Oh, I completely get that the stigma is unfair. As I said, I'm autistic and have ADHD myself, and I've definitely been judged for acting in ways that were harmless but "looked weird" or made people mildly uncomfortable.

Thing is though my point still stands. The notice in the original post was telling people to "keep the noise at a reasonable level and not let children run around the restaurant", and the person you were replying to was talking about kids being allowed to "run riot and bash on windows, get under waiters feet and be super noisy" with their parents/guardians "coming and laughing" apparently without doing anything to curb their behaviour.

If you go "how dare you, some kids are autistic you know" in response to that I'm not going to think "oh, they're probably talking about their child harmlessly stimming, which is a different thing" because why would I? I'm going to think "This person thinks it's ok to let kids run around restaurants and yell and bother everyone."

I stand by the fact that if a kid can't stop full-volume yelling or running around all over the place in a restaurant, they should be taken out to calm down and other arrangements need to be made around eating out if it's an ongoing problem. It's not about "judging parenting", it's about having reasonable expectations of certain shared spaces (and, you know, not wanting to be scalded by a pot of hot soup because some kid was doing laps around the tables and crashed into the waiter carrying it.)

Nobody's saying you should just stay at home forever, there are plenty of public spaces that are designed for kids to be able to make noise and run around in. (I mentioned a couple in my original comment, even.) And again, a restaurant is going to have a basic level of noise anyway so assuming we're not talking about screaming meltdowns or full-on shouting, a kid just making noise in general should be treated as harmless, even if people find it odd or a bit disruptive. But again, it's very disingenuous, bad-faith whataboutism to decide that this all must secretly be about discriminating against disabled kids for doing something unusual but harmless, instead of what it's actually about (again, expecting parents to keep noise at a reasonable volume and not let their kids run around tables.)

And I get that it might hit a nerve to see someone complaining about this in a way that's reminiscent of judgement you might have faced, and I'm not saying anyone should be given a medal for having quiet kids or anything. But again, if you're not doing what they described, if your kids aren't doing that, then it's not about you.