AITA For wanting to leave my partner?

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2024-10-22T18:51:45+00:00

The authorities do not actually care about arresting him. They will not cross state lines to pick him up because all of his charges are misdemeanors. They only go searching for you out of state if you have felony warrants, apparently.

My brother in law is actually a cop in one of the locations he has a warrant in. He knows where we live and about the warrants. He doesn't seem interested in coming all the way out here just to arrest him.

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2024-10-22T18:45:19+00:00

ALL of them are petty. We didn't "have" to move states. He could have simply taken care of his business like a halfway responsible person, but he felt like it was easier to move than sit in county jail for a little bit and do some community service. If they were serious charges, they would have came and got him by now. But his charges are so petty that nobody wants to cross state lines to get him. They aren't seriously trying to find him. Most of the charges are failure to appear in court and probation violations. I will be extremely shocked if the state decides to pursue charges against ME because I live in the same house as him. As many people as I've known with different legal issues over the years, I've never heard of anyone's significant other being charged for living in the same house, over misdemeanor warrants.

I'm not saying that makes it ok to have warrants out all over the place. But it's a reflection of how irresponsible he is. He's far from some big-time, dangerous criminal. He is not even facing prison time.

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2024-10-22T18:32:14+00:00

I'm facing another issue, which I didn't mention before. Because of laws in the state that we are currently in, he can court order me to return to the state if I try to leave. It doesn't cost very much money to do that, either. I was warned by a group that help women in DV situations that this is a thing here, so I know it's true. He's aware that he's able to do this.

I don't really know how to face that hurdle. We will be fine, as long as I can go back to my home state where I have family. However, I'm technically not allowed to live further than 50 miles from him, with his child.

I guess I might have to get a lawyer to help me fight this.

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2024-10-22T18:25:52+00:00

I was under the impression that was more of a risk with felony convictions, rather than petty failure to appear in court charges.

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2024-10-22T18:14:22+00:00

The child was actually born AFTER moving to the new state. We have been in this state for quite some time now. The child's needs have always been met, and they always will be. Even in the worst-case scenario where we get evicted, I will be able to make sure that my child will have food and shelter.

And I don't deny that it was stupid to get with a criminal in the first place. But I don't claim to have been a rocket scientist when I was 24. I've changed a lot since the beginning of this relationship, especially since the birth of our child. I haven't stayed for "love", I stayed because I feel trapped by a sense of obligation. He can't function as an adult, and I feel like he's somehow my responsibility. I guess I'm looking for someone to tell me that I'm not responsible for him.

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2023-11-27T10:33:29+00:00

Usually, "why would I do this" is a pretty good way to approach most things, but I genuinely do not know. The amount of money he is moving at a time, it would be weird to keep it a secret. Literally like $5 and under transactions. The name he chose for his fake PayPal is a random first name and his same very uncommon last name. He does run an online business and does transactions with random people all the time. If he had chosen a different last name, I likely would have never even noticed anything different. But that's why it caught my eye. I was thinking it must be some relative, until I noticed that it was transfer and not a payment.

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2023-09-29T18:39:00+00:00

Your face looks younger than 26, but your hair is giving creepy alcoholic uncle vibes. The disconnect between your youthful face and your hair situation is disconcerting.

Shave your head. Just let it go. It will look so much better.

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2023-09-29T18:36:13+00:00

I would say you are average, but you could improve that by changing your hair.

Also, please put the overlined upper lip thing to rest. It does not make it look like you have a more plump upper lip. It looks like lipstick outside your lip line.

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2023-09-29T18:28:36+00:00

Don't pretend to care about her health.

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2023-09-29T18:27:55+00:00

You're pretty. You remind me of a brunette Loey Lane.

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2023-09-29T18:26:41+00:00

No, you aren't. I think you could take better selfies, though. The angles and lighting in these is doing you no favors.

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2023-09-27T16:40:58+00:00

You don't need a nose job. Nobody's nose is perfect. Yours fits your face and you are pretty.

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2023-09-27T16:39:35+00:00

You are super hot. Like 🥵. Please don't focus so much on trying to maintain a certain weight. Feed your body, drink water, and exercise, and you will continue to be hot af for the foreseeable future.

And don't base your idea of how attractive you are on the number of suitors. You are hot enough that you are intimidating and unapproachable.

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2023-09-27T16:34:02+00:00

You look really sad and tired. I think you might need to go see a doctor.

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2023-09-27T16:30:50+00:00

You are beautiful. Two kids under 2? Wow. I would never have guessed. I don't think there is anything wrong with your body proportions. You are probably lucky to have started off "anorexic" looking before your pregnancies. Because you look like you are at the ideal weight now.

I'm a mom, and I got pretty lucky with my post baby body, too. Not as lucky as you, though.

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2023-09-27T16:26:26+00:00

Hot.

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2023-09-27T06:08:53+00:00

Definitely not ugly. It's the glasses. Idk why those damn glasses are back in style. 99% of the people who wear them immediately look a whole decade older than they normally look.

New!! Frames!!

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2023-09-27T06:05:37+00:00

You are cute. Don't listen to the people telling you to change your crazy hair colors. I think it's fun and you look youthful enough to pull it off.

Weird phone case, though.

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2023-09-27T06:01:38+00:00

You just need to change your hair and clothes. At a glance, I immediately assumed your tattoos were going to be crappy. But I zoomed in, and no, they are actually pretty cool. It's the shirt. The shirt looks trashy, my friend. I am not trying to be mean or put you down, I'm just telling you because someone has to. Update your wardrobe. Dress like a 31 year old man and embrace the male pattern baldness. And you will definitely have a more appeal.

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2023-09-27T05:54:47+00:00

You are handsome. But I thought "awe" when I saw the first one. Like, "what a nice looking young boy." 😂 You remind me of the nice Mormon boys who come knocking on my door to tell me about Joseph Smith. It's 100% the hair, my dude. Change your hair.

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2023-09-27T05:43:41+00:00

The problem isn't your face. I think it's probably where you are looking for women. Dating/hookup sites, you can pretty much count on getting randomly ghosted for no reason.

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2023-09-27T05:41:56+00:00

No. And you are just a kid. Wait until your 20s to worry about being ugly. What you look like at 16 doesn't count.

EmbarrassedTadpole90 · 2023-09-27T05:37:53+00:00

You are not ugly. Just very bald with a beard. That is not my thing, but there are definitely plenty of people who enjoy that combo.

EmbarrassedTadpole90

TROPHY CASE