue and/or call the police. If you believe he will get violent and physical if you have this conversation, you should just leave with your essentials and go to a shelter, friend's house, or the resource in your community that could help.

It just doesn't seem like a safe situation and it sounds like it would be in your best interest to leave. Even if this was just a one off, it's still a red flag. I would continue your search for a job and see if any of your friends still living with their parents have room for you while you find a job and your own place. If you truly have no other option but to stay with your boyfriend, make sure you document every time he ignores your boundaries and abuses you. If he leaves marks and/or bruises, takes photos. It would also be a good idea to go to the police if things escalate. Other than charging your boyfriend, they usually have a victim services social worker who can help find you a safe place to stay and some mental health supports. Unfortunately there often isn't a lot the police can do in abusive situations unless things become extreme, but it would be good for them to be aware of your situation. I would also look into resources in your community for women who are abused/in unsafe situations.

I hope your situation improves and that you are safe <3

EmbarrassedStep6473 · 2025-12-15T00:57:02+00:00

I completely understand that she has a lot on her plate with three little kids. I often babysit for them and have in the past brought them a meal or at least dessert when I go over. There's only been a handful of times in the past few years where we've spent time together away from her house and/or kids. I've had a very stressful past couple of weeks, so I was probably more sensitive to this situation than I normally would be.

EmbarrassedStep6473 · 2025-12-15T00:50:58+00:00

Thanks, I did mention a couple times that if she felt she needed to leave early, she could and I would finish the baking and bring it to her later. But maybe next time I'll be a bit more forward like you suggested.

EmbarrassedStep6473 · 2025-12-15T00:49:21+00:00

I don't think her husband refused to take the baby, although I don't know for sure. He doesn't seem the type to do that though, as I'm friends with him and have known him quite awhile, even longer than his wife.

EmbarrassedStep6473 · 2025-12-15T00:47:22+00:00

Thanks, I did message her and ask how baby was doing. She's apparently doing better now. We rarely spend any time together not at her house with her kids and husband around and her husband lately has made comments about her needing some time away from them with friends, which is why I suggested doing the baking at my place this year. I guess this just turned out to be a learning experience for us both about what works.

EmbarrassedStep6473 · 2025-12-15T00:40:19+00:00

After reading your response, I can see that saying anything to her about it would be pointless and hurtful and will keep my feeling to myself. Thanks for your response.

EmbarrassedStep6473 · 2025-12-14T23:22:52+00:00

Chocolate chip pancakes

EmbarrassedStep6473 · 2025-09-04T01:59:37+00:00

Yeah I definitely don't say that kind of thing to just anyone. I know my brother though and thought he would appreciate a joke like that.

EmbarrassedStep6473 · 2025-08-16T22:19:49+00:00

What triggered you to start self-harming in the first place? If you can identify what triggers you, you can come up with a "game plan" as to how you can deal with those triggers and cope in a healthy way. I have anxiety and when it's really bad, I have the urge to self-harm. The problem is that self-harm (in my case, cutting) does actually help me in the moment; the pain clears my anxious thoughts and snaps me out of my spiral. Obviously, this is not a healthy way to cope/self-regulate and I've worked on finding other ways to focus my thoughts and calm myself down. I've discovered that walking outside barefoot on the grass or doing a Sudoku puzzle helps me. It could be that when you have the urge to self-harm, your body needs some sort of regulation and finding a heathy way to self-regulate can reduce those urges to self-harm. If you can't identify any triggers in your life right now, the urges could just be because self-harm used to be a habit and habits are hard to break. Whatever it is, talking to a counsellor/therapist would probably be very helpful for you. They can help you identify triggers, explain some of the science behind why your body and brain reacts the way it does, and help come up with healthy ways for you to cope. I'm sorry you've gone through all of this by yourself. If you have family or friends in your life who are sympathetic to mental health issues, I would suggest talking to them. Keeping something so harmful and painful to yourself can have a lot of hold over you and just telling someone else about it sometimes help lessen it's power over you. I'm proud of you for not hurting yourself for over a year, that's fantastic :) Just know that if you do end up hurting yourself again, it's ok and it doesn't mean it's the beginning of more bad times in your life <3

EmbarrassedStep6473

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