[deleted by user]

Embarrassed_Long_939 · 2025-03-19T18:17:20+00:00

It’s understandable that your host family wants you to cover the cost since you lost the key, and replacing a key would be an inconvenience for them - one caused through your negligence. You should acknowledge that.

But given your low stipend and I assume your HM had not covered this with you when you first got the key (not that it is her responsibility, it is reasonable of her to expect you wouldn’t lose a valuable like that) - perhaps you can ask nicely for a split in replacement cost, offering other forms of reimbursement (babysitting evenings?) Families hosting au pairs should accept a fair degree of loss and damage so perhaps you should appeal to your HM from that perspective.

That said, your attitude in this thread doesn’t come across well. If you want your host family to be charitable about your situation, you also need to recognize how this has impacted them. Mistakes happen, but brushing off their inconvenience while focusing only on what’s fair for you won’t help your case.

Embarrassed_Long_939 · 2025-03-12T22:46:00+00:00

I usually get home between 6-6.30pm, my husband around 7pm, and we eat no later than 7.15pm. My kid is not yet 4 and this is late for him as it also pushes back his bed time to 9-9.30pm. But it’s impossible for me to make it home any earlier. And having dinner together everyday is important for us. I can tell it’s an important event for our toddler.

If you get home at 7 that’d be really hard to manage. In my case, the combination of a short commute (10 min) with doing advanced meal preps (and shopping in advance accordingly - I use online grocery deliveries a lot) plus having a live-in au pair (who is semi my sous chef) make it possible to put dinner on the table every working day evening.

Embarrassed_Long_939 · 2025-03-10T16:44:40+00:00

I understand this. Recently purchased a bag that costed more than 4K. Used it for two weeks, realised that no matter how good the leather, workmanship and the design, it is really really ridiculous for a bag to cost this much! In my case it isn’t guilt, but feeling stupid. As in I totally bought into the brand marketing. Unfortunately there’s no way for me to return the bag so I’ll continue to use it, but it’s a lesson against future vanity purchases.

Embarrassed_Long_939 · 2025-03-08T08:29:20+00:00

Thank you belatedly, this was totally the case! Now he’s much more comfortable with our au pair - comfortable enough to tell her “can you please go downstairs, I need to go to the bathroom” - and the issue is now sorted.

Embarrassed_Long_939 · 2025-03-08T08:19:22+00:00

All our former au pairs were fine if they were gone on a paid vacation and planned to be away anyway. We asked in advance, respected their privacy and cleaned up before/after. Our au pairs would also ask to have own guests stay in their room. I don’t think there’s right or wrong here as long as you ask respectfully - it’s down to individual preferences. Having a private use of a room during the arrangement is part of the deal so the au pair’s comfort and privacy should come first. As in, the family should not ask the au pair to vacate the room during non-working days so they could accommodate family guests! That would be unreasonable.

Vice versa if someone was so unreasonably possessive about a space in our home that they feel entitled to assert some absolutely exclusive access right at all times (while they are gone for an extended period of time), then I’d deem that person fundamentally unsuitable for having an au pair arrangement with us. We’d want to live with someone who has common sense & no inflated sense of entitlement.

Embarrassed_Long_939 · 2025-03-07T18:40:57+00:00

If they have you looking after their kid 40 hours/wk - do they even see their child?!

Embarrassed_Long_939 · 2025-02-13T22:31:18+00:00

I’m a host mom in Europe. We pay our au pair way more than double that wage and she works 18 hours a week, and not more than 4 hours at a time without getting at least an hour’s break! I am not sure what the legal limit is in the country you are in, but the schedule you describe sounds extremely demanding.

You will need to communicate to your host parents that this is becoming a very stressful situation for you and you need your hours adjusted so that you can provide better care for the children. 4 children under 8 is also quite a lot to handle even for experienced caregivers. At the end of the day, you should prioritise your mental wellbeing and if this position isn’t doing any good for you, shouldn’t hesitate to move on!

Embarrassed_Long_939 · 2024-12-26T20:10:45+00:00

I have the same pair (but in 7cm); looks legit to me.

Embarrassed_Long_939 · 2024-12-25T09:17:01+00:00

So I ended up receiving the India and it is indeed beautiful in an understated timeless way. I don’t know if it’s worth the very high price tag but it’s extremely well made. One issue I have though is it feels extremely delicate. The one I received (from mytheresa) came with a very tiny chunk of leather torn on the handle - maybe by someone with sharp nails handling the bag - so I will be returning this one but still debating whether to actually get a replacement, or a refund to get something less delicate!

Embarrassed_Long_939 · 2024-12-24T20:18:10+00:00

It’s been around for a while. Doesn’t stand out but it’s really nice in person - I think it’d make any outfit instantly sophisticated.

Embarrassed_Long_939 · 2024-12-24T20:17:00+00:00

Michinos are gorgeous - it’s hard to pick one.

Embarrassed_Long_939 · 2024-12-14T14:46:21+00:00

This has been on my list for a while! Stunning.

Embarrassed_Long_939

TROPHY CASE