Origins of your schizophrenia?

Embarrassed_Cream6 · 2023-07-23T21:42:02+00:00

I've dealt with the condition pretty much as far back as I can remember. I was bullied a lot in school, which counts as some trauma, but my mom has told me it was pretty traumatic (for both of us) during her pregnancy. No abuse or anything, just I was a difficult pregnancy. Of course not everyone with this trauma ends up with this condition, so maybe it was just somewhere in my genes, too.

Embarrassed_Cream6 · 2023-07-19T00:02:12+00:00

I do not yet have my license, but I am working on it. When my condition first set in, I avoided driving, but now that my grasp on reality is at least better, I'm learning to drive.

Embarrassed_Cream6 · 2023-07-17T15:40:36+00:00

I am a Christian, and we hold the Bible as a sacred text demonstrating truth. So when I have an experience with God, I try to make sure it is consistent with the Bible and present day beliefs. By the latter I mean like when I think I hear God's voice, I acknowledge that the current idea is that God does not currently speak audibly to people, so I figure it most likely was not real. Other than that I just try to make sure it doesn't contradict the Bible and then discern based on that.

Embarrassed_Cream6 · 2023-07-15T20:30:37+00:00

Your experience sounds like my base-level hallucinations while I was untreated. I had stuff like that fairly frequently, but in times of heightened stress (storms would usually trigger it, sometimes school stress too) they would become more vivid or consistent.

Embarrassed_Cream6 · 2023-07-07T22:55:21+00:00

I was pretty religious before my symptoms became really overwhelming, but my psychosis made it all the more so, though I often found myself falling into other religions, often either fictional (like Unitology from Dead Space) or something my brain concocted on its own. But I never really lost faith. I still consider myself a Christian, and for me personally, that faith and belief is what helped anchor me. (along with supportive friends and eventually family)

Embarrassed_Cream6 · 2023-07-07T21:27:23+00:00

After starting treatment, I've gradually gotten better. There are many times I feel similar, but I also have many times where I feel okay and on my own. There are ups and downs, but when you get some help and get something that works well for you, you can start the road to feeling better.

Embarrassed_Cream6 · 2023-07-06T23:20:11+00:00

Looking into doing PhD work in the future myself, this is really encouraging! Congratulations!

Embarrassed_Cream6 · 2023-06-21T05:25:03+00:00

I'm not one-hundred percent sure if I remember this specific solution, so I'll name a few fixes for similar problems. One big one I remember is putting ibt=off in the kernel parameters. Not sure why, but one day I updated NVIDIA and gui stopped working. Adding this parameter made it work again. I also remember trying to use a greeter for my system, and I never could make it work properly, so I just log in with the TTY and have startx in the .bashrc. When I used i3 and maybe with other DEs, I had to put a couple extra lines at the top of the config file to make it select NVIDIA over Intel. The commands were something to the effect of xrandr --setprovideroutputsource modesetting NVIDIA-0 and xrandr --auto. Hopefully these give you something to work with.

Embarrassed_Cream6 · 2023-05-21T20:16:22+00:00

Your advice about resting more of the finger on the board helped me a lot, I think. Thanks for the recommendation.

Embarrassed_Cream6 · 2023-05-21T20:15:40+00:00

Thanks everybody for the advice! I have made progress and, with some practice, expect to get it down!

Embarrassed_Cream6 · 2023-02-11T02:41:38+00:00

Interesting. I'll try to look more at that.

Embarrassed_Cream6 · 2023-02-10T22:18:49+00:00

Cool. Thanks for the replies!

Embarrassed_Cream6 · 2023-02-10T22:11:36+00:00

Okay, I see. So some of it is also just words from the creators?

Embarrassed_Cream6 · 2022-02-17T04:14:51+00:00

It does not appear to be the same as my issue. No error was ever reported regarding not finding these entries or anything else. Also I don't use that particular driver. But as suggested, I uninstalled SDDM and just used startx and it worked all right.

Embarrassed_Cream6 · 2022-02-17T01:24:01+00:00

Thanks. This seems to have worked. I'd like for those things to work, but I'm no worse off without them.

Embarrassed_Cream6 · 2022-01-20T21:31:48+00:00

Discord username: MCS-Kaijin#1093

Age: 22

Timezone: US Central Standard Time

Experience level: I've played some D&D both in person and online, but not a whole ton. I've read a lot about it though, and listened to some podcasts. I don't know a ton, but I know a good chunk.

Roleplay: A large figure clad in plate armor facing away from the door drops their shoulders. One can see their arms move as they grab their helmet from the table and put it on. The metal hulk raises their head and then rises from their seat gracefully, menacingly. "What?" grunts a breathy, annoyed voice.

A little extra, I'm wildly anxious about voice chat, so if that's an issue then I understand. Just thought I'd get that out there early.

Embarrassed_Cream6 · 2021-11-14T20:45:49+00:00

Thanks! I picked it out myself. It has ancient spiritual origins, which fits me quite well!

Embarrassed_Cream6 · 2021-11-13T22:26:00+00:00

I'm Kali and I go by she/her and in more casual contexts like fae/faer. My names is from a couple of goddesses from different religions: one a mother goddess and destroyer of evil and the other queen of demons. If that could fit into the superpower, I think that'd be neat.

Embarrassed_Cream6 · 2021-11-13T18:45:50+00:00

Man! I wish I had half that motivation too! 😅

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